Cayllin Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Hi everyone. I've kind of been lurking here and there, reading posts and such. I think I'm finally ready to open up a little. I'm bi. And I'm asexual, I think, but I'm confused about it and still learning what I can. I don't like sex. I don't mind reading about it, or watching it. It's the physical act that doesn't sit well with me. It's to the point where it causes me a lot of anxiety and distress...it's hard because I'm married and he has no idea. Those nights are very hard for me, thinking about it right now is causing me to freak out a little. I have no idea how to tell him. I wish I would have figured this out about myself years ago, but I didn't. I'm also not a fan of being intimate, like touching and kissing. Non-intimate hugs I'm ok with. Is that weird? I feel weird, because I love romances and the idea of them, the idea of sex and falling in love. I don't have a deep connection with anyone, and I got married more out of loneliness, and now I feel even more lonely. I thought maybe that would help me, but it really hasn't. Sorry, I don't mean to be a drag. Basically I'm trying to figure myself out and trying to figure out how to tell my husband that I don't want to have sex with him, ever. I'm not very good at communicating. On the bright side of things, I love reading. Reading is my life, and if this was a depression forum, I'd probably tell you books are what's keeping me going. In fact, I'm getting a tattoo soon, depicting that love of books. I love dogs, and to be honest, the only cuddles and kisses I like come from dogs, or cats, or any animal in general. I love music and I go to multiple concerts a year. Music and books are my life and without them, I don't know where I would be. I also love gaming, so if anyone is into that, I wouldn't mind finding people to play with. I'm pretty much a WoW nerd I'm very introverted and antisocial, and I suck at communicating. I don't really have friends. It's very hard for me to put myself out there. Anyway, I'm here to try to learn more about myself, and maybe make some friends. I figure this is a safe place to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Welcome, I think you'll find a lot of book lovers around. I have a tattoo celebrating my love for Moby Dick, my all time favorite novel! I guess I branded myself as a book nerd forever!😁 But here's some cake as a welcome gift🎂🎂🎂! Link to post Share on other sites
Pandalin Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Hi and welcome! 🍰🍰🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Welcome! I love books and video games, although as much as I love video games I’m not very good at them Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 @manandaj Welcome to AVEN! You could be a Biromantic Asexual, Asexuality is a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone. Meaning if what you're feeling doesn't lead to the desire to have sex with the person you're feeling it towards, then it's not Sexual Attraction, even if it is an attraction or arousal. But there are other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction. There's Romantic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone. There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like kissing or cuddling. There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty. There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a deep friendship with someone. And more. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Sleeping Puppy In A Slipper Cake, Link to post Share on other sites
Cayllin Posted April 22, 2019 Author Share Posted April 22, 2019 Thank you all That dog cake is too cute to eat haha. My tattoo is going to have this quote "I read like the ink from the book is oxygen and I'm gasping for breath" and I'm going to have books or ink splatters or something. I'm talking to an artist tomorrow. I love gaming, but I'm not very good either. It's just a great way to relax sometimes. Biromantic asexual sounds like something I might be. I'm still figuring things out. I think I might fit into a few different categories, but it's so hard to label myself as anything when I'm not really sure about who I am anymore. I know I'm attracted to people, but the sex part isn't something I'm interested in. In my past relationships, it's been the same. Sex was just something I thought I had to do, something expected of me, and it was really hard for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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