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Yes, I consider feeding a little messed up. I can't really do much chub, like at most a little overweight. It tends to just be disgusting to me after a certain point. 

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RakshaTheCat
7 hours ago, Cocothecoconut said:

I have alot of kinks(which i wanna hold private unless someone wanna message me about it) one of them is actually thick men.

This actually counts as kink? I thought it's more like a body type preference. I actually like plump myself (luckily, I m quite plump, so I like my body a lot), but for me, kinky is what I like to do with such body (mmm, my brand new 12g needles, got so much lovely blood with just one... 😸)

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1 hour ago, Marcin said:

This actually counts as kink? I thought it's more like a body type preference. I actually like plump myself (luckily, I m quite plump, so I like my body a lot), but for me, kinky is what I like to do with such body (mmm, my brand new 12g needles, got so much lovely blood with just one... 😸)

There are actually someone who see it as a fetish(but maybe it’s because it’s related to the feeder fetish). Body preference might be the better word to me. But i like both skinny and thick characters. I’m glad that you love your body just as it is. 

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So I am a gray asexual and I have never had sex. But a friend and I were discussing kink the other day and she had me take a BDSM personality test. I learned that, although I am not into pain, humiliation, or that type of stuff, I do have a strong tendency towards being a dom. That makes a lot of sense for me, because I have a very independent, assertive personality. The most I've ever done was make out with a partner, but I always prefer to call the shots. I decide when I want to start and stop and how I want things to go. Those types of situations make me feel powerful and attractive, because I see my partner enjoying it. I also tell my partner if I don't want to be touched at all right now, and expect them to listen. Some guys have complained that my personality, not sexually but overall, is too assertive or stubborn or agressive or bossy, and framed those as bad traits. Getting those test results boosted my confidence, because I learned that plenty of people would find my "dominance" attractive and enjoy it. I also learned that I can enjoy reading about some "mild" kink, while reading about PIV makes me feel sick.

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10 minutes ago, NicoleHolmes said:

So I am a gray asexual and I have never had sex. But a friend and I were discussing kink the other day and she had me take a BDSM personality test. I learned that, although I am not into pain, humiliation, or that type of stuff, I do have a strong tendency towards being a dom. That makes a lot of sense for me, because I have a very independent, assertive personality. The most I've ever done was make out with a partner, but I always prefer to call the shots. I decide when I want to start and stop and how I want things to go. Those types of situations make me feel powerful and attractive, because I see my partner enjoying it. I also tell my partner if I don't want to be touched at all right now, and expect them to listen. Some guys have complained that my personality, not sexually but overall, is too assertive or stubborn or agressive or bossy, and framed those as bad traits. Getting those test results boosted my confidence, because I learned that plenty of people would find my "dominance" attractive and enjoy it. I also learned that I can enjoy reading about some "mild" kink, while reading about PIV makes me feel sick.

We're very much in a the same and would clash heads. I'm a very dominant person but am not super outright about it. Mostly bc I haven't transitioned yet. PIV is something I'm trying to look more into as it is still a way to make my partner feel good (but i'd have to get the magina stretched... ow). Then again im probably never going to have sex so YAY.

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16 minutes ago, KrysLost said:

We're very much in a the same and would clash heads. I'm a very dominant person but am not super outright about it. Mostly bc I haven't transitioned yet. PIV is something I'm trying to look more into as it is still a way to make my partner feel good (but i'd have to get the magina stretched... ow). Then again im probably never going to have sex so YAY.

Possible TMI? Probly not on a kink thread though.

I am not interested in PIV.

On the test I was classified as a nurturing type rather than a brutal type dom. That sounded very accurate. I loved to take care of my previous partners. He could lay his head in my lap and I would play with his hair. I loved to hold him and comfort him when he was down. I liked to be the "big spoon" even though he said that was odd. I enjoyed being in charge of the making out and would be direct about what I did and did not like (ie "if you put your tongue in my mouth I don't want tk kiss you anymore" lol). Some folks find that directness jarring, but I learned on this test that some people find that very helpful and attractive.  I loved watching and feeling him react, but I would not go out of my way or do something I was uncomfortable with, just for his pleasure. 

