Gldlynch Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Rant: Recently “Asexuality” trended on tumblr and it was really awesome to see such positivity and visibility surrounding it! ...until you opened the comment section. Personally, I feel like ace and aro spectrum people are part of the lgbtq+ family because the lgbtq+ is here to embrace all who fall outside of the cisgender heterosexual norm. And it pisses me off even more when people say we don’t deserve to be welcomed to the lgbtq+ fam because we have AVEN as our own community. Whilst yes AVEN is awesome, it’s not just a community but also a platform, dominantly an online platform. For example, when people say aces/aros are not welcome in lgbtq+ it makes it sound like we are not welcome to Pride, that we are not welcome to walk with flags and balloons like everyone else. And while we may not experience the same sort social/political oppression that other minorities do, it doesn’t take away the amount of emotional and mental strain we deal with. If people don’t consider us as immediate lgbtq+ family, as AVEN we are at least their cousins (however I feel like these acephobes are completely missing the purpose of AVEN anyway). The point of this rant: When people bash asexuality for not being “oppressed” enough for lgbtq+, tell them that the emotional and mental process of self-acceptance is the same journey. The feeling of “I am different” is still the same journey. The feeling of “why can’t I just be normal” is still the same journey. We didn’t choose to be asexual. Like other minorities we are wired differently. And when people bash asexuality, call them out for being acephobic. Those people need to know that rejection is seriously the last thing we need from inside the community too. Phobia within the community kills just as much as phobia from the outside. I saw some really heartbreaking comments today about asexuals and aromantics, and I hope you know that you are as valid as anyone else. Fight acephobia (or any kind of queerphobia) with love, kindness and compassion. Leave them educational comments, not judgemental ones, with lots of hugs, kisses and cake at the end! Everything is love! Link to post Share on other sites
Basrive Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I am not sure why people on tumblr and Twitter believe that they are the entire LGBTQ+ community, but it is delusional and harmful. Their walled garden is filled with so much spite and hate towards ace and aro folks. As if this is the opression olympics, and only one minority can get the gold. I avoid those sites, not just because i’m older and I don’t get it (partially true). Besides, I think I would have a podium finish, maybe bronze? I was getting called the “N word” before some of them were born! Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 55 minutes ago, Gldlynch said: We didn’t choose to be asexual. And even if we did, our choice would deserve respect as well. Seriously: even if I wasn't sex-averse, I feel that I would be drawn to "feminist political asexuality" anyway. This is indeed my view: we can't "f*** our way to freedom", but we can disturb the system by refusing to be sexually available. Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Tumblr seems like a wild place. I'm glad I never used it. Link to post Share on other sites
NoraGrace Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 It so stupid that even people in the LGBTQ+ community do not accept us. So now we have to face prejudice from both the lgbt community and straight people who think that we are more similar to animals because “Sexual attraction is what makes us human!” It’s so idiotic! And they say we’re not “Oppressed enough” to be included in LGBTQ+. They’re doing some of the oppressing! Link to post Share on other sites
CajunAce Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 40 minutes ago, NoraGrace said: And they say we’re not “Oppressed enough” to be included in LGBTQ+. They’re doing some of the oppressing! Double standards at its finest. I know many from the lgbt+ community, but luckily they've been very accepting of me. But I have told them that at least they don't have to explain what their sexuality/gender orientation even is all the time... It also reminds me a bit about how my older sister would pick on me because our oldest sister would pick on her. In turn, I would occasionally pick on my younger cousins. Though I would also pick on my older sisters whenever I saw the opportunity. Funny how we humans deal with pain... Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 1 hour ago, Galactic Turtle said: Tumblr seems like a wild place. I'm glad I never used it. Haha, same. I'm seeing incremental steps towards inclusion across many LGBT+ resources and organizations that, you know, do actual work, so I'm choosing to stay optimistic on this and disregard Tumblr theatrics. I get where some of these things are coming from, like if people who have been struggling with homophobia or discrimination in their local area perceive the invisibility or "innocence" of asexuality as an advantage. But it's a stretch to turn it into the kinds of comments one may find in acephobic Tumblr drama. LGBT+ resources and organizations serve so many purposes, including helping people who feel alienated by a heteronormative society figure themselves out, which could make asexuality relevant to the needs of their client base. Referring people to asexual resources and communities like AVEN is one way they can help people who turn out to be ace, but it doesn't have to come with cutting ties. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Don't let the bastards grind you down. When people have mistreated by others, they tend to take out their anger on the easiest target, instead of doing something about the individuals and structures that have harmed them. Link to post Share on other sites
