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Is it wrong to want to stay a virgin forever?


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Chocolatastic AroAce
6 hours ago, KeKatCookie said:

There's this great thing called adoption, though. You can still have a family even if you're a virgin. 

Yes for people who want children  adoption is an option.  I do not want any which is why being a virgin never bothered me. Hence my post about people assuming having children is my only goal.

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  • 1 month later...
German User

Just to get my opinion out.

Im a 20 year old guy and even though im in the classical sense unatractive I guess just thanks to my character an self confidence I could have sex if I wanted. But I don't. Other guys preassure me, think I must be desperate, think I'm "In denial" because I am "Just an ugly nerd" but let's face it. I am way more confident then the majority of my peers and I am still aversed to the pursuit of sex. I'm not repulsed, I just don't see the appeal.

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Nope. I almost did. I wish I would've never gotten married. I only had "sex" because of that. I don't like sex but it's more important to men that it is to women. I don't care about sex. I care more about spirituality and respect. I wish I would've stuck to my standards and I wouldn't be experiencing all this persecution. I would be much happier alone. I am much happier alone. But in my religious community it's only acceptable to cuddle with a man if he's your husband. So I got married so I could experience that without being excommunicated from my congregation. And then we we did have sex it wasn't even good. I didn't enjoy it and can live witjout it for the rest of my life. I hate sex. Or maybe I just hate my ex husband...

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verymelancholic

I don't think so. Humans have put sex on a pedestal so it becomes over-hyped and underwhelming. Most people end up losing it anyway but there isn't anything inherently wrong with staying a virgin. Most aces are too busy with other hobbies to bother or fuss over sex anyway, so we don't really care.

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The whole concept of "virginity" is just a tool used by our sexualized culture, but it really doesn't mean anything except that you had sex at least one time. If you don't want to have sex, you don't have to, and if you feel bad because society is telling you that you need to have sex, just know that there's an entire forum of people right here who support you in your preference to stay a virgin.

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goat cheese

Well, even though I don't recall ever really being sexually attracted to anyone, I have some libido and a large part of my soul (distinguished from my body) wishes I could have that wonderfully exciting and fulfilling experience called intercourse.  And now inside I'm screaming lashing out temper tantrum throwing things around cry baby saying to the universe "oh ok!  Then I really really want to reincarnate as ace with NO libido whatsoever every single last time I come back to Earth.  I really wanted that experience called intercourse as a soul but my body pretty much doesn't give a ****!  And all my peers have been ****in their brains out for 2 decades so I'm going through all reincarnations with bodies with zero libido forever.  Spend all eternity never ever knowing sexual fulfillment.  What do you think about THAT!?.... Mr. UNIVERSE😈 hahahaha.  I jump on every single last negative aspect of sex lives and relentlessly pound it into my subconscious so that it will carry over into next life.  So yeah, I think being virgin for literal eternity is most Nobel.  A famous near-death survivor who came back from Other Side cheerfully informed me that Bible says it's better to be ace than sexual.  That if celebacy you live for God if you married you live for spouse and your kids.  There are reasons I think that cultures, religions so on everywhere place value on celebacy.  I've even heard of yogic disciplines that recommend celebacy.  The energy of libido builds and explodes upwards into higher States of consciousness.  Done right in yoga that is.

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I don't see how it could be wrong. It's everyone's personal choice, whether they are asexual or not. Besides, having sex is not really an extraordinary thing you achieve in your life. I don't understand why people get so excited about such a trivial biological function. Life doesn't really stop at sex. (Well, for some people it does, but hey, I am not judging.)

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AceMissBehaving

I would say there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ll probably go my whole life without riding a motorcycle, there are plenty of things we won’t do before we die, and if you’re not interested in it, it seems unnecessary to force yourself into something for the sake of other people’s expectations 

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Why should that be wrong? Who is entitled to decide whether you should have intercourse or not? Personally I think it is quite natural, sex is grotesquely overrated and it is only reasonable to avoid it as far as possible.