It's cool that gray-aces can enjoy this stuff without having penetration. 

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13 minutes ago, Arodash said:

So I have a question for everyone I don't know if this goes back to being Ace is it normal to feel uncomfortable with expressing The Kinks and fetishes that you do have? Is it normal to want to keep them to yourself I don't know if this was the right place to ask but seeing as how it's a posting about Kinks and fetishes I'll admit I do have some but my question is is it okay for me to not want to express what those are

I think its normal for lots of people, sexuals and asexuals, to keep their kinks relatively private. I'm sure there are plenty of people who only share those things with their partners. I don't talk to most  people about it. Personally I'm only discussing it on here because I'm learning about my sexuality and none of the members know me in person! 😂

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1 minute ago, NicoleHolmes said:

Possible TMI? Probly not on a kink thread though.

I am not interested in PIV.

On the test I was classified as a nurturing type rather than a brutal type dom. That sounded very accurate. I loved to take care of my previous partners. He could lay his head in my lap and I would play with his hair. I loved to hold him and comfort him when he was down. I liked to be the "big spoon" even though he said that was odd. I enjoyed being in charge of the making out and would be direct about what I did and did not like (ie "if you put your tongue in my mouth I don't want tk kiss you anymore" lol). Some folks find that directness jarring, but I learned on this test that some people find that very helpful and attractive.  I loved watching and feeling him react, but I would not go out of my way or do something I was uncomfortable with, just for his pleasure. 

It's cool that gray-aces can enjoy this stuff without having penetration. 

We're in the same boats. However I'm a mix of brutality and nurturing. I do greatly enjoy taking care of my partnering but I'm very sadistic when it comes to a power trip. So I will not hesitate to make them submit, and will definite tease the hell out of them until they cry and beg. I'm also pretty possessive (not on an unhealthy level), in the sense I like to mark up what is mine. So lots of hickeys, bite marks, and scratches. Possible burns too depending on what they want. I've alway found temperature play to be interesting though I imagine it would be rope burns from shibari (even then those aren't something you want).

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Just now, Arodash said:

That's actually pretty eat forward on here and it's also because you know it's people who can relate I don't think I've ever really share them with my partner either just one of those things

Hmm, I've learned the hard way that I would not feel safe and comfortable with a partner with whom we couldn't share things like that about ourselves. But I'm weird... 😺

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My main kink is sploshing/WAM. Fortunately can be done without sex if a partner wishes.

I am also a sub, but can top if asked.

I have a few little things that ping some part of my brain occasionally.

I have the worlds least sexy porn folder.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Am i the only one that likes the idea of temperature play? Not on myself personally but I love the idea of how it would make a person feel. To watch them shudder under cold ice or use them as my canvas, watch hot wax roll down their thighs and leave beautiful burnnns.

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4 hours ago, KrysLost said:

Am i the only one that likes the idea of temperature play? Not on myself personally but I love the idea of how it would make a person feel. To watch them shudder under cold ice or use them as my canvas, watch hot wax roll down their thighs and leave beautiful burnnns.

I like the sensation of hot wax, but not so hot that it leaves burns. A redded skin without pain after cooling the wax would be okay. Dripping wax on someone and watching their reaction seems fun to me.

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I'm aroused by sexual and romantic scenarios of fictional characters in fantasy. And the nature of my fetish is similar to that, it only turns me on in fantasy, not in real life. I consider it a softer variant of dacryphilia - arousal from tears and crying. The scenarios have to be fairly light with a positive outcome or else I'll accidentally make myself sad and it loses its appeal. 

I've had this for basically my whole life, as long as I can remember. I think it started when I was four. It's completely random and I have no idea why my brain decided this would be the thing that grabs me as I didn't have a bad childhood, but there it is. 

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RakshaTheCat
29 minutes ago, confusedbat said:

I consider it a softer variant of dacryphilia - arousal from tears and crying. The scenarios have to be fairly light with a positive outcome or else I'll accidentally make myself sad and it loses its appeal. 

I've had this for basically my whole life, as long as I can remember. I think it started when I was four. It's completely random and I have no idea why my brain decided this would be the thing that grabs me as I didn't have a bad childhood, but there it is. 

