Samule Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 I don't exactly know if I'm in the right place here or more of a confused visitor, but I'll say hello anyway. I do feel sexual attraction to others and in the right circumstances enjoy physical intimacy, but apparently not sex. I'm in a long term relationship. My partner has always had quite a low sex drive but doesn't want to quit sex altogether. I've only suggested it tentatively and only recently considered I might actually be asexual, though there have been signs for a while. Strangely enough I don't have any real problems with the physical acts other than a lack of enjoyment and, increasingly, a sense of reluctance and dread. I'm hoping to work something out that feels authentic and valid all round. It's kind of early days with that. Anyway, I could definitely write an essay but will leave it there for now. Thanks for reading! Link to post Share on other sites
Pandalin Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Hi and welcome! 🍰🍰🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Hello and welcome! Cake? 🍰🍰🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
Samule Posted April 14, 2019 Author Share Posted April 14, 2019 Oh yes please! Thanks 🐻 Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 @Samule Welcome to AVEN! You could be Asexual if you mean Arousal when you say that you experience Sexual Attraction. Asexuality is not a lack of libido, but a lack of Sexual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone. Meaning if what you're feeling doesn't lead to the desire to have sex with the person you're feeling it towards, then it's not Sexual Attraction, even if it is an attraction or arousal. But there are other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction. There's Romantic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone. There's Sensual Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like kissing or cuddling. There's Aesthetic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty. There's Platonic Attraction, which I define as leading to the desire to have a deep friendship with someone. And more. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Daffy Duck Cake, Link to post Share on other sites
Samule Posted April 14, 2019 Author Share Posted April 14, 2019 Thanks Michael, both cake and reply were well considered and much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Welcome! As Micheal has said, there is a difference between libido and sexual attraction. As well as this there is a difference between sexual attraction and other types of attraction like romantic, sensual and aesthetic. The link below is to a sketchcomic I think explains it very well https://www.deviantart.com/secondlina/art/Sketchcomic-types-of-Attraction-298804729 Link to post Share on other sites
Samule Posted April 15, 2019 Author Share Posted April 15, 2019 Thank you Lichley. It definitely feels like I might be in the right place here Link to post Share on other sites
Katarina Gertje Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Hey! Welcome to cake land! Enjoy your time exploring here! Link to post Share on other sites
Samule Posted April 16, 2019 Author Share Posted April 16, 2019 Thanks Katarina, that's one serious cake! I'll need to share it with the rest of the forum 😇 Link to post Share on other sites
JohnQn Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 So, you're demisexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Samule Posted April 17, 2019 Author Share Posted April 17, 2019 18 hours ago, JohnQn said: So, you're demisexual? I don't think so, otherwise the lack of enjoyment and increasing feelings of reluctance and dread would be hard to account for. Many of the terms on this forum are completely new to me and I'm not really looking for one in particular to identify myself with at this stage. So far I've found a lot of stuff that's useful, or potentially useful, and some posts that are genuinely inspiring in how insightful and truthful they are. Link to post Share on other sites
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