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Is this really how sexual people experience sexual fantasies? Is this common?


WanderingKate

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WanderingKate

So after talking to a sexual friend about fantasies, I'm left with a lot of questions...

 

Said friend basically explained sexual fantasies as seeing an attractive person and playing out an entire sex scene with them in your head. A detailed sex scene. Imagining how they are in bed, imagining specific sex acts, the sounds they make, their naked body, etc.

 

Is this really how most people experience sexual fantasies? Do people really have these scenarios playing through their heads throughout the day? If so I was way off...and I've definitely never experienced one in my life.

 

Also, is the fact I've never fantasized about myself having sexual relations with someone else a strong indicator of asexuality? Or do a lot of people not experience them this way?

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Depends on the person. 

 

I fantasize only about my spouse. And it is rare, not every day. But, if I get aroused then to erm, take care of it I will think about how her body feels, smells, tastes, noises she makes, etc. Mine isnt images cause I cant see in my head, just ... concepts and feelings ? 

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All I know is the allos can be weird sometimes. Like today, some kid who I know is allo came up to me and said that I was on a power trip because I go to my GSA meetings and I'm asexual. Like what? Asexuality is arrogance???

 

I think Varys said it best.

“Not me. When I see what desire does to people, what it’s done to this country, I am very glad to have no part in it. Besides, the absence of desire leaves one free to pursue other things” 

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kumiko_itoe
1 hour ago, WanderingKate said:

So after talking to a sexual friend about fantasies, I'm left with a lot of questions...

 

Said friend basically explained sexual fantasies as seeing an attractive person and playing out an entire sex scene with them in your head. A detailed sex scene. Imagining how they are in bed, imagining specific sex acts, the sounds they make, their naked body, etc.

 

Is this really how most people experience sexual fantasies? Do people really have these scenarios playing through their heads throughout the day? If so I was way off...and I've definitely never experienced one in my life.

 

Also, is the fact I've never fantasized about myself having sexual relations with someone else a strong indicator of asexuality? Or do a lot of people not experience them this way?

I believe the key word is "having fantasies". 

 

Taking it out of the context of sex, everyone in this world has fantasies - some are about being rich, some about being beautiful, some about going on a holiday somewhere alone, some have fantasies about that amazing book they are going to write or a certain food that they are craving for. 

 

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I fantasies a lot from weird daydreams about being rich and famous to just fun to sexual. I know a lot of sexual people who don't have sexual fantasies or fantasize about anything sexual. It is just how I have always been. Curiosity I guess. 

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3 hours ago, Europan said:

I think Varys said it best.

“Not me. When I see what desire does to people, what it’s done to this country, I am very glad to have no part in it. Besides, the absence of desire leaves one free to pursue other things” 

Yeah, but I spent it all playing video games

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Grumpy Alien

I’m sexual and don’t have sexual fantasies

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That’s how I experience sexual fantasies. They’re long and very detailed. It can be tricky cause I want to make them realistic, but not too realistic, haha. I usually don’t fantasize all day. But it’s not abnormal for me to spend the whole day or almost the whole day only fantasizing. I have no real life though, and am at home most of the time so it’s easy to do for me. Sometimes I fantasize so much that I start losing touch with reality and get very detached from the real world around me and then I have to take a break. I don’t usually fantasize in public, but that happens too. I have been to a mental hospital and a ward, that wasn’t a hospital but similar, and in both of those places I’ve fantasized, in my bedroom, in the kitchen, in the living room, etc… I’ve fantasized in buses and trains, I’ve even fantasized in therapy. But fantasizing in public is really not that comfortable, and when I get aroused it becomes frustrating cause I can’t masturbate in public.  

 

Despite having all these fantasies I have no desire to have sex in real life though. 

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2 hours ago, CBC said:

@Salmiakki Umm... do you think that's something worth mentioning to a therapist? That sounds like maladaptive daydreaming to me.

Because of the losing touch with reality thing? It doesn't happen that often.. just sometimes. I think... I don't know. And it's not like I fantasize all the time, there are days when I don't... sometimes it just gets out of control, just sometimes.. sometimes I kinda can't stop but then it calms down

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