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How come?


4EverAceandAlone

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4EverAceandAlone

How come it's so hard to sometimes explain asexuality sometimes?

 

I don't know why it can be hard trying to explain it to coworkers or family. I've met people before who were a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and they were quite understanding and open with it. Though it's not everyday older folks sometimes get or understand terms relating to the community when they never really were in involved with the topic.

Its quite uncomforting to hear or see the reactions from people when I tell them I wish to stay single and that I don't hold attraction towards anybody- that's when the question comes in to play where it really gets awkward: so are you straight?

 

Well, no, technically I'm not because I don't have attractions towards males. But you can't really consider me a lesbian either. It's awkward telling people that because they always give that look where they're rather confused than understanding. And it just leaves everything even more nerve racking than before.

 

Sometimes it's hard explaining this to people who have never heard of the term. Probably why I usually don't speak up about it. Has anyone else experienced something similar to this?

 

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RosePhoenix

Yup, for sure. My experience is either ppl totally get it (ppl who have heard of Asexuality before, or may even be ace themsleves) or they get really uncomfortable and confused and even shocked and dont believe me or take me seriously. I HATE that, ppl not taking me seriously, telling me I need a couple more years to "mature". like hell. So I have just tried to avoid talking about it as much as possible. sigh. Relationships come up way too often in conversation though. :/

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Yes, definitely. I’ve settled on a fairly logical detailed explanation OR a one-liner to describe asexuality, depending on the person. I use the first option for people who genuinely seem to take an interest and the second option for anyone else. I also have a third option which is to not explain it, reserved for idiots at the pub.

 

I wrote this to try to explain asexuality logically. You’re welcome to use it if you find any of it helpful:

 

 

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It's even harder to explain to people how one can be ace and also gay/bi/pan etc. because of split attraction.

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It's not hard. I don't want/seek/desire partnered sexual activities, ever. See? That was easy :D

 

What makes it hard is all that lumping of regular sexual behaviour in with asexuality. Having three bazillion "subcategories", of which none actually affect the subject at hand. It's difficult because we (not we as a community, but we as people in general) make it difficult. To me, "I fucking hate pineapples" is at the same level of difficulty to explain as "I don't want sex". So there's that. What also makes it difficult is that understanding the concept "I don't want X" is one thing, but actually wrapping your head around it is another. Sex is a vital part of many people's lives, so it'll naturally be hard for them to understand why it doen't mean jack shit to asexual people.

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4EverAceandAlone
17 hours ago, Homer said:

It's not hard. I don't want/seek/desire partnered sexual activities, ever. See? That was easy :D

 

What makes it hard is all that lumping of regular sexual behaviour in with asexuality. Having three bazillion "subcategories", of which none actually affect the subject at hand. It's difficult because we (not we as a community, but we as people in general) make it difficult. To me, "I fucking hate pineapples" is at the same level of difficulty to explain as "I don't want sex". So there's that. What also makes it difficult is that understanding the concept "I don't want X" is one thing, but actually wrapping your head around it is another. Sex is a vital part of many people's lives, so it'll naturally be hard for them to understand why it doen't mean jack shit to asexual people.

Exactly. It's just the questions they ask can sometimes make it awkward or make them grow quiet. Sometimes I don't know why relationships romantically mean so much to people- they act like they'd die without an SO XD It goes both ways sort of, no?

Kind of like how I don't understand why anyone would want to be in a relationship, let alone have feelings or sexual attractions

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