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i feel like my mental issues are affecting my romantic orientation (TW for depression/anxiety)


a mean lad

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hey yall, i'm new here and i don't know where the best place is for this but i want to know if anyone else feels the same.

i've been questioning if i'm on the aro spectrum for a while now but i feel like my orientation (or lack of defining myself) has something to do with my mental health.

i've been struggling with depression and anxiety since i was 12 and i'm 19 now, and when everything started, my romantic attraction went away, i think. i remember what crushes feel like and how they influenced me, but i haven't felt that way in a long time.and the whole thing is making me feel unlovable. i can't picture anyone being attracted to me because of it, and that makes me feel as though maybe i don't experience romantic attraction because i can't see myself as a good partner?

does anyone else feel this way? or has experienced this kind of thing?

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@a mean lad I feel the exact same way. I’ve dealt with similar issues for the past 16 years, and I always felt like I wasn’t worthy of being with someone because I didn’t have my crap together. I always felt like (and still do feel that) this is my burden, and I don’t want anyone else to have to deal with it. I hide my issues from my family, so while they’ve known about the ED in the past, they don’t know it’s still an issue as well as the depression and anxiety. I always felt like anyone I was in a relationship deserved to know what is going on, but I don’t want to bring them down with me, you know?

 

For a long time, I thought that was the reason I was afraid of being in a relationship. I’ve recently realized there is the asexual component in addition to the above. But now that I know that, have learned that there are other asexual people, and that I could potentially find someone to have a relationship with who is also asexual, the thought of having a relationship seems less scary. 

 

A lot lot of people have mental health issues. It doesn’t mean you are unlovable. You’re worthy of love just like anyone else. Sure, your brain has different wiring and you have things to sort out, but that doesn’t make you less than. 

 

I dint know know if any of that makes sense, but I hope it helps you know you’re not alone ❤️

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