Do heterosexual ppl feel the same about the same-gender just like how asexuals do about all genders?

[Linda_jj]

Some asexuals enjoy watching porn doesn't matter if it's gay,straight or intersex porn(since they don't experience sexual attraction towards anyone regardless of their gender).what usually matters is the sex acts and kinks. while straight people only enjoy straight porn and they find gay porn disgusting.
I used to think that the only difference between asexuals and heterosexuals is that we just don't experience sexual attraction toward all genders and they don't experience sexual attraction toward all genders except opposite gender
Now what i don't understand is that what is it that makes a heterosexual (someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction towards same sex) hate gay porn or intersex porn . while an asexual who enjoys porn doesn't feel disgusted by them at all

[Grimalkin]

Some asexuals definitely have a porn preference. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily "disgusted" by lesbian porn, but it turns me way, way off. Even further off than I normally am by default. 

 

I still use the "You know how you feel about [same sex]? That's how I feel about everybody" line on straight people when I'm trying to get them to imagine a lack of attraction. It works just fine for describing sexual attraction, though of course romantic and sensual attraction is a whole different ball game. 

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Straight people do not hate gay porn, it's pretty common for straight people to watch it (me and my mates talk about anything...).

[Linda_jj]

2 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

Some asexuals definitely have a porn preference. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily "disgusted" by lesbian porn, but it turns me way, way off. Even further off than I normally am by default. 

 

I still use the "You know how you feel about [same sex]? That's how I feel about everybody" line on straight people when I'm trying to get them to imagine a lack of attraction. It works just fine for describing sexual attraction, though of course romantic and sensual attraction is a whole different ball game. 

That made me even more confused. It's not the sexual orientation that determines the gender preference? Then what is it?

I mean as an asexual i don't find anyone sexually attractive so i just don't care about their gender too.

I understand that if you are homoromantic you have gender preference but porn ain't about romantic attraction and  feelings .i don't understand how an asexual who doesn't experience sexual attraction has "sexual" gender preference ?!

[Linda_jj]

6 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Straight people do not hate gay porn, it's pretty common for straight people to watch it (me and my mates talk about anything...).

Well what many straight ppl claim is that gay porn is disgusting and a turn off....so idk if it's a homophobic reaction or it's actually normal!

[Anthracite_Impreza]

2 minutes ago, Linda_jj said:

Well what many straight ppl claim is that gay porn is disgusting and a turn off....so idk if it's a homophobic reaction or it's actually normal!

Where are you hearing this from? All porn is gross to me, but I'm not out there exclaiming it to the world. Seems like they have an agenda.

[Linda_jj]

14 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

I'm not disgusted by (male) gay porn, but it does turn me off. Men's sexuality and sexual behaviour holds no attraction for me and I don't particularly want to watch it. 

 

Some straight men react more strongly than others to homosexuality - I suspect a stronger reaction correlates with suppressed doubts about their own straightness but that's just speculation and another subject.

 

On the other hand, I do rather like girl on girl...

Yeah that's what I'm talking about. People's sexual orientation and sexual attraction usually aligns their sexual gender preference in porn...

And that's what i don't understand. Because asexuals don't experience  sexual attraction and porn is not a turn off for them!

 

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Aces still experience other forms of attraction, so it makes perfect sense for them to prefer certain genders/other over others.

[Grimalkin]

I do experience attraction though, and I do have a gender preference. I even can get turned on, very rarely, by people other than myself going at it (I just have absolutely no desire to have sex or to have things done to me, hence asexuality). I don't really like porn, but if I were to watch it, I would prefer to watch two men, because women do not hold any interest for me. I would say I even have an aversion to straight porn because I am attracted to men but not to women. 

[firewallflower]

I think one of the challenges here is this idea that "heterosexual people" as a collective are assumed to feel a certain way. Obviously, heterosexual people are generally interested in having sex with the opposite gender/sex and not interested in having sex with the same gender/sex (okay, there were way too many uses of the word "sex" in that sentence ), and it seems likely that, for people who watch porn, those interests and preferences would correlate with interests and preferences in porn. But that's not necessarily the case for all heterosexuals. Some might be actively repulsed by non-hetero stuff. Some might just find it boring. Some may even actively enjoy watching non-hetero stuff, just not want to engage in it themselves. Some might not like any porn, period.