Hmm, I see some similarities to mine, I do like scenarios with tears and they generally are positive in a way that participants accept whatever happens, but they are also a bit sad, scary and touching (very vulnerable), to get some nice emotions out of them... Although mine don't involve sex at all. 😺

 

And yeah, it's funny how things like that are with us basically from the beginning of our lives... 😺

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Hmm I'm similar to that in a sense, I've had fantasies of comforting characters. However in a sexual sense my sadism plays a major role in my enjoyment of tears. Also being dominant in general. Tears of pleasure are super cute. Not sure so much about pain though, maybe if they really enjoy it. 

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On 6/2/2019 at 9:24 PM, bare_trees said:

So, I'm a cardiophile and I find your post relatable because I used to get involved in the online communities for cardiophiles, but I never fit in.  It was mostly guys, and every time a woman posted anything, she would immediately get a ton of messages from horny guys (or maybe all fetish sites are this way, idk).  Also, it was all quite hypersexual to me, and a lot of the posts, stories, fanfic, etc. had violent elements (and by default non-consensual content), and I was not ok with that at all.

I'm a cardiophile too! I'm also into physical exams more generally, especially abdominal exams. I have very vivid fantasies about exploring another person's body and having them explore mine in a mostly clinical-type setting. I've had the same experience as you on cardiophile/kink websites, though -- totally turned off by the hypersexuality and violence of some of the stories/fanfic that people share. (I'm a guy so I've been mostly spared the creepy messages.) For me the best thing is just YouTube videos of how to perform physical exam techniques, or people who have recorded their heartbeat.

 

If I were ever to play with this fetish in real life, I'd want the scene to be overall realistic and maybe a bit sensualized, but not sexualized. "Sensualized" meaning taking an extra long time enjoying the person's heart sounds, performing abdominal palpation so that it gradually turns into something more like a caress, things like that. Make the other person feel like you're examining them because you care about their health, coming at it from a place of genuine love, not from the professional standpoint of an actual medical provider. You're making sure they're okay, and you're also making being examined a pleasant experience for them that makes them feel loved and cared about.

 

I've had these fantasies for years but they've become a bigger interest/drive in the past year or so. I have no idea how/whether I want to explore them. I'm afraid to take that first step of meeting up with someone to do this. Personal safety risks aside (they're important....but everyone knows what they are so I don't feel the need to talk about them here), I'd be afraid I'd get into the situation and then have it not be anywhere near what I had imagined, in terms of my reaction to it and enjoyment of it. I also can't imagine doing this with someone I don't know well, but I also can't imagine doing it with someone I do know well. (Well, actually, I *do* imagine doing it with one or two people in particular who I know well, but I can't imagine *actually* doing it with them...they're both good friends, and I would be mortified if they knew that they are the stand-ins for my grey-asexual fantasies.)

 

Ugh, this is so confusing.

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@cesario358 That's so cool that there's at least one other cardiophile here! :D  I know just what you mean about friend fantasies.  When I was younger, I was a lot more willing to possibly scare people away by asking if I could listen to their hearts, and some friends said yes!  That said, we didn't do anything as elaborate as what you've described, or what was in my own fantasies.  It was awesome, looking back, but also never quite what I imagined, because I don't know if it's ever what it could be if the other person doesn't share those strong feelings about it.

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I know what you mean -- and I hate thinking about how hard it would be to find someone who is also into heart/medical stuff in a way that would make it mutual and interesting, *but* who is not so sex-driven about it that they would want something I wouldn't be willing to do. I think that what I would want out of an encounter would be totally unsatisfying for most sexual people who have this fetish. I desperately want to connect with someone physically in this way, but I don't even know where to start because I feel like my experience of it is just really different from other people's.

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A bit of an aside but thank you, everyone. You've managed to make me understand/suspect something that I didn't before. A good friend of mine (with whom I've half-tried a physical relationship) always seemed so happy when he got to listen to my heart.

 

I thought it was a normal thing romantic people did and (being aromantic, though I didn't have a word for it back then) I always panicked. Like...'am I supposed to do the same? Am I supposed to say sweet stuff back? These things come naturally for everyone but me...' Reading this sort of reassures me that it was all right if I didn't know how to react.

