Not sure what my romantic orientation is

[IcyZorua]

All right, I'm going to start from the beginning.

when I was in elementary school, I had two crushes, both on girls, that I don't know if they were platonic or not. I thought both of these girls were pretty and I wanted them to be my friends.  (At separate times.)

fast forward to junior high and early high school, I had a couple crushes on guys, one of them very intense and on a stranger, the other one comparable to a slow burn-- but more like a mild sunburn that's better by the next day. I realized I was ace and decided on the label heteromantic.

then recently, I've been having thoughts about my best friend. I dreamed that she bought me an incredible Christmas gift, and we ended up slow dancing together. I don't quite understand this, but during a school dance I ended up dancing with a couple girls to try it out, and it was kind of nice, and I wanted to do it more. I've pretty much set aside labels for my romantic orientation while I decide, but would appreciate help in figuring it out.

[TrippleL]

I relate to what you wrote and I identify as biromantic.

 

I personally have a preference, but I’ve definitely had crushes on guys & girls.

 

I also relate to your examples of different types; eg intense/slow burn/just enjoying a slow dance 🙂

 

Good luck working this through and if you’ve got any questions I’m happy to chat here or via PM 🙂

[IcyZorua]

9 hours ago, TrippleL said:

 

I relate to what you wrote and I identify as biromantic.

 

I personally have a preference, but I’ve definitely had crushes on guys & girls.

 

I feel like I have a preference for girls, since I think they're more aesthetically pleasing, and I can more easily imagine myself in a lasting relationship with another girl. The thing I'm kind of doubting myself on is whether I can identify as bi if my major crush has been on a guy, and it's hard to tell the difference between romantic and platonic feelings.

[TrippleL]

I also have a preference for girls 🙂

 

I can’t tell you what label to use but I would not worry about whether the feelings are strong enough or not; if you think you’ve ever been aesthetically or romantically attracted to girls & boys then you can consider yourself bi, if you want to.

 

If it helps I only considered myself bi after I had a full on crush on a guy. I’d had many crushes on girls, and only found some guys aesthetically attractive, and felt “something” more for one guy (which in retrospect were romantic feelings, they just didn’t “compute” at the time). Once I had a full on heart pounding romantic crush I adopted the bi label, but looking back, if I’d been honest with myself I could have adopted it sooner 🙂

 

I guess that doesn’t answer your question but maybe it’ll help you work this through. Take your time, no need to rush into any label 🙂