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HELP (4)


Europan

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I am just very confused with my life right now. I feel tired all the time, even though I sleep 8 hours. I try to go to my therapist, but my mom is too busy to take me and I am busy myself. I don't want my dad to take me because he doesn't accept me for my aromanticism. I really hate where I live. It is a rich white suburb with a great school district, but the locker rooms and the people aren't accepting. I really want to become an aerospace engineer, but I feel like I have to jump through all of these classes and I literally have to take courses during the summer to get ahead.Without aerospace, I don't know how I would live. Secretly, I'm non-binary, but I have yet to come out to any friends or family. I feel so isolated because I can't transition or be out of the closet due to the environment in my community. I feel so much pressure from myself and I'm having issues with my body image right now. I look at all of the attractive male athletes at my school and then look at how bad I am. I go to the gym and eat right, but it's not working. I immerse myself in tons of clubs which I enjoy, but I am so disoriented with all this stuff. I need help. I need support. Please

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Comrade F&F

🤗 *hugs* okay. Take a deep breath...

 

Your love for Aerospace is amazing! I'm a STEM major too, and it's never going to be an easy thing. You'll hit snags a lot of times, but what matters is you learn the tenacity to overcome it. And that's the most important advice I can give you. Never quit on your dreams, because it will be a reality in time. You'll screw up 7-8 times, but on the 9th try, you'll make it through. You just need to get through the 7-8 mistakes first.

 

Before ruling in any psychological concern, it could be something physical, aside from eating and exercising. If you're always tired but not getting enough sleep, maybe you're not getting enough quality sleep. Do you wake up in the middle of the night? Do you still feel exhausted in the morning? Is it noisy where you live? Little things like that can register a big impact, and that can throw off your entire rhythm.

 

Last advice I can offer is try to keep a journal. Every night before you go to bed, write down all your worries, troubles, and concerns, so it's not 'with' you when you take it to sleep. Next, make a to-do list for the next day, so you're not thinking about it constantly. There's some evidence that having something written down and taken off our mind can help ease worry and tension. It's just the physical characteristic of something still there and close enough to be helpful.

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GentlemanCambrioleur

I'm in the closet too with my parents, so I understand a bit of where you're coming from. It can be difficult to understand if they will change or not someday, especially given the prevalence of cisheteronormative/amatonormative concerns that override what their kids really need. I'm not going to tell you they'll get better, but you might. We are stronger than they are, and if we show the world how lovely and talented and great we are in spite of the majority's expectations, maybe we can change their reality.

 

I used to closet myself with the possibility that I might be anything other than straight. That was a few years ago. If we can realize that about ourselves, then our parents maybe can too. Stay thoughtful and independent. 

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Focusing on your Aerospace dream will give you something to escape into when everything else is a problem. It will also help you get out of your town and away from narrow minded people. It will be incredibly hard, but if it's your dream, give it everything you've got. Don't compare yourself to others. There's always someone hotter, smarter, stronger, faster etc than you. Always x

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