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sunset

Smoking and sex

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sunset

Do you remember when people smoked everywhere? Many thought it was their right, and if it bothered you, it was your problem. I had a boss who chain-smoked in a nearby office and wouldn't go outside to smoke, even though I was pregnant. Since then, society has shifted its mindset toward granting smokers the right to smoke, but not if it impinges on the rights of others.

I wonder if we will see a similar shift in society's mindset toward sex. Because being sexual has been seen as the "natural" way of being in a relationship, sexual people have typically viewed having sex with their partners as their right. (I also suspect that men's typically stronger sex drive and historical power over women contributed this belief). But I'm hopeful that maybe, as with smoking, we'll move in a direction that equally considers the rights of sexuals and non-sexuals. I think it will take some time and "speaking up" for our rights, though.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

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Ziffler

Nope. I think it will continue on the trend that it has been on my entire life. More and more open sexuality. I'm prudish on this , but I see it as one of the signs of a decaying civilization/empire. When I was a boy, sex was hidden. It wasnt ever talked about and definately not shown on tv or in movies. When you look at old sitcoms, husbands and wives had seperate beds. They were always completetly clothed and never talked about sex and you never saw anyone in their underwear let alone naked. I had the opportunity of visiting the Hammersmith Farm, where Jacqueline and John Kennedy stayed after there marriage for awhile. They had seperate twin sized beds. From the 50's to today, society has opened up sexuality to the public in almost all its forms. There still are a couple taboos left. One of which is transgenerational sex and another is child sex. But even both of those are becoming more and more acceptable in our society. Slowly children are fighting for their rights in our society and one of those rights will be to have sex with whomever they want. The 12 year old pregnancy rate in this country is very high. Sex is being taught in kindergarden, in a very simplistic form but its still being taught to 5 year olds. I saw a news article about a 6 year old boy being suspended from school for sexual harrassment, and the question they are dealing with is do they put this boy on the sexual offender registry? Where did he even learn what sexual harrassment is to act on it.

So no, don't look to see a change in the sexual habits of this society towards the tolereance and rights of non-sexuals not to be bombbarded by seuxal ads, tv programs, inuendos and school teachings.

This of course is just how I see society going. Only time will tell if this is in fact the way it will go. Hopefully not.

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roddy9uk
Nope. I think it will continue on the trend that it has been on my entire life. More and more open sexuality. ...............

So no, don't look to see a change in the sexual habits of this society towards the tolereance and rights of non-sexuals not to be bombbarded by seuxal ads, tv programs, inuendos and school teachings.

This of course is just how I see society going. Only time will tell if this is in fact the way it will go. Hopefully not.

I am afraid I agree with you. We will see a lot more control of "personal habits" such as smoking while seeing a lot LESS control of sexual propoganda before there is a backlash (which I am sure will come but not just yet).

roddy

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vikingo

Sex is something fundamental in human beings, This, I believe, is not the case with smoking. Anyway - I think change could be on its way.

The ongoing redefinition of gender roles in society could result in sex being given a different value in the public image of our societies i.e. some kind of purification on the surface.

I do have a hunch that such development may increase the tension between the public image and the actual minds of people, pushing the societies towards more totalitary control methods. A scenario not unlike "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood only with females rather than males in the controlling role. In increasingly many situations forced treatments involving hormones and castration are being considered. Isn't that a step in that direction ?

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thylacine

It totally freaks me out to see the sexualization of little kids these days. Girls as young as 8 are wearing shirts that say stuff like "Tease" and "Come and Get It" and "Porn Star" on them... they wear crop tops and low cut pants, high heels, make up, they color their hair... the list goes on... and at 14 or 16, some of these brats want implants. Hello? These are CHILDREN!!! In a society where we are brainwashing innocent little girls into dressing and acting like little hookers -- something is very, very wrong!!! These kids are doing oral sex at 9 years old -- they are getting pregnant at 12 or 13 -- yeah... something is WRONG!!!

Any commentary?

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Islander9

3 things, least first: kids, in my country, round water (sea/river etc.) were frequently naked. Not any more. It's normally 3/4 body suits (melanoma.)Maori/Pakeha both.

2-When i grew up, EVERYONE smoked (except my Mum & my Nana - but that was becaue they couldnt stand the taste of tobacco.)

3-Everybody sort of stopped - because of the law- smoking publically about 4 years ago. I still smoke in my own home.Family kids will grimace but accept it. Two love the smell of my pipe & cigar tobaccos, but have no wish to smoke themselves- cool!

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Derp
Sex is something fundamental in human beings, This, I believe, is not the case with smoking.

Well, eating is fundamental too, but it's been my observation that people who do that in excess are treated even worse than smokers. I wouldn't be surprised if the government finds ways to legislate food consumption in the near future. I think they're working on it...

Any commentary?

Nope, just total agreement. :)

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roddy9uk
I wouldn't be surprised if the government finds ways to legislate food consumption in the near future. I think they're working on it...

