Kinks, Fantasies, Fetishes, their all here for you.

[Guest]

Spoiler

I have at least a kink or two, neither are BDSM nor is one a particularly common one, but like many there's a high degree of intimacy involved and is a good way for bonding (no not bondage bonding 😛)...oxytocin is they key thing here.

 

[HaruChan]

13 hours ago, Bloc said:

What is also fun, is to torture a masochist with being nice and have them beg for pain. But also making cute noises while someone is hurting me is is a kink of me.

Lol I don't know about the torture part but hey, if it works for you then cheers! but yea that sounds hot ngl 😆😅 

[HaruChan]

How did yall find out about ya'lls kinks?? If y'all dont mind me asking.

[Bloc]

My ex boyfriend was kinky so we started talking about kink which made me think what I like. And my girlfriend is kinky too. So I had some opportunity to explore it.

[HaruChan]

1 hour ago, Bloc said:

My ex boyfriend was kinky so we started talking about kink which made me think what I like. And my girlfriend is kinky too. So I had some opportunity to explore it.

Damn, must be nice lol

[Bloc]

Before I never thought about me having kinks.

[HaruChan]

Ah I see, I guess it would be a bit difficult to discover them without a partner. The way I found about my kink was through reading erotic Korean Manhwa lol. At first I it was all just ecchi manga which all had regular sex but then one day I found a Manhwa called Sadistic beauty and I really liked it. Then another one called S Flower, and The missing O. After reading that last one I was really fascinated.

[Interference]

I'm mainly a pet play type of person (kitten), and i do call my bf master in most cases. but, lately we've both been slowly trading roles with each other - him being more submissive and me being more dominant. i am liking this reversal so far, though i don't feel like i am cut out to be a 'true' dominatrix, though - i am more into the micromanaging and rules type of domination than the sex, which is the thing he's into. 

 

a thing i really wanna try out irl is wearing fetish gear/sex toys underneath what seems to be really modest clothing - long flowy skirt, sleeved shirts, etc, as well as some exhibitionism. bf tried teasing me in public through text, and it went very well, so i want to see how far it could be taken. 

 

unfortunately, due to our status (ldr, 4 years as of this year and broke) there's only so much we can do. 

[Guest]

Spoiler

I never had a RL partner to explore these with...I basically found mine outta "morbid curiosity".

 

[Metal99]

Well, after seeing all your secret desires I feel more comfortable talking about mine. I love piggyback rides (giving and receiving). I think it's a fetish/kink related to some important event of my childhood.

[AlwaysAwkward]

I'm really happy that I found this page - I recently heard that there were kinky aces, but when I first figured out that I was ace I though "oh, well I guess that means I can't really be into that stuff." 

[Artila]

I haven't really discovered any kinks of mine yet but I really love the SM vibes. It doesn't really turn me on but I love to depict the "broken" clingy, whiny, dependant subs and their cool, badass, villainous doms. Idk there is something about those vibes that I love.

Especially when it's in a cliché SM setting where you also get some demonic, dark vibes from all of that.

 

I kinda started painting a series of SM lesbians haha, I should finish it one day.

 

 

[Littleface]

/

 

[Guest]

.

[Andrea KF]

Don't believe I've written in this thread before. I should have.

 

I like the idea that kinks doesn't have to be sexual, but rather just intimidate play. Adult fun.

I guess I would be submissive even if I'm not into straight out BDSM. I have never tried anything for real because of me being aorace and having the wrong kind of body for my own liking.

 

I've always liked nuns for some reason. Today I walked past a sex shop and saw an ad for massage oil or something like that with a picture of a craving nun and a  slogan alluding to holiness. I feel like I'm constantly blushing since then.

[AlwaysWandering]

I'm not usually very vocal about my kinks and stuff, because it tends to confuse people around me🤣

But I'm really into some aspects of BDSM and I really have a thing for a happy trail🙈

I don't like sex, but it's an erotic aspect I do really like 

[HaruChan]

On 7/17/2020 at 8:28 PM, SkyTuneRein said:

  Hide contents

I never had a RL partner to explore these with...I basically found mine outta "morbid curiosity".

