Nine of Spades Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 The other night, I decided to go ahead and order a black ring from Amazon. It's been something I wanted to do ever since I heard about the black ring. I wouldn't wear it all the time, just when I'm out and about by myself. The problem is, I still live at home with my family (hoping to change that sometime this year). They're usually pretty good about not opening my mail or my packages, so I figured it wouldn't be too risky to just go ahead and get it. Fast forward to today, I returned home from work and, to my dismay, I found that the envelope was open. I brought the package to my room and I noticed the ring was loose inside the case. Someone definitely opened it and looked inside. Welp, I'm screwed. Apparently, the one thing I wasn't betting on was that the envelope had "JewelryBrands" printed in the return address. I don't usually wear jewelry and my parents know I'm not in a relationship that they know of, so I think I'm probably going to get some very interesting questions next time I see them. So, I need some advice. What should I tell them? One important thing to note is that both of them are Christians (the LGBT-unfriendly type) and they probably think I'm gay. I'm kinda worried they're thinking I'm secretly in a relationship with a man behind their backs, and I have no way to disprove it. If I come out as ace, they absolutely wouldn't believe me. Maybe I'm just overreacting, I don't know. On top of that, the ring's a bit too big... Link to post Share on other sites
Denoscar Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 I'm so sorry to hear this. It's horrible to hear that your family would look in your mail like that. That should be an invasion of your privacy. I'm sorry, but you may have to lie out of this one if you're confronted. It's just not worth the risk to parents like that. If they don't talk to you about it right away, avoid wearing it for a few days and hope they forget about it. The only thing I can think of to say to them if they ask is to simply say you wanted to try wearing a ring and you like black. I know that might not be a great lie, but I can't think of anything else right now. I'm sorry. My mother is also the LGBT-unfriendly type. I have decided to keep my orientation a secret from her. I have bought a pin of the ace flag. Thankfully my mother does not go through my mail, so I've had it without her ever seeing it. It would be really uncomfortable if I had to tell her. I understand this would be a scary situation for you. You have my best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
aaa123 Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Oh god, when I was younger my family would always go through my mail. Awful. I agree with @Denoscar . If they don't talk about it, don't bring it up. Chances are that they just think it's a ring you ordered online. If they ask any questions, I'd just tell them that you're starting to get interested in buying rings or something along the lines of that. Edit: And going to be honest, most people don't know about the black ring .. and I'm going to bet your parents don't know about it unless they do intensive research about other sexualities haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Norellia Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Ya I would probably lie about the context of the ring. Maybe you can say its something that a character in a book or show wore that you are a fan of and say its from that if they ask? Or you could be more simple and say you saw it on amazon thought it looked cool and bought it. Up to you really. Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Tell them it's a chastity ring and that you have made a pact with yourself not to indulge in sexual activity until marriage. Surely they can't disapprove of that. And its true not many people know about the black ring. If they do bother to research it, it doesn't prove a black ring can't have other meanings. Well it does actually, but lets not go there. It seems reasonable that if asexuals use black rings they might be used as chastity rings too. Link to post Share on other sites
Dot.2.Dot Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 My parents were old-fashioned, racists, and a few other choice things but I refused to ever lie to them. I'm sure they would have had all kinds of things to say had they found out about me. I don't know why you'd have to explain anything. Why not because you wanted to. That should be sufficient. If you bought it with your own money and you're 18 or so...who cares? My mom was religious and my dad just stayed out of anything pertaining to it so I get it. Do what you're comfortable with doing. It's really hard to gauge what to suggest when parents can be anywhere from a little or to the extreme in their response. My $0.02. ~Hank Link to post Share on other sites
Ortac Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Do they even have any idea what a black ring signifies? Chances are, they don't; ace rings are not exactly very well known about. So I don't see why you have to tell them anything. If they pester you about it, just say "yeah, it's a ring, so what? I just liked it and I wanted it". Link to post Share on other sites
Pandark Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 3 hours ago, Nine of Spades said: If I come out as ace, they absolutely wouldn't believe me. You seem certain of this. The evidence is in your favor, why would they insist otherwise? Link to post Share on other sites
secrethamster Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 Wow, same thing happened to me! I'm literally an adult and ordered a ring for myself, then came home to find my parents had opened my mail. My ring was also too big You don't have to explain it's significance. Doing a quick google search finds that rings on the middle finger represent stability or independence or whatever. You could just tell them you like the idea of that symbolism, if they ask you about it. Don't worry about it if it doesn't come up. Link to post Share on other sites
Nine of Spades Posted March 24, 2019 Author Share Posted March 24, 2019 Update time! I haven't heard a word about this at all from my parents, so I think I might be in the clear. For now, at least. Either way, thanks for all the support and advice. I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest iwanttolearn Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 Hope everything is ok with you now. stay strong, good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Firefly8 Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 My parents would never open my mail out of respect and it's just a rude invasive thing to do. It may just be how I was raised, but I think that's very wrong of your parents to open your mail (assuming it was addressed to you), even if you do live in their house. Link to post Share on other sites
Nick2 Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 Tell them you are a swinger. Link to post Share on other sites
Myers Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 I don’t think I knew black rings had any significance... identifies aces? I already have quite a few black gold rings since I am a jewelry nut, but is it a particular ring type? Link to post Share on other sites
lilgroundhog Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 If it does come up, say you decided you wanted the ring and decided to buy it. No justification as to any meaning. Things would get trickier if they push for more details. Why do we do most things, because we want to. Link to post Share on other sites
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