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Questioning my Romantic Attraction


darvyn

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This is something that I've been mulling over for a while now. I used to think that I was pretty straight forward, Asexual/Panromantic

 

But now I'm questioning whether or not I am actually experiencing romantic attraction. Not to open a can of worms, but I am in a relationship, and have constantly been told that I am very unromantic (in the traditional sense). And honestly, I agree. I don't feel the need to display affection nor do I really want to. I don't know if it's because of the circumstances of the relationship that I feel this way, but just in general I don't know if I really want anything like that.

 

I don't know if it's because I'm on the aromantic spectrum, but I just feel weird about romance and love in general. Like, I know how to feel about it in a platonic and familial sense, but nothing more.

 

I'd appreciate some insight. If any folks that identify as anything other than romantic read this, I would love to hear about your feelings. How do you categorize yourself as aro/demi-romantic? What are the biggest signs for identifying as something other than just "hetero/homo/bi/pan-romantic"?

 

I dunno, I'm just feeling a bit lost in this aspect as I get older and realize that I don't want the same things most folks my age do.

 

Thanks for reading!

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AmorphousBlob

I'm in general terrible at identifying feelings, especially my own, so I just ask myself "Do I want to (date/kiss/other romancy things) this person?" and if the answer is no, I'd say I'm not romantically attracted to them

 

As for romantic attraction as a whole, I asked myself "Hypothetically, can I come up with a person (real or otherwise) that I WOULD want to date/kiss/whatever?" and the answer was no.

 

A bit unsophisticated? Maybe. But it's the only thing that's worked for me so far.

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NickyTannock

I've moved this thread from 'Questions about Asexuality' to 'Romantic and Aromantic Orientations'.
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

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@AmorphousBlob

 

I just realized that I neglected to respond! Thank you for your insight. I'm still unsure, of course. Because theoretically doing romantic things sound nice, but when it comes down to it, I'm just not super interested lol.

 

I might need to muse about it a bit more, but I'm thinking I might be closer to demi-romantic that I originally thought. Using your method, I can hypothetically imagine doing "romance-y" things as long as I get to know them first ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Thanks again!! :D 

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