 

Haha right?? I've never had an RL partner either so yea, pure morbid curiosity is at play here lol. And bc of it I also want to bleach my eyes ;;;

[Guest]

Spoiler

It's nothing extreme so mine doesn't require eye bleach, at least not to me, but it is a matter of taste as with all kinks/fetishes. Few things had ever made me want to bleach my eyes...

 

[aring91]

TMI

Spoiler

Lately I've been getting really into butt stuff and exploring penetration so I've slowly been learning how to finger myself, I want to get a toy but unsure of what's good for a beginner with sensory issues. 

 

[BrianW]

On 7/10/2020 at 1:31 AM, HaruChan said:

On of the questions was about our kinks and when it came to me I said thought that the Idea of a man begging for it was pretty hot.

 

After that I've been thinking about it and I started to read a couple of femdom Korean mangas and have found that I thoroughly enjoy the idea of a thin (bigger guys kinda scare me since I'm small) guy dressed in lingerie and wearing makeup while doing *stuff* to him and to hear him beg and be shy about the stuff happening to. To play with his chest area and bite him, I find all of this really hot lol. I hope this doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, it's just fun to talk about.

That is HOT!

I am quite embarrassed about my kinks and being a sub I find it next to impossible to ask for anything. I love the idea of being put into lingerie plus make up then asking for my wants as 'shy' wouldn't even cover it! 

On the occasional times I have had kinky sex and after telling the other what I say at the time (I often blurt it out), I often say "yes" meaning  I'm enjoying, "no" if it's getting too much (but mean that I'm enjoying it a LOT) with increasing volume as it gets more intense and if edged for long enough I will just break down an beg for basically for anything to get 'relief'. If that happens to be my kink (sploshing) then all the better.

Maybe I am more into the humiliation side of subbing than I thought....or you found me a new kink

[GhoulFriend]

It's reassuring to see that so many others on the Ace spectrum also have unique kinks and fantasies. I still worry about my own sometimes (necrophilia) though I'm slowly finding ways to explore it safely and harmlessly, mostly in the form of artistic expression. But ideally I'd like to find a friend who's also into it and can play dead so I could maybe enjoy it physically as well. I just don't like the thought of having sex or even intimately touching anybody alive (so I'm not even sure if a live partner playing dead would even "do it" for me, but I'd still want to try for curiosities' sake). I know that probably sounds really weird/gross/creepy but I don't know how else to explain it. 

I kind of discovered this kink early on in my college years when I got to work with cadavers in anatomy lab. The sight, feel, and formaldehyde smell of them really got me feeling something I'd never felt before. The more I was exposed the more I realized I was attracted to them. I never did anything bad to them but I would take any opportunity I could get to be in lab. Even before that, though, I'd always had an interest in death somehow. And never felt any attraction toward anyone else. I feel weird even talking about this stuff. But I appreciate having this safe spot to be able to! 

[Rhyn Corinn]

@GhoulFriend I'm so glad you're able to feel comfortable talking about it here! The internet (and the world in general) can be a really toxic place when it comes to unusual fetishes, and as someone who's been turned on by some pretty strange things, it always hurts to see negative comments even if I know most of the time they're coming from a place of ignorance. Because what you're doing, essentially, is embracing yourself for who you are, in a way that doesn't hurt anyone else and shouldn't be seen as 'bad' anyway. It shouldn't be something that needs to be such a guarded secret, especially because of how lonely it can feel just to be different and in some ways unable to relate to others on something important to you. Adding guilt and shame to that only makes it worse, and that's something I wish society would figure out but it seems like that's going to take 'normal' people a long time to understand.

 

The other thing is, I know there are probably some people who might say something like "it's ok as long as you don't violate corpses" and while that's technically true, it's also obnoxious that people think that even needs to be brought up. It's as if they think people with fetishes are somehow hypersexual and incapable of controlling their desires like a regular person, which is a pretty offensive and bigoted assumption to make tbh.

 

Anyway, I don't know if you've ever dealt with anything like that, but my heart goes out to you if you have. You deserve to be accepted for who you are, and if people don't accept you it's because they're close-minded and ignorant, and chances are they can't possibly understand what it's like to be you. Keep being yourself, don't give up, and don't let anyone get you down!