 

Presumptively asexual here, and I personally find the idea of all porn (I say "idea" because I've never actually tried watching any, nor do I intend to do so) relatively "disgusting" (at the least, quite unattractive) in and of itself, gender notwithstanding. I daresay you could call it a "turnoff" for me. But obviously, not all asexuals feel the same way I do—there are all kinds of feelings on it that could be represented in the ace community, ranging through enjoyment, disinterest, repulsion, and undoubtably including any number of different preferences in any number of dimensions (gender included).

 

As someone to whom sexual attraction and porn are pretty much equally foreign, I won't try to explain why people do or don't have preferences (and really, there's not necessarily always a why at all), but I would imagine that interests and preferences in porn can probably be just as diverse among heterosexuals as among asexuals. So before even tackling the question of whether heterosexuals feel the same way as asexuals about something, I'd be wary of assuming heterosexual people feel the same as each other.

[Linda_jj]

8 minutes ago, Grimalkin said:

I do experience attraction though, and I do have a gender preference. I even can get turned on, very rarely, by people other than myself going at it (I just have absolutely no desire to have sex or to have things done to me, hence asexuality). I don't really like porn, but if I were to watch it, I would prefer to watch two men, because women do not hold any interest for me. I would say I even have an aversion to straight porn because I am attracted to men but not to women. 

Okay yeah i understand this one.

[Linda_jj]

26 minutes ago, firewallflower said:

I think one of the challenges here is this idea that "heterosexual people" as a collective are assumed to feel a certain way. Obviously, heterosexual people are generally interested in having sex with the opposite gender/sex and not interested in having sex with the same gender/sex (okay, there were way too many uses of the word "sex" in that sentence ), and it seems likely that, for people who watch porn, those interests and preferences would correlate with interests and preferences in porn. But that's not necessarily the case for all heterosexuals. Some might be actively repulsed by non-hetero stuff. Some might just find it boring. Some may even actively enjoy watching non-hetero stuff, just not want to engage in it themselves. Some might not like any porn, period.

 

Presumptively asexual here, and I personally find the idea of all porn (I say "idea" because I've never actually tried watching any, nor do I intend to do so) relatively "disgusting" (at the least, quite unattractive) in and of itself, gender notwithstanding. I daresay you could call it a "turnoff" for me. But obviously, not all asexuals feel the same way I do—there are all kinds of feelings on it that could be represented in the ace community, ranging through enjoyment, disinterest, repulsion, and undoubtably including any number of different preferences in any number of dimensions (gender included).

 

As someone to whom sexual attraction and porn are pretty much equally foreign, I won't try to explain why people do or don't have preferences (and really, there's not necessarily always a why at all), but I would imagine that interests and preferences in porn can probably be just as diverse among heterosexuals as among asexuals. So before even tackling the question of whether heterosexuals feel the same way as asexuals about something, I'd be wary of assuming heterosexual people feel the same as each other.

Hmm...well I'm asexual and i never wanna have sex but watching porn helps me for masturbation and releasing sexual tension and i really don't care about gender (but a girl should be involved in the porn because i need to relate by someone with same sex in the porn as those sex acts are provocative till i can relate myself to that girl!)

Yet I'm confused. If sexual attraction and the gender of the one who you want to sleep with determines your sexual gender preference then why some of those asexuals who like porn but don't like to have sex, have sexual gender preference while they don't even experience sexual attraction.

 

I mean i think sexual attraction comes with sexual gender preference and lack of sexual attraction comes with lack of sexual gender preference!

[everywhere and nowhere]

I absolutely agree with @firewallflower. "Straight people" are not a monolith and may have different preferences. Given my view that sexuality is never entirely innate, but heavily influenced by sociocultural factors, I of course also believe that porn preferences do have a sociocultural aspect. Look how common it is for straight men to enjoy lesbian, or rather "lesbian" porn. This by itself proves that these preferences don't have to correlate with orientation. Gay sex is widely believed to be particularly disgusting, but it's about much more than porn - "esthetic homophobia" is a political, not esthetic phenomenon, which tries to deny some people their rights based on how they supposedly have "ugly" sex. This is how it is used: people with such views love describing gay sex in suspiciously vivid details to used the supposedly obvious repulsiveness of gay sex to deny gays (and by extension also lesbians) rights which have nothing to do with porn or public sex, such as the right to marry.

