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Quick Question About Labels


Akmenos

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I’m a trans guy, but I haven’t been able to physically transition yet. (Unless cutting my hair short counts...) So my body is still 100% female. I’m romantically attracted to another trans guy, who has no plans on changing his body. (Which is fine) He doesn’t act very masculine either (which is fine, too). Should I call myself homoromantic, because I’m attracted to the same gender (both males), or heteroromantic, because I’m a biological female attracted to a guy? I don’t really feel romantic attraction until I feel close to that person, so would demiromantic just make things easier? It’s not really an urgent problem, just wondering. Thanks for reading!

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You're not heteroromantic because you're both trans men.

You're probably homoromantic, maybe homo-demi-romantic.

Do you only have crushes on other men? Or do you have crushes on other people as well?

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15 minutes ago, Flute16 said:

You're not heteroromantic because you're both trans men.

You're probably homoromantic, maybe homo-demi-romantic.

Do you only have crushes on other men? Or do you have crushes on other people as well?

No, I’ve never had crushes on any other guys. I’ve had crushes on my female friends in the past, but they were never serious. 

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Anthracite_Impreza

It goes by gender, not sex, so you would be homoromantic. You could add demi- as a prefix if you wanted to.

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2 hours ago, KrystalLost said:

sexualities correspond with your gender, not biology.

SEXuality corresponds with your physical SEX. Your biology. Hence HomoSEXuality, HeteroSEXuality, and BiSEXuality.

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Anthracite_Impreza
2 minutes ago, Evil said:

SEXuality corresponds with your physical SEX. Your biology. Hence HomoSEXuality, HeteroSEXuality, and BiSEXuality.

The sexuality in these words indicates that you have sexual desires to that demographic, same as homo-romantic indicates romantic desires.

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2 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

The sexuality in these words indicates that you have sexual desires to that demographic, same as homo-romantic indicates romantic desires.

Certainly, there are romantic orientations but this was mentioning sexuality specifically.

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Anthracite_Impreza
1 minute ago, Evil said:

Certainly, there are romantic orientations but this was mentioning sexuality specifically.

Yes, and the sex in sexuality doesn't refer to the body of the bearer, but to the fact they are sexually interested in X gender(s).

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4 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Yes, and the sex in sexuality doesn't refer to the body of the bearer, but to the fact they are sexually interested in X gender(s).

You and I will thankfully never agree. It would be a depressing waste of my medical training. I won't bother to reply to you again.

 

Sexuality refers to a sexual person's attraction to a specific biological sex, that glorious thing that is determined at the moment of conception. Male + Male. Female + Female. Male + Female. Same-sex attraction. Opposite-sex attraction. Very standard. Nothing to do with "gender" or how one identifies.

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firewallflower

Somewhat ironically, if I'm reading this right (apologies if I'm not, and feel free to correct me I'm wrong!), it seems that homoromantic would be an accurate descriptor in your case regardless of whether one takes the position that sexual orientation is determined by biologically assigned sex or gender identity. If you both identify as men, then it's same-gender attraction; and if you are both biologically female, then it's same-sex attraction. So if my understanding is correct, then homo- would seem to be the right prefix (modified with demi-, if you see fit, as in demihomoromantic, though that does begin to be quite a mouthful :P) in either case.

 

However, in the end I'd say to go with what makes you most comfortable. If a given label feels personally wrong, don't identify as it—and if you don't feel strongly about it, you're also in no way obligated to label yourself at all unless you desire. As I see it, there are two purposes of labels: a) Helping one feel more comfortable/accepting of oneself/one's orientation and b) Communicating one's orientation more efficiently to others. If neither of those is an issue (that is, you're already doing fine with self-acceptance, and either you don't feel the need to describe your orientation to others or you can do so comfortable with other words), then to my mind, it's really not particularly important. :)

 

Edit: The above is based on your original post. On reading the further replies, however (sorry, should have done that first!), I see that you've also experienced attraction to females. In that case, it would seem that biromantic (or perhaps panromantic) could be an applicable label if coming from the sexuality-is-based-on-gender position, but if basing the terminology on biological sex, then homoromantic could still be the case. Either way, however, my second paragraph remains relevant. :cake:

 

(Also, on a side note @Evil: I'm not particularly interested in debating here, but just for the sake of understanding where you're coming from—how would you interpret terminology in relation to an individual who is [for instance] attracted to biological males and females alike, but exclusively to female-identifying individuals [regardless of whether these individuals' gender identity corresponds to their biology or not]?)

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@firewallflower Wow! Thank you so much for that through, well-written response! I think I’ll go by demiromantic, because I tend to only have crushes on people I’m already close friends with. I don’t mind the thought of dating a biological male, as long as we were friends before. I just don’t have a lot of biological male friends, so that’s probably why I’ve never had crushes on guys before. 😅 Also, I agree with your viewpoint on labels. My need for a label isn’t that serious. It’s mainly for communicating my orientation to others.

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13 hours ago, firewallflower said:

(Also, on a side note @Evil: I'm not particularly interested in debating here, but just for the sake of understanding where you're coming from—how would you interpret terminology in relation to an individual who is [for instance] attracted to biological males and females alike, but exclusively to female-identifying individuals [regardless of whether these individuals' gender identity corresponds to their biology or not]?)

No debate is fine, we can all have our own opinions without having to fight over it.

 

I don't generally deal with "gender identities" or labels unless it is in medical terms. That said, if I had to take a stab at labeling this example 'Tumblr style' then I would say Pansexual or Panromantic depending on further details (ftr, before the 'sex' in pansexual is mentioned I consider this term to be bullshit - personal opinion).

 

Bisexual would be relating to attraction to both sexes, ones that do not self identify out of their natural biology.

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firewallflower
2 hours ago, Evil said:

No debate is fine, we can all have our own opinions without having to fight over it.

 

I don't generally deal with "gender identities" or labels unless it is in medical terms. That said, if I had to take a stab at labeling this example 'Tumblr style' then I would say Pansexual or Panromantic depending on further details (ftr, before the 'sex' in pansexual is mentioned I consider this term to be bullshit - personal opinion).

 

Bisexual would be relating to attraction to both sexes, ones that do not self identify out of their natural biology.

I see. Thank you for your response!

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48 minutes ago, firewallflower said:

I see. Thank you for your response!

You are welcome.

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