[GhoulFriend]

@United Pizza 149 I really appreciate your kind words. I do my best to embrace who I am, although that's not always easy in a world of everyone else! Also, necrophilia is considered a crime in my state so I have to be really careful about how I choose to express myself. But I truly have no bad intentions. Just a different way of feeling things, I guess.  
So I don't really talk about it in person to anyone, or even online (except for this site), because yeah, people can be so ignorant and hateful.  I don't like keeping secrets but I'd dislike more to lose my already-limited social life, and my livelihood over it. It's a difficult situation!   

[Rhyn Corinn]

2 hours ago, GhoulFriend said:

Also, necrophilia is considered a crime in my state so I have to be really careful about how I choose to express myself.

Wait, are you saying that just having those feelings is a crime? For real???

[Guest]

On 8/13/2020 at 12:53 AM, aring91 said:

TMI

  Hide contents

Lately I've been getting really into butt stuff and exploring penetration so I've slowly been learning how to finger myself, I want to get a toy but unsure of what's good for a beginner with sensory issues. 

 

Same here... 😕  But I've gotten used to the feeling ... Toys are great  ... 

[GhoulFriend]

8 hours ago, United Pizza 149 said:

Wait, are you saying that just having those feelings is a crime? For real???

I should have explained that better, it's the actual act of violating a body that is a crime. However I don't want anyone to misinterpret my words or intentions, since people can so often take things out of context.  so I stay pretty quiet about it in my daily life and don't post about it on sites like Facebook or other social media where it could get shared to the wrong groups. 
All of this makes me feel like sort of a bad person inside, even though I'm not! I just somehow ended up with a socially-unacceptable desire. 

[Rhyn Corinn]

5 hours ago, GhoulFriend said:

I should have explained that better, it's the actual act of violating a body that is a crime. However I don't want anyone to misinterpret my words or intentions, since people can so often take things out of context.  so I stay pretty quiet about it in my daily life and don't post about it on sites like Facebook or other social media where it could get shared to the wrong groups. 
All of this makes me feel like sort of a bad person inside, even though I'm not! I just somehow ended up with a socially-unacceptable desire. 

Oh ok, that makes a lot more sense. I definitely get not sharing it to most people, it really sucks that you have to do that but it makes sense why. I've had similar issues with feeling like my own interests are 'bad' especially since I don't talk to people about them. It turns out it's really difficult to move towards self-acceptance when you can't be open about who you are, which is why I'm also very grateful for sites like AVEN and the few people irl who I've told.

[BrianW]

8 hours ago, GhoulFriend said:

I should have explained that better, it's the actual act of violating a body that is a crime. However I don't want anyone to misinterpret my words or intentions, since people can so often take things out of context.  so I stay pretty quiet about it in my daily life and don't post about it on sites like Facebook or other social media where it could get shared to the wrong groups. 
All of this makes me feel like sort of a bad person inside, even though I'm not! I just somehow ended up with a socially-unacceptable desire. 

I have worked with people whose kinks are illegal if they carry them out and sometimes the catharsis of just talking about it is such a relief. The vast majority wouldn't consider breaking the law and I work with those that struggle with the knowledge that they can't.

Not one of those people is a bad person.

The ones that have 'fallen off the wagon' are also not bad people as it's normally a weak moment and says nothing of their character, we then work on what to do from that point on.

 

As for your kink I get the not sharing part, I don't share mine and it is legal, I just don't want the questions.

I has a GF who has something similar, though had other kinks too so it was not a be all. On a number of occasions I got dressed up with clothes and make-up to represent a scene she wanted and had a cold bath to cool my skin. It was not perfect but I didn't find it strange to act for her.

I hope you find an understanding partner.

 

[GhoulFriend]

On 12/13/2020 at 3:19 PM, BrianW said:

I have worked with people whose kinks are illegal if they carry them out and sometimes the catharsis of just talking about it is such a relief. The vast majority wouldn't consider breaking the law and I work with those that struggle with the knowledge that they can't.

Not one of those people is a bad person.

The ones that have 'fallen off the wagon' are also not bad people as it's normally a weak moment and says nothing of their character, we then work on what to do from that point on.

 

As for your kink I get the not sharing part, I don't share mine and it is legal, I just don't want the questions.

I has a GF who has something similar, though had other kinks too so it was not a be all. On a number of occasions I got dressed up with clothes and make-up to represent a scene she wanted and had a cold bath to cool my skin. It was not perfect but I didn't find it strange to act for her.

I hope you find an understanding partner.