 

On the other hand (I feel even more inclined to write about because, to be honest, that's what I expected from the title), if we leave the topic of porn and instead consider feelings about having sex with a person of a particular gender... then yes, I think that there actually is some level of equivalence between "a straight person's feelings about having sex with a person of the same sex" and "an asexual person's feelings about having sex with any person" (and, also, "a gay person's feelings about having sex with a person of a different sex"). Sure, asexuals can have different feelings about sex: some are sex-indifferent, some sex-averse... But straight people's feelings about having gay sex aren't monolithic either: there is a sizeable minority of straight people who are actively curious about gay sex. Some may reconsider their identification if they try it and discover that they like it (which is, by the way, mentioned in my favorite piece of erotica: the protagonist realises that he finds men attractive, but has always thought of himself as straight. He chooses to use the opportunity and in the end decides that he is gay after all, that he simply didn't admit it to himself earlier), some may still identify as straight, but enjoy having "buddy sex" (which is why a category such as "MSM", which is broader than jut "gay men", is needed).

But well, the most common stereotype is that a typical straight person, particularly a man, would feel nauseated by the idea of trying gay sex. And this is also useful to keep in mind - insofar as we can still, sometimes, encounter the stereotype that "True Asexuals" should be merely sex-indifferent and if someone feels an active aversion towards personally having sex, it means that they Have A Problem instead. It was really refreshing to see in countered, on this forum, by exactly this stereotype of straight people's instinctive aversion to gay sex: something like "Really, how many straight people would be just 'indifferent' about having gay sex?". So, basically, it can be used to show that sex aversion may be natural for asexuals.  It shouldn't be used in an exclusive way because not all asexuals are sex-averse, but really: if asexuality is about "not wanting to have sex" (at least this is how a lot of aces prefer to define their feelings), than why should we be expected to try and enjoy something that we just don't want?

[Alawyn-Aebt]

27 minutes ago, Linda_jj said:

If sexual attraction and the gender of the one who you want to sleep with determines your sexual gender preference then why some of those asexuals who like porn but don't like to have sex, have sexual gender preference while they don't even experience sexual attraction.

I have no knowledge of porn, the entire concept is a bit bizarre to me, but people do have romantic preferences and other preferences that do not tie into ones want to have sex. I personally do not want to have sex with another male, the thought of putting my thing in their thing, or vice versa really holds no appeal, but rather disgust for me personally. For a female it would be a little different, the thought of putting my thing in their thing is a bit different, I don't have outright disgust to it but I do not feel any reason nor desire to really do it. I cannot explain it, but I think that reflects on my romantic preferences.

 

Everyone is different, a panromantic would probably not care, a biromantic would have a little more restrictions, a homoromantic would have a different idea on the subject than a heteromantic. An aromantic I have no idea how they would lay. I suspect that the romantic preference closely correlates with porn sexuality preference.

[letusdeleteouraccounts]

Let’s remember that being aroused by a person doesn’t mean you desire to have sexual relations with them, they just make you feel a type of way. Arousal and the ways we experience it don’t always correlate 100% with sexual orientation which is why some straight people watch gay porn and why some asexuals watch porn period along with preferences. Some things you just find more arousing to look at while others you may find a desire in to do the actual act

[Guest]

47 minutes ago, Linda_jj said:

Yet I'm confused. If sexual attraction and the gender of the one who you want to sleep with determines your sexual gender preference then why some of those asexuals who like porn but don't like to have sex, have sexual gender preference while they don't even experience sexual attraction.

That is how people preferences work. Sexual attraction does not determine your gender preferences. Many people have gender preferences on other aspects other then sexual attraction. Many things come into play. 

[R_1]

In some cases, some people will go for sexual literature. I find that far more of a turn-on because I easily get turned off by the sight of a man or woman. Not disgusted, just plain not interested.

