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I’m aromantic, do I feel love for my parents?


Facebonker

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This might be a weird and naive question, but as an aroace, do I experience love for my parents and sibling? Since I have the classic problem of not knowing what love feels like, it’s a struggle for me to be able to answer my own questions about it. When I think about my family, I don’t really feel anything different or remarkable, they are like classmates that I stay with for my whole life. I don’t have a warm feeling when thinking about them, or have any special connections to them — other than my obvious relation. So I guess I was just looking for an outside opinion. Cause tbh I don’t think of them as anyone special, it’s always been like they are some people that I happen to live with. 

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Because I don’t know you, I cannot tell you whether or not you love your family. However, your romantic orientation is probably not the reason. There are many different forms of love that one can experience, and each one is different. The love one feels for their partner would be described as romantic, but the love one feels for a close friend is platonic. Aromanticism does not mean you feel no love period, it simply means that you don’t experience romantic attraction.

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TheWanderingDuck

Hey @Facebonker I have been trying to figure out if I feel love for my family as well, particularly my mother. I have the same problem of not always knowing what love is and I kind of always felt the same about my family, like they are just people I live with. I don't think being aroace is the reason you may not know if you feel love towards your parents, but maybe your lack of understanding what it means to feel love is the reason you are aro. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I think that's part of the reason I'm aro-ish. Just know you're not alone.

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Hmm... you feel what you feel. If your family doesn't feel important or special to you, then it is what is. I don't think there is much to analyse there. Do you really feel that way though? Did you think it through? Like if they were to vanish right now (kinda like in Home Alone haha) wouldn't you come to miss them or realise the void? Do you not have a close bond w one of your sibling or can't you turn to your mom or dad for some advices or just spend time with them and enjoy it? Do they not support you in any way?

 

I personally am an aroace and a solo person but I always like to spend time with my family. Well, ok, always is too much but I love my family in a certain way and I would be very sad maybe even suicidal if I was to lose my parents and my siblings because they've always been around and therefore are a part of my life. I believe that being connected to people by blood and by name is important. It's a link that can never be broken. I wouldn't be who I was today if it wasn't for them. It wasn't the best but even during the tough time we could stick together ^^

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Lol I honestly thought it was just me being weird in that I was questioning if what I feel towards my family is love.  To me, they're just people I'm close to. Closer than my friends, but this "closeness" doesn't really have a feeling attached to it. I couldn't live with myself if they got injured or died. I know I would be beside myself with worry. So I struggle with putting a feeling I experience to the word "love".

 

But being aro and ace definitely still means you're capable of loving people! Platonic love is a thing, like familial love. Love isn't restricted to romantic or sexual or else no one would really love their kids, or as you mentioned, their siblings or parents. 

Being incapable of love would be sympomatic of another issue.

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