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HistoryNerd

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HistoryNerd

Hi!

 

Not going to lie, I’m not exactly sure what to say...

 

I guess this is something I’ve been thinking about for quite a while. I’ve always been uncomfortable to the point of disgust when my friends talk about sex — relatively graphically too. I don’t have a problem with it, as such, but the thought of engaging in it myself makes me feel awkward. I’m not one for physical affection either — I hardly ever hug my friends, unless I haven’t seen them for a long time.

 

I’ve been in one relationship before and it lasted for more than a year. He wanted to get more intimate (like past kissing and cuddling) with me, but I was never interested. At the time, I just assumed this was because I was young and didn’t feel ready emotionally, but as I’ve got older, I’ve realised that I just have no interest in pursuing a physical relationship to that level. I’ve definitely experienced romantic attraction, but not sexual; and I’ve personally never seen why some people perceive sex to be the be all or end all of relationships. To each their own, I suppose.

 

I guess I’m glad to know that I’m not insane, that not feeling the intense sexual attraction towards people that my friends describe is normal and that it’s not going to be a matter of “waiting for the right person,” like so many have suggested to me.

 

Edit: Thank you for taking the time to read through that essay! I hope you’re having a lovely day or night, wherever you may be!

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Hi HistoryNerd! Welcome! Sounds like you've had experiences that a lot of people can identify with - you're not alone out there and it's not the case that anything's wrong with you just for not experiencing the world exactly how other people do. :)

 

I had a kind of similar experience with a long-term relationship - at first I thought when it came to physical stuff "this is a bit weird, but maybe it's just the newness! I'm sure I'll get the full effect of what's happening when the shock wears off and I get used to it ..." (and then it didn't xD.)

 

Being on here's definitely helped me get more concrete ideas about what I do want from a relationship outside of what's culturally expected and what's going to be right for me. Hope you can find something similar!

 

Woo! Welcome to Aven! Here's some 🍰 

 

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NickyTannock

@HistoryNerd Welcome to AVEN!

 

In my case, I've never had or desired either sex or a romantic relationship.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Gravity Defying History of Civilisation Cake,

8888103274_6c1895b444_o.jpg

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Welcome! How about another history themed cake? :) 

IMG_0532.JPG

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