Friendships

[Tyger Songbird]

Does anyone else feel that friendships should be valued as just as important as romance, like me?

 

It's not a "bros-before-you know" type of thing at all. It's more of a bosom buddy, companion, and my homie. However, I just feel like friendships bring me more joy, comfort, and assurance than romantic rendezvous. I personally value my friends overall in a big way. I don't want to lose them in any single way. My current friends mean a lot to me.

I never like invoking the Bible in arguments, because I know not everyone's religious. However, in this case, I will use it as a reason for my argument. If I could use a tableau of sorts for a perfect relationship for me, I would actually use David and Jonathan as my perfect relationship. It's a bromance of sorts. If you're not familiar with it, I'll explain. Jonathan and David were friends basically young, and when David won and became a hero after Goliath, then Saul wanted him killed. Jonathan was Saul's son. Jonathan, though, went to help his friend escape death, and what he said later was important: "I will be with you forever until my death". It's very touching and loving.

 

So, anyway, one day David gets news as king, and he finds out that Jonathan was murdered in wartime. David was more than devastated by the news: he was bereaved. He said that "his love surpassed the love of any woman." The relationship was that close. A lot of people would wonder when studying their relationship if David and Jonathan were both gay and everything, but I just saw it as a deep and powerful relationship. That's all I really want deep down. Someone who openly loves me while always being there for me, my overall best friend.

That's all I really want in a relationship. I never really wanted all that romantic stuff overall. I just want to have my best friend who truly understand my fascinations and eccentricities. I never could get why friendships are seen as 2nd place in the relationship hierarchy.

 

I may not have many, but I absolutely love having good friends. I don't get why friendships are denigrated to being 2nd place or less signifcant than romantic relationships. Reading CS Lewis's 4 loves in a sense tells me about Phileo vs Eros. They always state that eros is the most grand of all loves and everything. After all, when you die, they ask you who you are survived by, like your wife and kids. They consider those the next of kin and everything. I never could get that, though. My closest people are always my friends. They have been through the thick and thin with me. I could never have thanked them enough to be people in my life, overall. However, I don't want to go out with them, like everyone else on Earth.

 

I feel they're significant to me, but why do friends never get treated as significant others? When you look at it, overall, most friends tend to outlast relationships, really. Many marriages divorce, many dating relationships overall falter. I never could guess why you wouldn't value having friends so much more than anything. They tend to be the most loyal and long-lasting of relationships. I don't get it. Even when you're really good friends, they start to question whether you're possibly homosexual or if you're dating. I've had people assume that because I'm friends (especially being friends with girls) that I'm possibly trying to hook-up with them, I guess. It's as if people can't be friends with each other without sex being involved, and I don't understand why that is. Why can't we all just be friends overall? Is there something wrong to being friends overall? If there is, I'd like the world to tell me why that is. It doesn't make any sense to me.

 

Friendships > romance. That's the most important thing to me, the most significant form of love. That's how I feel. I wish society valued friendships more overall, really.

[NickyTannock]

I've moved this thread from 'Questions about Asexuality' to 'Romantic and Aromantic Orientations'.
 
Michael Tannock,
Open Mic moderator and Questions about Asexuality Co-moderator.

[Percychan]

I feel the same way. I wish it was more common for friendships to be viewed this way cause when my friends are in relationships, I tend to get pushed to the side. By no means do I want my friends to not have romantic relationships, but I'm tired of being the seventh wheel. Oh well

[Duke Memphis]

Anyone who doesn't think friendship is an important kind of relationship hasn't seen Stand By Me.

[Tyger Songbird]

2 hours ago, Percychan said:

I feel the same way. I wish it was more common for friendships to be viewed this way cause when my friends are in relationships, I tend to get pushed to the side. By no means do I want my friends to not have romantic relationships, but I'm tired of being the seventh wheel. Oh well

Agreed. I tend to be the other option, the forgotten man, and the adjunct companion. I'm not overall the first choice of anybody, nor does anybody call for that. Everything in the revolving world has to do with romance and sex, and if you don't have either one, then no one really cares overall. You're the Eleanor Rigby of sorts. Friendships start to fall apart whenever love starts jumping in. There are days I don't even get someone to talk to. I just wish someone would strike up a conversation with me overall. Most days I'm all alone. I've had a lot of practice at being alone. I'm an expert at it, you could say. That has its good, but it also has a lot of bad to it.