How would you describe the way you feel gender? (ALL GENDERS WELCOME)

[ElasticPlanet]

8 hours ago, AmorphousBlob said:

I get mistaken for a guy about 50% of the time, which tells me that I'm androgynous enough that people are equally likely to go one way versus the other. Very, VERY few people ever assume nonbinary-ness, so it's pretty much the closest to passing I can get.

Actually that's pretty much what I thought you meant. I probably just didn't convey that very well when I responded to what you wrote earlier. Part of what I was trying to say was that the 50/50 thing (even if I did achieve that) just wouldn't work for me - it's not close enough to passing as nonbinary.

 

5 hours ago, Coddiwomple said:

I feel the exact same way. I like passing as male in isolated incidents because it means people aren't seeing me as female, but I would never want to be universally read as male. 

I have a hunch that more people are stopping in their cars now to give me a chance to cross the road in front of them... but I have no actual statistics! With my hair like this I could certainly be read as female from that kind of distance, and you know what, it just makes me feel worse (not about me but about society as a whole). It's another facet of traditional sexism that I'd never been aware of before, because (1) pretty much always being read as male and given male privilege and (2) it never ever ever ever ever f***ing occurred to me while driving, to treat pedestrians (or for that matter, pink or purple cars) differently because gender presentation.

[Skeletonducky]

@ElasticPlanet yeah, it really is stupid and irritating how much sexism there is in society.

[Custard Cream]

It's hard to explain how being cis feels. I was born female. I know I'm female deep in my bones. I look in the mirror and I see a female. I'm perfectly comfortable with that, and 99% of the time I don't feel any need to question it. I don't think I can explain it any other way.  There are plenty of things I don't like about me, but they are aesthetic issues rather than gender related.

[General]

13 hours ago, Coddiwomple said:

I feel the exact same way. I like passing as male in isolated incidents because it means people aren't seeing me as female, but I would never want to be universally read as male.

Relatable.  Sometimes I don't mind being misgendered (in thought not word) in brief moments if people think I'm male.  For me it's a safety issue.  Cis guys are less likely to harass another male, especially if he presents as masculine.  You know it's a sad society when just being assigned female at birth is a safety hazard.  smh

[General]

2 hours ago, CustardCream said:

It's hard to explain how being cis feels. I was born female. I know I'm female deep in my bones. I look in the mirror and I see a female. I'm perfectly comfortable with that, and 99% of the time I don't feel any need to question it. I don't think I can explain it any other way.  There are plenty of things I don't like about me, but they are aesthetic issues rather than gender related.

I mean, I know I was assigned female at birth, but I was also assigned "girl" at birth, which is gender not sex.  I know I'm female in anatomy but I'm not a girl gender in my mind.  I'm neither girl or boy in my thoughts.  I am nonbinary.  The only thing I feel is a strong sense of masculinity.  That is why I say I am a nonbinary masc-gender.

 

As far as physique is concerned....let's just say if male puberty hit me in a female body, I'd be mostly okay with that.  Female puberty was atrocious.  In my prepubescent female state I was perfect.  Add male puberty to that body without excessive amounts of hair, and THAT is what I should look like.

[General]

On Monday, March 25, 2019 at 1:14 PM, AmorphousBlob said:

Ah, it's interesting that you mention that! One thing I've actually been wondering for a while now is this: How does the categorization of certain attributes as masculine/feminine/androgynous impact the way we perceive gender itself, if at all?

 

Because I feel like it might not be true to say that the possession of qualities associated with a particular gender don't impact the perception of someone's gender at all, but also that they in no way determine one's gender. I dunno, I could be way off though.

 

Oh, and thanks for all the replies, this is way more than I expected! I think this has definitely helped me understand gender at least a bit better.

You're quite welcome. ☺

And yes, I understand what you mean.  I do think possessing certain qualities has an impact on people's perception of their gender to some degree.  It's difficult to not use binary descriptions because humans have built such a binary system.

 

All I know is, when I'm in contact with men or women, I understand that I'm separate and distinct from both.  I feel different inside.  I feel like "the other gender," or "another gender," and I'm okay with that.

[Janus the Fox]

I'm agender and I don't feel or am in a particular way currently, a minor preference with female gender expression, that's fluid back to agender in occasion.  others can pronounce in any way.  I'm also mildly trans as a male sex.

[The Incarnation Of Boredom]

On 3/26/2019 at 3:15 PM, AmorphousBlob said:

Hey! After hearing all these comments, I wanted to try my hand at my own description of my experience with gender (and lack thereof)

 

I'm AFAB agender and use they/them pronouns for myself though I have no preference. I am not out to anyone in my school because most of them would laugh in my face about the issue and I don't feel the need to come out to them.

 

I guess I just feel indifferent about most aspects of gender. If I woke up as a male, I think I would miss most aspects of my female body, but not because it's female, just because it's my body. I guess one of my first clues was the disconnection I feel with my chest. It's not quite dysphoria, but whenever I see my own chest it doesn't feel like mine. Unlike everything else, it's the only part of me that doesn't feel like it's part of my body.

 

Whenever people mistake me for a guy, I feel happy. But it's not cause they think I'm a guy, it's cause it means they don't think I'm a girl. I'll still correct them anyway, if only because I have a feminine name and they apologize excessively once they realize I'm AFAB if I don't immediately correct them.

 

If I'm gonna be honest, I don't have any sort of feeling of rightness with the label agender in and of itself. What I DO feel, however, is a connection to everyone else I've spoken to that is agender. I didn't start using the label til AVEN, because I didn't know anyone firsthand that was agender and the label didn't "feel right". Not wrong, but not right either. But once I met so many agender people on AVEN, I felt like even if the label didn't quite "feel right", the community did. Now, the label does feel right on some level, because I have stories and names to put to it that I relate to in a very deep way.