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From my general experience, sex fucks people over a whole lot. I rarely see any truly great lives from people who have sex as a result of said sex drive - its mostly the opposite. As far as Im concerned, its a destructive urge that people have that gets them into trouble, and thats exactly why Im glad I dont have it. Now if only that pesky romanticism could get curbed...

 

Dont sweat virginity, its only viewed as a bad thing because of our hypersexualized society. Depending on your odds, Id personally say you might be lucky to stay a virgin as an asexual!

 

 

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If it’s wrong, well... shit. I’ll be 34 in 2 months. However, I’ve never seen it as wanting to be a virgin. I’m not out there horny for it but saying no for the sake of purity or something. I simply have no interest in having sex except for a brief period of curiosity where I thought maybe if I’d try it I’d like it, or I had to really try it to know I didn’t want it. 

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On 4/29/2019 at 7:14 AM, Philip027 said:

Taking aside the fact that some people want to have their own flesh and blood children, adoption is not always as simple of a process as many seem to think it is.  A lot of people would like to do it but can't because of the (unnecessarily) strict screening involved.  Good luck if you're a single male, for instance.

 

Regardless, I'm pretty sure most people that want kids but don't want sex have at least considered adoption and weighed the choice accordingly.

 

I think if you're single period then its pretty hard to adopt. Many people feel that you need to have 2 parents in your life for the child to be properly cared for. I know that chick from My Big Fat Life or something like that wanted to adopt a little girl from Korea and not only did they comment on the fact that she was not married but told her she was too overweight and she's a woman who was trying to adopt.

 

So its not just men they look at for such things. Also the process of adopting can take up to 2 to 3 years maybe even longer from what I understand probably between all the background checks, along side this, that and the third. That makes it hard for both parties, the ones trying to adopt and the ones trying to put the child up for adoption.

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katinthehat

According to one of the doctors I saw on base it's a big deal. 🙄 She asked me when my last pap smear was done, I said, "Never." When she asked me why, I told her I've never been sexually active before. I was 25 at the time. That look of shock and bewilderment has been burned into my memory ever since. I'm indifferent to sex, so I don't care whether or not I lose my virginity at some point. If I get curious someday and I find someone, sure, why not.

 

Also, f*ck speculums. They're awkward and they hurt like hell because I can't relax enough.

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  • 3 weeks later...
goat cheese

Absolutely not!  Sex is always optional.  I'm an only child, but my folks will Never get grandkids! lol If my mom wanted grandkids, she should have had more kids than just me!  THEY probably would have brought her grandkids.  Sorry Mom.  If it's all on me to bring you grandkids then you ain't getting any, EVER.  Sex is of the Devil!

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On 7/2/2019 at 1:01 AM, katinthehat said:

According to one of the doctors I saw on base it's a big deal. 🙄 She asked me when my last pap smear was done, I said, "Never." When she asked me why, I told her I've never been sexually active before. I was 25 at the time. That look of shock and bewilderment has been burned into my memory ever since. I'm indifferent to sex, so I don't care whether or not I lose my virginity at some point. If I get curious someday and I find someone, sure, why not.

 

Also, f*ck speculums. They're awkward and they hurt like hell because I can't relax enough.

After submitting to pap smears as a virgin, I finally had one medical professional tell me that they weren't necessary for virgins, so I stopped. I'm sorry the doctor reacted that way to you. I am 43 and a virgin, and will be a virgin for life. So I guess I'm in the freak club too.

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There's nothing intrinsically wrong with either having sex or not having sex.  Just make sure that, in doing so, you treat others as you would want to be treated.

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On 3/29/2019 at 6:57 PM, Nick2 said:

Not on my bucket list.

Until I found out about asexuality it was kind of on mine. I wanted to have sex and lose my virginity. After I identified as asexual, I put a big X thru it and never looked back. That was when I was 44 and I'm 57 now.

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All virginity means is that you  haven't engaged in one specific physical action yet.  It's not a big deal, one way or the other.  