[ryn2]

17 hours ago, firewallflower said:

I would imagine that interests and preferences in porn can probably be just as diverse among heterosexuals as among asexuals. So before even tackling the question of whether heterosexuals feel the same way as asexuals about something, I'd be wary of assuming heterosexual people feel the same as each other. 

In my discussions with straight and gay friends that has been my experience (that they have varied porn likes and dislikes).  Where I live there is a lot of societal pressure on men not to be gay, so those who enjoy “gay-like” pursuits of any sort - from “women’s” hobbies to male-on-male porn - are often reluctant to publicly divulge... but they are definitely out there.

[ryn2]

Sometimes people enjoy watching things they have no interest in doing, though.  I love watching Olympic skiing, sailing, and flamenco dancing... none of which remotely appeals to me from a doing it standpoint.  I don’t even wish I wanted to do any of them.  I do wish I could do ballet and snowboarding; watching them rekindles that wish (and some false optimism).  The two viewing experiences are different.

 

Same with some movies/series.  I enjoy watching Band of Brothers but have zero interest in personally engaging in close combat or in living in wartime conditions.

 

tl;dr maybe there are multiple reasons why we view and enjoy things?

[ryn2]

You can get a thrill from hearing music or watching someone land a skydive and yet not get one from doing either.  From what I understand those still stimulate the same brain areas as well.  Perhaps it’s more that everyone who enjoys those things has an active “sex-processing area” (which probably relates to libido) and the difference is more in terms of what activates it.

[ryn2]

That, and there’s a difference between physical arousal and enjoyment... I’ve seen a number of reports over the years indicating that people often still have a physical response to things (porn in general for people who don’t like it, gay porn for straight people, nonconsensual sexual assault, etc.) they do not enjoy.  That’s different from seeking those things out and considering them things you like.

[ryn2]

1 minute ago, Telecaster68 said:

That would mean neurons were only activated in a mirror situation, not the real thing. Which is odd.

I’m not sure that’s true.  Depending on why one enjoys porn/what one enjoys about it, the equivalent “real thing” could be voyeurism rather than personal participation.  Most people probably don’t have opportunities to test that out and see how it compares.

 

There may also be a difference in how people view porn.  For example, I only enjoy porn where I can’t self-insert.  I’ve heard others here say the opposite.

[ryn2]

46 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Fair points, but the point is the neuron activity is pre-conscious, so your conscious likes and dislikes don't coffee into it.

Understood.  I meant we may not be interpreting the electrochemical activity correctly (may be ascribing meaning or emotion to it that’s not really there).

 

Our bodies are “programmed” to respond to stimuli in a way that kept more of our ancestors alive.     Whether we find that reaction pleasant or unpleasant, the circumstances that encourage us to enjoy it more or less, etc., are much more complex and varied.

[ryn2]

3 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Autocorrect knows.

I just figured it was UK slang, lol.

[ryn2]

2 minutes ago, CBC said:

Ah, but wouldn't it be more likely to involve tea if it was U.K. slang?

It would, but “cotton to” isn’t all that logical so why should “coffee into” be?

[ryn2]

38 minutes ago, CBC said:

True.

 

Had to look that one up, btw. I had a vague guess because I've heard it before, but not in the sense that it's anything anyone in my life has used.

Exactly.  

[ryn2]

LOL, yes, I saw that as well.  I am used to “cotton to,” but not “cotton on to.”

[Guest]

On 4/25/2019 at 5:00 AM, Linda_jj said:

Well what many straight ppl claim is that gay porn is disgusting and a turn off....so idk if it's a homophobic reaction or it's actually normal!

Lots of straight women enjoy lesbian porn.

[ryn2]

12 minutes ago, CBC said:

I maintain there needs to be better lesbian porn.

I don’t enjoy lesbian porn but I have heard this same observation from every woman I know who does.  There’s a market opportunity out there.

[Grumpy Alien]

I’ve tried watching gay porn because I’m not interested in women’s bodies but I don’t think porn is ever sexy. It’s meant for gay men but I don’t think there’s any way they could present it to straight women to make it better for me. I just don’t like porn I guess. To each their own.