Hi, I’m new

[BaileNua]

Hi there,

 

I have never used a forum before and am nervous!

I’m 17 and I live in Ireland.

I think I’ve known that I’m asexual for two years now. I used to think I was demisexual but I had a conversation with a friend recently about people we know who have come out as bisexual and then later come out as gay. We talked about how maybe they hadn’t accepted themselves fully when they first came out and I ended up doing some self-reflecting. Anyway, I have been doing a lot of researching and have realised that I am hetero-romantic asexual. After seeing posts about so many childhood experiences that I can relate to it seems so obvious and I think I’ve actually always known but just haven’t acknowledged it. It’s been easy to ignore because I don’t really have time for relationships so have never addressed the fact that I actively don’t want them.

 

So, I haven’t come out yet. I don’t really feel the need to, to be honest. There is definitely one friend that I want to tell and maybe my sisters. It’s kind of hard where I live, it’s just a very judge-y area. Lots of people here don’t come out until they’re older, when they’ve moved to areas with more open-minded people. Also, I cringe at the thought of how I’d butcher explaining asexuality through my nerves. It’s just not something that people would understand where I live.

 

I still have a lot of figuring out to do, but it’s really nice to read these posts and be able to relate to them. Finally! It’s actually really weird to read about people’s experiences and be able to say “that happens to me!” 

 

So, I guess I’ll include a few things about myself:

- I play the French horn and it is a HUGE part of my life. 

- I also play the piano and guitar.

- I’m OBSESSED with The Big Bang Theory and anything else with Jim Parsons.

- I’m a huge Harry Potter fan, but I haven’t seen The Crimes of Grindelwald yet, so no spoilers please!

- I am an introvert, if you couldn’t tell from my nervous rambling. I can’t believe I was actually able to post this!

 

Thanks for reading, and Happy Easter! I hope you all indulged in chocolate, even if you don’t celebrate the holiday!

 

-BaileNua

[Pandalin]

Hi and welcome! 🍰🍰🍰

 

I’m an introvert too, and it was scary for me to post at first, but it’s getting easier. Everyone here is welcoming 😀

[Custard Cream]

Hello and welcome!  Cake? 🍰🍰😁

[Skeletonducky]

Hiya! Welcome to Aven! Cake? 🍰

P.s. go team introvert!

[NickyTannock]

Welcome to AVEN!

 

In my case, I realised that I'm Asexual in my early teens, around 14 when I started hearing sexual comments from my peers and in media and found that they bewildered me.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a French Horn Cake,

[Lichley]

Welcome!

 

I can definitely relate to not coming out to your parents. I tried and they shut me down before I got to it. It’s why I emphasise asking questions on their opinions of different identities before you come out to them just to check. Oof. 

 

It doesn’t stop you experessing yourself in different ways though. Ace rings are really good at making you feel supported, and since only aces or allies recognise them you can wear one and feel more connected without having to come out  

[BaileNua]

@Lichley Thank you! I think the only time I’ll consider coming out to my parents is if, when I’m older, they try to set me up with someone. And I’m definitely considering getting an ace ring, so thanks for the words of advice!