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I have a squish??


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Hello! I'm new to AVEN and identifying as an asexual aromantic and I've come across the word "squish" and I think I have one, but I'm not sure. 

 

I live in a country where I don't speak the native language and have made several friends with others like me, we tend to bond over our foreignerness and stick together. But one friend stands out more than the others. I use to live right next to her and for convenience sake, we would hang out every evening after work and get dinner together. It was easy because eating out is cheaper here than cooking, which is an activity we both hate. As we got to know each other more, we found we had many things in common and we created a really strong bond. After two years of this, we both moved to another city but now we live 2 hours from each other. I thought our friendship would suffer, but it hasn't. We talk throughout the day and meet up every weekend, even if its just to watch anime or hangout at cafes for hours. My grandma actually thought she was my girlfriend and when I told my friend this, she said we are basically platonic girlfriends as we go out together for holidays and travel together.  I really enjoy hanging out with her and will admit I get jealous if she makes plans with others and does't meet with me or include me. I know I don't feel romantic feelings for her, but when I read what I squish was, I thought this might apply. 

 

I haven't come out to her because I am a little afraid of her reaction, I have brought up different sexuality before and she said she is a supporter but doesn't like all the different labels and thinks its a bit excessive. I replied that labels, while can be used against us, can be of a comfort to some. I know I always felt different and weird until I found mine, and now just thinking that their are others and I have a name for what I am brings me great acceptance and comfort. I am also hesitant because I made the comment one time that our relationship was the closet to having a S.O. as I wanted and she replied, "thats sad". 

 

I don't know, I am still learning the different aspects of myself and the terms here, so maybe this isn't what a squish means but I was confused and thought I would just ask to see what yall thought as it won't leave my brain. In the end, it doesn't really matter because it wouldn't lead to anything  (like a QPR? I still don't understand that very well as well so if anyone wants to comment more about that I will be grateful) 

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Katarina Gertje

I think this could 100% be a squish. To me, a squish has always been when I feel incredibly deeply towards a friend, but not in a romantic way. It could also be when there's someone I don't know that well, but I already really want to be their friend. Like a squish at first sight. I'm sorry that you feel really hesitant coming out to her, and the comment she made when you mentioned how you felt about your relationship with her. Really, the definition of a squish is a platonic crush, so if you think that's what you have, it probably is.

 

It's okay to still be questioning yourself, and it's great that you're reaching out to get answers. I hope others reply to this and help you through your journey. I hope this helped a little! 

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@Katarina GertjeAnd I disagree lol

 

Squish is having a friendship goal in mind; the impulse to further know someone, and once the goal is reached the squish goes away. You've been friends for 2 years, you're likely past that. What you're describing sounds like a queerplatonic relationship at the very least. Jelousey can be romantic or platonic. Romantic attraction isn't Romeo and Juliet, it can be low key and doesn't have to involve sex or making out. Your friend not feeling romantically doesn't mean you don't either. With her "that's sad" reply, I think she doesn't feel as strongly about the relationship as you do.

 

I have a thread on QPRs, link

However, describing the difference between a low-key crush is hard. All romantic attraction is is an emotion, it doesn't require any physical actions; not holding hands, not gazing at each other, not pet names, nothing.

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11 hours ago, Star Bit said:

@Katarina GertjeAnd I disagree lol

 

Squish is having a friendship goal in mind; the impulse to further know someone, and once the goal is reached the squish goes away. You've been friends for 2 years, you're likely past that. What you're describing sounds like a queerplatonic relationship at the very least. Jelousey can be romantic or platonic. Romantic attraction isn't Romeo and Juliet, it can be low key and doesn't have to involve sex or making out. Your friend not feeling romantically doesn't mean you don't either. With her "that's sad" reply, I think she doesn't feel as strongly about the relationship as you do.

 

I have a thread on QPRs, link

However, describing the difference between a low-key crush is hard. All romantic attraction is is an emotion, it doesn't require any physical actions; not holding hands, not gazing at each other, not pet names, nothing.

Thank you for the information, I'll definitely check out that link.

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