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1 hour ago, Omelette said:

I thought it was a normal thing romantic people did and (being aromantic, though I didn't have a word for it back then) I always panicked. Like...'am I supposed to do the same? Am I supposed to say sweet stuff back? These things come naturally for everyone but me...' Reading this sort of reassures me that it was all right if I didn't know how to react.

I think some romantic people may like to listen to their partner's heart without it being a huge thing for them like it is for bare_trees and me. But yeah, cardiophile-level interest definitely not a universal thing for romantic people and I'm sure there are plenty of romantic people who wouldn't be into it or wouldn't be sure how to react to someone who liked listening to hearts. It's a common topic of discussion on forums related to this fetish.

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Hmm I sure wouldn't mind if someone wanted to listen to my heart. Cardiophilia sounds like the cutest thing ever to me and it would be hella cute in a partner. Then again I'm not really put off my most things. 

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I don't where to start. I haven't been on here in over a year. And I'm sure whatever I said on the topic probably changed. Maybe not. I haven't checked my old posts. 

But I guess I can just start with one thing and go from there. I'm into female led relationships. I don't see it as a kino or fetish so much as a relationship preference. But since it isn't really the norm, I'm counting it, lol.

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It's good you know what you want. Kink versus preference...I can understand the labeling dilemma.

 

I guess trying to figure out my preferences has been causing me some grief recently. There's some fantasies that easily fall within the 'kink' umbrella, like masochism and bondage, and there's others that feel too 'innocent' for it, like my wish for head pats and praise and being wrapped in blankets. Which I guess some people would say falls under ddlg/cglg, but I wouldn't be comfortable straight up calling it that (it'd be a bit like saying that I like falafel but without the chickpeas). Add to that the fact that I have fantasies that are sort of in-between (eg. masochistic, but with verbal reassurance and head pats) and that sometimes I'm more comfortable with sensual stuff and sometimes I'm not, and...

 

I just end up feeling guilty, and confused. As in, it feels wrong to have aspects of my 'innocent' fantasies play such an important role in my BDSM fantasies and worse, in the sensual ones. And on the reverse side, I feel guilty for this childish side of me having lots of limits, lots of things I'm not comfortable with that are common, which means that by BDSM standards I'm so tame I'm practically vanilla. Except that I don't fit in the vanilla dating world either...It feels like I fit nowhere.

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2 minutes ago, Omelette said:

 

I just end up feeling guilty, and confused. As in, it feels wrong to have aspects of my 'innocent' fantasies play such an important role in my BDSM fantasies and worse, in the sensual ones. And on the reverse side, I feel guilty for this childish side of me having lots of limits, lots of things I'm not comfortable with that are common, which means that by BDSM standards I'm so tame I'm practically vanilla. Except that I don't fit in the vanilla dating world either...It feels like I fit nowhere.

Having a lot of limits makes it more difficult to find a matching partner. But you don't have to be into everything to be kinky. For example I like bondage but not submission and dominance. I want to be asked when something is done to me while I am bound and I want the answer to be respected. The same when I am binding someone, I ask them what they want during the scene and react to it. Many kinksters I know love head pats and cuddling. I love being asked if the pain feels good and I ask my partners if they like the pain.

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7 hours ago, Bloc said:

Having a lot of limits makes it more difficult to find a matching partner. But you don't have to be into everything to be kinky. For example I like bondage but not submission and dominance. I want to be asked when something is done to me while I am bound and I want the answer to be respected. The same when I am binding someone, I ask them what they want during the scene and react to it. Many kinksters I know love head pats and cuddling. I love being asked if the pain feels good and I ask my partners if they like the pain.

Thank you. I don't know when I'll actually start interacting with the community irl (maybe never), given my mental health issues, but what you shared is reassuring and I'll keep it in mind.

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RakshaTheCat
9 hours ago, Omelette said:

(eg. masochistic, but with verbal reassurance and head pats)

That's my thing too (both ways though, I seem to be symmetrical), I'd call it friendly kind of sadomoasochism, but from my limited exposure to the local scene, something like that is very rare. Humiliation, degradation and brattiness seem to be usually defaults...

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