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  • 4 months later...
SithAzathoth WinterDragon

No, not at all wrong with wanting to die a virgin.

I'll never be sexual on any level with anyone,  and never have. I dont masturbate either and never want to. 

It's perfectly normal to want to die a virgin. 

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By all means stay a virgin if that is your heart's desire. Nothing wrong with that at all. I'm sure many people who have had sex deeply regretted it because of the repercussions involved and wished they had stayed a virgin. Be proud of it and embrace it. 

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1 hour ago, acematt said:

By all means stay a virgin if that is your heart's desire. Nothing wrong with that at all. I'm sure many people who have had sex deeply regretted it because of the repercussions involved and wished they had stayed a virgin. Be proud of it and embrace it. 

When I've come out to friends that I was asexual, I also told them that I was still a virgin. Not by choice but that I had no interest in sex with a person of either gender. None of them said, "Oh you should try it first..."

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20 hours ago, will123 said:

When I've come out to friends that I was asexual, I also told them that I was still a virgin. Not by choice but that I had no interest in sex with a person of either gender. None of them said, "Oh you should try it first..."

Those are true blue friends. They respect what you stand for. Real friends are to be cherished. 

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On 11/28/2019 at 11:11 PM, acematt said:

Those are true blue friends. They respect what you stand for. Real friends are to be cherished. 

The one friend was kind of surprised by my telling her. "I guess I should feel honoured that you feel comfortable enough to tell me". I responded that we had spent a LOT of time together over the years and I had never tried to initiate ANYTHING. I felt that I had to explain to her why even though I enjoyed our time together, sex wasn't something we'd 'share'. 

 

Her reaction to that was awesome. "Society is so over-sexed and not everyone fits". If I had been in a position to hug her, I would've squeezed the daylights out of her. I was so happy that she was completely at ease about my asexuality.

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8 hours ago, will123 said:

The one friend was kind of surprised by my telling her. "I guess I should feel honoured that you feel comfortable enough to tell me". I responded that we had spent a LOT of time together over the years and I had never tried to initiate ANYTHING. I felt that I had to explain to her why even though I enjoyed our time together, sex wasn't something we'd 'share'. 

 

Her reaction to that was awesome. "Society is so over-sexed and not everyone fits". If I had been in a position to hug her, I would've squeezed the daylights out of her. I was so happy that she was completely at ease about my asexuality.

Good to hear. Society is most definitely oversexed and many people don't fit in with that. So thankful for these kind of forums. I wish they would have existed a long time ago. 

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21 minutes ago, acematt said:

Good to hear. Society is most definitely oversexed and many people don't fit in with that. So thankful for these kind of forums. I wish they would have existed a long time ago. 

The only thing is that I wasnt looking for 'answers' because I wasn't questioning anything. I just assumed I was straight, but not good at it. I just stumbled across a newspaper article about asexuality which mentioned AVEN. The rest as they say is history! :)

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Why would it be wrong?  It's not like you "have to" reproduce - the world is over-populated enough already.  Save the planet, stay a virgin!  It's environmental to refuse sex!

 

(Okay, I know it sounds sarcastic, but seriously, there are too many people.)

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On 11/30/2019 at 7:40 AM, will123 said:

The one friend was kind of surprised by my telling her. "I guess I should feel honoured that you feel comfortable enough to tell me". I responded that we had spent a LOT of time together over the years and I had never tried to initiate ANYTHING. I felt that I had to explain to her why even though I enjoyed our time together, sex wasn't something we'd 'share'. 

 

Her reaction to that was awesome. "Society is so over-sexed and not everyone fits". If I had been in a position to hug her, I would've squeezed the daylights out of her. I was so happy that she was completely at ease about my asexuality.

This makes me happy to read. 🙂  Hope someone says that to me someday.

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28 minutes ago, Moony's Boy Child said:

I don't know why it'd be wrong. Staying a virgin isn't harming anyone else but forcing yourself to have sex you don't want is harming yourself.

Absolutely correct.

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