 

Hope that makes sense!

Damn! Thanks! I didn't realize that my " wow, I actually look feminine without a shirt, that chest doesn't look right on me" was something other people got too. I knew people who HATED their feminine aspects, but I didn't know anyone who would take off a shirt and be like "oh yeah, I forgot I had boobs, it just doesn't look right"

So its nice to see someone else who gets it.

[General]

13 minutes ago, Rebecca Benner said:

Damn! Thanks! I didn't realize that my " wow, I actually look feminine without a shirt, that chest doesn't look right on me" was something other people got too. I knew people who HATED their feminine aspects, but I didn't know anyone who would take off a shirt and be like "oh yeah, I forgot I had boobs, it just doesn't look right"

So its nice to see someone else who gets it.

Personally I think b**bs just look bizarre on my body.  It's like my face and physique don't match.  Almost seems like those toys where you can mix and match parts, and it looks weird when you swap out the heads.  LOL

[AmorphousBlob]

48 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

Personally I think b**bs just look bizarre on my body.  It's like my face and physique don't match.  Almost seems like those toys where you can mix and match parts, and it looks weird when you swap out the heads.  LOL

That actually described how I feel about em perfectly, wow.

[The Incarnation Of Boredom]

4 hours ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

Personally I think b**bs just look bizarre on my body.  It's like my face and physique don't match.  Almost seems like those toys where you can mix and match parts, and it looks weird when you swap out the heads.  LOL

I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE

 

When I look at it for me it looks like someone took a random picture off a magazine or something and drew boobs on it. Like, it looks crudely added afterwards (which I mean, technically boobs just come out of nowhere when you hit puberty so I guess it IS just added on top lol)

[TrippleL]

6 hours ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

Personally I think b**bs just look bizarre on my body.  It's like my face and physique don't match.  Almost seems like those toys where you can mix and match parts, and it looks weird when you swap out the heads.  LOL

Despite being biologically male I can relate to this 🙂

 

When I read these posts I went through a loop of “I wouldn’t mind boobs... but wait, they would look f***ing weird on this male body and I actually like my muscly male chest!”

 

I still think the best solution would be to have 2 bodies to swap between at will; one male and one female. No genitalia required in either case, but a retractable tube to pee standing up would be good 🙂🙂

[Bloc]

1 hour ago, TrippleL said:

When I read these posts I went through a loop of “I wouldn’t mind boobs... but wait, they would look f***ing weird on this male body and I actually like my muscly male chest!” 

For me it is more than wouldn't mind. More like hell yeah I'll take them. But I would still be confused.

[General]

7 hours ago, Bloc said:

For me it is more than wouldn't mind. More like hell yeah I'll take them. But I would still be confused.

If I could give you mine I would.  Let's trade! 😄

[Bloc]

7 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

If I could give you mine I would.  Let's trade! 😄

Thanks for the offer. Trans body parts exchange😁

[General]

14 hours ago, Rebecca Benner said:

I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE

 

When I look at it for me it looks like someone took a random picture off a magazine or something and drew boobs on it. Like, it looks crudely added afterwards (which I mean, technically boobs just come out of nowhere when you hit puberty so I guess it IS just added on top lol)

Yeah I look at myself fully nude in the mirror sometimes and just go "WTF happened here???  B**bs and hips attached to a boyish face with a short haircut.  Then a muscular upper body but also flat genitalia with no protruding external elements....like WTF????  I don't know what all these dudes are complaining about with their micro-peens.  I'll gladly take something similar to that."

 

Nonbinary problems. 😒

[General]

15 hours ago, AmorphousBlob said:

That actually described how I feel about em perfectly, wow.

Glad I could be of assistance lol.  I just felt that was the most accurate way to describe it.  

 

I feel like some kid made me their doll an put Ken's head on Barbie's body, stuck on He-Man's arms and legs, then dressed me in G.I. Joe's uniform so it's camouflaging all my mismatched parts.  LMAO

[TrippleL]

1 hour ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

If I could give you mine I would.  Let's trade! 😄

I’d happily trade some male dangly bits for female hips 🙃

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I'd give mine up, don't need owt back.

[General]

7 minutes ago, TrippleL said:

I’d happily trade some male dangly bits for female hips 🙃

😁 I would have to just donate the hips to you because I don't need specifically male dangly bits lol

 

Not gonna lie though....if I could rent some male dangly bits just to see what it's like I would.  Hahaa

[TrippleL]

Just now, AceOfHearts_85 said:

😁 I would have to just donate the hips to you because I don't need specifically male dangly bits lol

 

Not gonna lie though....if I could rent some male dangly bits just to see what it's like I would.  Hahaa

Good for peeing standing up, that’s about it! 🙂

[General]

2 minutes ago, TrippleL said:

Good for peeing standing up, that’s about it! 🙂

I would honestly love that ability.  So convenient. 😃 

Sitting is relaxing but it takes too long and toilet seats are unsanitary.  Not to mention your clothes accidentally touching the floor and the toilet is unsanitary.  Ugh 😣

[TrippleL]

33 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

I would honestly love that ability.  So convenient. 😃 

Sitting is relaxing but it takes too long and toilet seats are unsanitary.  Not to mention your clothes accidentally touching the floor and the toilet is unsanitary.  Ugh 😣

I still think no genitalia but with a retractable tube for peeing would be the best solution 🙂

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I quite like sitting down, but then again I am lazy.