I definitely feel a lot better when I can talk/write about it, for sure! I've honestly come close to having a couple of weak moments, myself, but have managed to stop myself knowing it's just not worth the risks. For the most part I can live a very normal life. But I've also had days where those feelings get intrusive and I have to distract myself or express it some other way. It's weird being me! Finding this site has been a great outlet though to share some of these thoughts. 

I do hope I can find a partner or even just a good friend who could role-play that way, too. It sounds like it'd be fun if they could play it out realistically enough. I've yet to find anyone else in my area who "gets" that sort of thing, though! 

[Shadow-cast-by-the-Sun]

20 hours ago, GhoulFriend said:

I definitely feel a lot better when I can talk/write about it, for sure! I've honestly come close to having a couple of weak moments, myself, but have managed to stop myself knowing it's just not worth the risks. For the most part I can live a very normal life. But I've also had days where those feelings get intrusive and I have to distract myself or express it some other way. It's weird being me! Finding this site has been a great outlet though to share some of these thoughts. 

I do hope I can find a partner or even just a good friend who could role-play that way, too. It sounds like it'd be fun if they could play it out realistically enough. I've yet to find anyone else in my area who "gets" that sort of thing, though! 

I really feel you on this one. Thank you for sharing. It's incredible to hear about someone who has this kind of interest. Mine seems to be... borderline hybristophilia. So, I really get you. You poly? We could totally share. (joke - just FYI - for legal reasons XD )

 

This is my contribution to the discussion...

 

Recently, I've been questioning my sexuality. For a very long time, I've considered myself demisexual and extremely kinky. However, since the pandemic has basically reduced my opportunities to indulge in kink to near-zero, I've been realising that my sexual interests are a great deal less apparent with my non-kinky (or kink-incompatible) partners. They don't seem to be based on how connected I am to a person or my feelings for them.

 

My kink interests are pretty extreme and I've indulged them with a very select group of people (separately, mostly. lol). My interests include forced sex, consensual non-consent relationships, bladed weapons, fear and a specific flavour of emotional pain. They're very sexual, too, though not in a 'I want sex and I'm indulging myself for me' - more in a 'I don't want sex to be optional for me and kind of don't want to enjoy it too much either'. I'm happy to elaborate for anyone interested. I just don't want to labour the point here. 🙂

 

Outside of that, though, I love my partners. Most of them are either not kinky or not fully compatible with my kink interests. For them, I definitely feel attraction - but my sexual attraction is infrequent and unreliable. Both of my non-kink-compatible partners (one not kinky and the other a bratty bottom / sub) are amazing and I love snuggling with them, kissing and intimate, all-night chats. But my interest in sex... well, it's just not often there when I might otherwise expect it. It's not that I'm 'turned off'. I love them both and I want to be close to them, to spend time together and be intimate. But I just don't feel anything sexual a lot of the time. It's not 'wrong'. It's just completely absent... except when it isn't. My libido seems pretty disconnected from my attraction to people and often appears just when I'm having a duvet day rather than when I've got someone I love in my bed. lol

 

As for my kinks, I seem to be sexually attracted (in the way I described above) to sociopathic people and the kind of darkness that you come across once in a lifetime (and maybe not even that often). A previous casual partner of mine, who I eventually had to drop because of his increasingly poor communication, was probably the closest I have ever gotten to kink-compatible. I was careful - I always am. We negotiated carefully and I consented (and did not to many other things he would also have wanted). He sent me wild, this man. I nearly lost my cool. lol. He was sadistic in the extreme and had a serious empathy deficit, though he wasn't sociopathic specifically. He probably would have been in a secure institution if he'd not had 'rules'. His words, not mine. 

 

My safe harbour is my Owner. With him I have a consensual non-consent relationship and the lack of choice really does it for me. I've been willingly and happily without orgasm for over five years, now, at his instruction. I've never had a lack of desire around him but I'm not remotely interested in him making an effort for my pleasure.

 

This has gotten long, hasn't it? TL;DR - I'm leaning towards thinking that I'm actually grey-ace, except for the kink part, but I'd like to understand more about others' experiences and get some second opinions on it. Nothing seems to fit together and I'm lacking in context and an understanding of how others, particularly grey-aces, feel. This seemed like the best place and the best thread for that. I would really appreciate others' thoughts.