Near future? With food labelling "E numbers" and so on.."5 a day" co-ordinators.."Healthy school meals" (law here from this month)..the sale of straight bananas and curved cucumbers forbdden...what makes you think of the near futire? Europe has lived with this for years..all in our best interests of course.

"Fatties" have health treatments refused..(but sexual disease clinics are "pushed")..."Safe sex" is taught to 5 yo's..but their parents are sent letters complaining about the type of breakfast foods...12 yo children are given contraceptives (and even abortions) without the knowledge or consent of their parents..but they are encouraged to "tell" if their parents drink or smoke..

OK so a lot of this may not strictly speaking be "law" but laws follow perceived wishes of the majority so it may very soon BECOME law. We already have legislation proposed for enforced parenting classes for pregnat women who are perceived to be likely to produce offspring who will become anti-social...but nothing to discourage them from becoming pregnant in the first place..

We have Firemen being disciplined for refusing to take part in a parade promoting homosexuality...but ambulance drivers refusing to help a fat person on health and safety grounds!!

No "near future" about that lot..it is here and now.

roddy

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vikingo

Cool thread. There is a touch of "topic explosion" to it. We are living in controlled societies. That I wouldn't mind as long as the control had a touch of common sense to it.

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Derp
Near future? With food labelling "E numbers" and so on.."5 a day" co-ordinators.."Healthy school meals" (law here from this month)..the sale of straight bananas and curved cucumbers forbdden...what makes you think of the near futire?

The fact that I wasn't aware of those regulations, for one thing. :P I was aware that they were trying to ban junk food in public schools somewhere (New Jersey, I think), but that's all I knew. The others don't surprise me, though. :?

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roddy9uk
The fact that I wasn't aware of those regulations, for one thing. :P I was aware that they were trying to ban junk food in public schools somewhere (New Jersey, I think), but that's all I knew. The others don't surprise me, though. :?

Well if you live in New Jersey you wouldn't know as perhaps you don't have them..yet.

Europe leads the world in nanny-state regulation..lol

roddy

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Seattleoutsider

There a lot of mix and confusing messages about lot of things. Some kids want to do things just because they are told they shouldn't. Sometimes kids are trained to be sexual at young age, while other children its like trying to figure out whether the chicken or egg came first.

There some kids who are very, very, very sexual. I was but it was because of abuse. As a adult I have little to no interest in sex.

There are children who are sexual without the abuse though. They are humans, just like everyone else. When I was growing up in 60-70s there was really weird mix messages about sex and gender. You're not suppose to be sexual unless married. You're not normal unless your sexual at such and such age. Women and Men are equals or such and such and such. No they aren't or Women can be anything but Men must be such and such type of mixed messages. It was all bit too confusing for young mind. Perhaps thats how come I am where I am, I am not sure it doesn't really matter.

It weird though at least where I live I see imply sexual humor, subltle sexualizing in even childrens programing, but its always really sneaky, but violence is always more acceptable. Then there is always graphic discussions on most of television channels of violent sex crimes on news, programs. It often seems bit too much but at least they are talking about it. There were kids being victimize by sexual, physical abuse even in the 50s but no one ever talked about it. I am 41, lot of my friends who are 60 and older truely believe all the problems that we have today never existed in 50s because they were hidden. When people did talk about it in the 70s it often seem like joke or the victim asked for it. Sadly I think there are some people still out there who think kids want to be turned into sexualyzed objects because its natural,etc but those inocent child like emotions and not understanding what is happening to their bodies,etc can just become really twisted with wrong adult and societial interferrance.

Children have sex because they aren't taught how to get intimacy, love in other ways or they think that is the only way to be liked or normal or they were forced into it. I know that only reason why I ever acted out sexuallly as child.

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asafugitive

I really don't think the two can be compared in the way some of you are comparing them. Smoking is on a completely different spectrum from sex. you know, one's far more harmful to more peoples health. (which isn't to say that no one's health is harmed from sex, but I think you know what I mean)

but as for the original post, I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to get at. are you saying that society's sort of...obsession for lack of a better word with sex is somehow impinging on your rights? or just a general wondering if society will "get over" the whole sex thing? like, if people will kind of get bored with the novelty of it?

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Tanwen

The latest bit of state interference in peronal lives is Blair's idea that anti-social behaviour should be targeted while in the womb - that's right, social services will identify the type of parent likely to produce out of control children and steps taken to prevent the children going 'off the rails'

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sunset

Asafugitive,

What I was trying to get at in the original post is just that we are heavily influenced by our culture. We used to accept the rights of smokers to the point that they were allowed to inpinge upon our rights. Now it seems crazy.

Similarly, we live in a world that grants extreme importance to sex. We buy into this when we feel that it is our responsibility to have sex with our partners to satisfy their "normal" needs, ignoring our own rights to not have sex. (Think: "wifely duty"). I'm hoping that someday this, too, seems crazy.

I've enjoyed reading these posts!

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