Res22 Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Hi everyone! I'm a Spanish speaker so surely my grammar isn't very good at all, I hope it will be clear enough to be understood. I'm coming here mostly with questions and doubts, as I think most of us are... So here is my story (in some places I believe that there is too much information... sorry!): I'm a 32 years old guy who likes women. That may be the end of the story and it was... until I figured out some things about myself. Since my teenage years I found pornography rather disgusting, and didn't understand the urge for masturbation, until I found things to masturbate which are somewhat kinky but are not "sex". The "gynecological" pictures of women that my friends found hot were disgusting to me, and I find female naked body not "as hot" as the same woman with clothes on. On one time I was kissing and having fun with a girl, but was rather nervous with the fact that I should have sex with her. We didn't had sex that night, I when we meet again I felt that I owed that to her, but I really didn't wanted that much to do it. When we finally did it wasn't that much, and I was happier with the idea of finally having sex (I was in my early tweinties so it was a bit late) than with the sex itself. Now with my girlfriend we can spend long times without sex and it is not a problem, we even enjoy other forms of physical contact. I do get aroused and masturbate or sometimes she even masturbates me in a somewhat soft way and I enjoy it. I also masturbate her but only for her enjoyment. When we do have sex is mostly "sensual" and not rough at all, and I like it but mostly because I can please her, but for me is not so much better than masturbation. Also, the very idea of anal disgustes my a lot. My fantasies are kinky but there is not sex in them. I'm not sure if I could go my entire life without sex, but I'm totally sure that I need and enjoy sex a lot less than most other people. Can I ask you for some guidance, as I like women and my body reacts to them but also I feel somewhat far from the common heterisexual men? Thank you very much!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 ¡Bienvenido a AVEN! I won’t label you but based on what you wrote you may be asexual. I also find women beautiful (aesthetic attraction) and I get crushes on women (romantic attraction). I’m sex-positive so I do have sex, but I find it rather boring. I always had no interest in porn but knew I liked women so thought I was heterosexual. In my case I’ve determined I’m asexual. Entiendo tu inglés perfectamente pero si prefieres hablar español aquí estamos: Link to post Share on other sites
Iam9man Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Here’s a thread I found very helpful: Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Welcome! Well libido is different from sexual attraction, so asexuals can still get aroused and have non-sexual kinks as well as non-sexual types of attraction. Maybe this sketch comic could help? https://www.deviantart.com/secondlina/art/Sketchcomic-types-of-Attraction-298804729 Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 @Res22 Welcome to AVEN! You could be a Heteroromantic Asexual. Asexuality is not a lack of libido, but a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone. Meaning if what you're feeling doesn't lead to the desire to have sex with the person you're feeling it towards, then it's not Sexual Attraction, even if it is an attraction or arousal. But there are other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction. There's Romantic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone. There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like kissing or cuddling. There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty. There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a deep friendship with someone. And more. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Waterfall Cake, Link to post Share on other sites
Res22 Posted April 21, 2019 Author Share Posted April 21, 2019 Thank you very much for all your answers! It seems that I should figure out if I feel sensual or sexual attraction, but I believe that I'm in the asexual spectrum Link to post Share on other sites
Pandalin Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 Hi and welcome! 🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
Res22 Posted April 23, 2019 Author Share Posted April 23, 2019 On 4/21/2019 at 7:20 AM, Iam9man said: Here’s a thread I found very helpful: Gracias! That thread was really helpful, and while I thought myself within the asexual spectrum, the phrase 'not every sexual person likes every kind of sexual contact' deeply resonated to me. I'm, at least today and after reading many arguments, pretty convinced of not being an asexual. Thank for your help and guidance! Link to post Share on other sites
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