Duke Memphis Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 I don't use Tumbler, and it's probably best that I don't, but we're obviously still people. No one needs to play "oppression games", minority or majority. Every community has very diverse members, so it would be hard for any member to speak on behalf of any community or against any community as a whole. Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 58 minutes ago, Ardoise said: Don't let the bastards grind you down. When people have mistreated by others, they tend to take out their anger on the easiest target, instead of doing something about the individuals and structures that have harmed them. It's called "punching down." Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 6 hours ago, Gldlynch said: When people bash asexuality for not being “oppressed” enough for lgbtq+, tell them that the emotional and mental process of self-acceptance is the same journey. The feeling of “I am different” is still the same journey. The feeling of “why can’t I just be normal” is still the same journey. We didn’t choose to be asexual. Like other minorities we are wired differently. Well said! Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Unfortunately while group identity (like LGBT) gives a real sense of support, pride and power - which are great things, it also tends to produce an isolation. I feeling that *you* are not part of *my* tribe. Groups that want to to be accepted, can easily themselves become non-accepting. Its an unfortunate way that human brains work. Link to post Share on other sites
LeChat Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 7 hours ago, Gldlynch said: ...I saw some really heartbreaking comments today about asexuals and aromantics, and I hope you know that you are as valid as anyone else. Fight acephobia (or any kind of queerphobia) with love, kindness and compassion. Leave them educational comments, not judgemental ones, with lots of hugs, kisses and cake at the end! Everything is love! This sounds like good advice because leaving those comments with angry or retaliatory ones would probably only encourage the ones saying those things to feel justified in leaving more hurtful comments and continuing to argue and be negatively judgemental against aces. Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 6 hours ago, NoraGrace said: It so stupid that even people in the LGBTQ+ community do not accept us. So now we have to face prejudice from both the lgbt community and straight people who think that we are more similar to animals because “Sexual attraction is what makes us human!” It’s so idiotic! And they say we’re not “Oppressed enough” to be included in LGBTQ+. They’re doing some of the oppressing! The “sexual attraction makes us human” bull**** pisses me off so much. Like okay, **** you all too. To a portion of people, we’re apparently soulless automatons who don’t deserve to be recognized. I’ve posted this a few times but in college, I took philosophy classes where we’d discuss what characteristics some creature/AI would require to pass as “human” or sentient. I’ve witnessed people in a college philosophy class say stuff like, “Romantic and sexual attraction are part of what make us human. If XYZ can’t experience those feelings, then it’s not human enough.” I normally don’t really make any verbal outbursts but I objected to that even though I had no idea what asexuality was. I just knew there had to be people who weren’t into sex, so I was mad that people would just dismiss that possibility out of hand. I expected more open-mindedness in college of all places 😒. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 Interactive puke buckets are annoying and still everywhere. My stance is that if that's what people want to spend their very much limited time on this planet with, mmmkay. For everyone who tells a story there's someone who wants to be a dick about it. Says more about them than about me I don't have a "soul" to begin with and I take being called "not human" as a compliment. Link to post Share on other sites
lowLifeLoner Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 8 hours ago, Gldlynch said: not being “oppressed” enough for lgbtq+ What an irony. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 My bisexual and trans friends accept me as part of the crew, and they're the only opinions I care about. Link to post Share on other sites
Divide By Zero Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 On 4/25/2019 at 5:04 AM, Gldlynch said: ...until you opened the comment section Don't read the comments section! Never Ever. Link to post Share on other sites
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