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KrysLost

Kinks, Fantasies, Fetishes, their all here for you.

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KrysLost

just threw up and am now going to cry in a corner. just found out im 5'1...not 5'2, not 5'3... an inch off from what i thought and now most of my dignity is shattered. 

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Omelette

*offers a blanket*

 

It's okay, Krystal. If it helps, other people around you mind it far far far less than you do right now...I know it seems vital, but people are so complex, and height is such a small part of it.

 

I guess my kinks are mostly in fantasy for now. I identify as a bottom, mostly a masochist, with some submissive tendencies. I find it very calming to be tied up. I like stingy and scratchy pain. I guess I fantasize more about the esthetics of a power dynamic than about power dynamic in themselves, which is a hard thing to explain. For example...I guess I fantasize about kneeling, and being cared for, and obeying 'orders', but those orders would be about things I want to do in the first place. The idea of punishments, of pushing limits or that I should want to do things I don't like because the top wishes it...is not something which I feel into. I have to be careful about expressing this part of me in a healthy manner, however, because otherwise that need to be cared for can express itself as me unloading my emotional regulation onto others.

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KrysLost

Well actually what you said is quite normal. In reality, it isn't the top/dom (there can be dominant bottoms and submissive tops) that's holds the power. It's actually the sub that does, everything that happens the sub must be comfortable with and it's their call if they say the safe word. The other partner also has the power but typically the scene focuses on the subs need in my eyes. While the dom may have the illusion of power in the scene, the real power lies with the sub as it's the dom's responsibility to care for them. Aftercare is also EXTREMELY important. 

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Omelette

Right. I understand that! I was just saying, that I don't enjoy the idea of some things that appear to be commonly associated with submission when it comes to myself. I feel that it's totally fair that other people can enjoy them in a fun and consensual manner : )

 

Like, some people 'enjoy' (in some way) doing things they don't actually enjoy in order to please a partner. That's not something I can imagine for myself. Some people like to have rules, and punishments if they break those rules. I'm sure it works great for many people, but I doubt it would work for me...as I'm the type of person who hangs onto guilt like a remora to a shark. Some people enjoy a harsh emotional approach, but I'd probably break down from it.

 

And so on. I'm simply saying that these things are probably not for me, not that they're wrong in an absolute manner. I can understand that the respective bottoms can still be very well cared for by their tops and feel amazing, but it is not something that my brain would interpret in the same way when applied to myself )

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KrysLost

mhm I like the idea of being a bit harsh because again I'm a sadist, however whatever happens in the bedroom (limits) and how I take my approach is entirely up to the sub. 

I still have the limits too though. Personally I don't like causing  any pain that isn't consented. I just want to take care of my baby in every way I can. .w.

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Tarento
40 minutes ago, Omelette said:

I have to be careful about expressing this part of me in a healthy manner, however, because otherwise that need to be cared for can express itself as me unloading my emotional regulation onto others.

100% feel you on this. Thanks for putting it into words!

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KrysLost

We all have that part of ourselves, it comes with being human. I just get it out in the forms of being a grumpy cat and pets.

Now i get a free blanket yay

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KrysLost

Finding a partner who's compatible with you in the crowd of sexual people is bound to be difficult.

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oldgeeza

I've been to a fetish event, I've attended the event on several occasions, I've been working there, I have looked on out of curiosity I can't deny that, it was a BDSM event, the thought of being tied up/restrained for a person who's claustrophobic really turned my stomach, people inflicting pain on each other, well it's a bit like watching boxing or some sort of violent sport, just that one person inflicts the pain as the other accepts it, weird really but it floats their boat, it wasn't sexual, just a little odd.

 

Someone else here mentioned watching porn, I recall being a guinea pig for viagra, they gave us porn to look at in the form of magazines and videos, I flicked through the magazines and just saw naked bodies, I watched movies and fell asleep out of boredom. Not really bothered by fetishes, but as long as it's legal and consensual, I don't see anything wrong with it

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KrysLost

mhm, sometimes it's just the intimacy that draws people in

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Omelette

To be fair, prior to figuring out that I'm into BDSM, I'd have found it so fucking strange and frightening.

 

In retrospect, there were signs even before that. I always found some pain scenes in fiction absolutely thrilling - especially those written from the receiver's point of view.

 

And then one day* my brain goes 'oh, wait, people can like that in reality? I think it does sound kind of enjoyable...Doesn't it? Wait, other people like that too? Oh, I guess it's normal then'

 

*it wasn't that simple, but this is the shorthand

 

Brains are fascinating xD

Edited by Omelette

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KrysLost

And I find having complete control and inflicting painful to be extremely thrilling; I like feeling powerful and having someone at my mercy.

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KrysLost

well i dont think im ace per-say and I do think i'd like sex (might just have to be with the right person) 

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Ita25
On 3/18/2019 at 9:33 AM, sh1965 said:

This is probably the one thing that confuses me having coming to terms with being Asexual and finding it explains and answers so much. But I do have fantasies and kinks though I have no sexual attraction and no desire or inclination for sex.

Amen! I'm in the same boat. 

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Ita25

I feel weird about discussing this because I feel like I'll be judged but I think the people in here are pretty open and respectful so here it goes. I'm really into tickling and it does cause arousal. I've ran into issues though. I found a tickling fetish community online but it's almost entirely either people that are into hardcore stuff like torture or fantasies that are non-consensual OR people that want it to be explicitly sexual in nature. I don't even fit in within that community because I am nothing like that. My kink would be tickling between people within a relationship, totally consensual and fun for both people involved. 

 

As for diving into why I like this? I think it partially plays into my lack of sexual attraction but desire for sensual attraction. It's a way to get close and touch your partner without it being explicitly sexual. Also, I LOVE that it allows couples to smile and laugh together. I'm never opposed to a little bit of teasing, but nothing harmful, stuff that both people enjoy and laugh at. As I said, this activity/fantasy/kink does cause me to become aroused, but I still have no interest in it leading to sex, if that makes sense. 

 

When did this start for me? Honestly, I'm not sure if it was there before this, it may have, but my first real memory of it was with my first GF. This was when I was about 16/17 years old. She used to be so into tickling. She'd sneak up behind me and grab my sides when we were just friends, but when we started dating we came up with all kinds of different games involving it. It was a major part of our physical relationship. Really enjoyable. We laughed together so much. 

 

One reason I hesitate to tell anyone about this kink is because I feel like a lot of people will immediately assume I'm into tying someone down and tickling them against their will, and that couldn't be further from the truth for me. Honestly I find that repulsive and disturbing. I saw so many guys like that on the website I mentioned and I immediately stopped going on the site. 

 

Hope this fits with this thread! 

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KrysLost

nah that's normal, personally I'm not super down for anything that isn't consensual.

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dragon_cake

I can have sexual fantasies and think I wouldn't mind experimenting only few specific kinds such as rubbing against each other below when clothed or things that are non-penetrative or anywhere near my mouth but don't have anyone in mind (No strangers nor someone I know) Although I would prefer trying with someone I'm comfortable with. Sometimes I also wonder if it will be as cute to cuddle with someone naked together in reality than in my head.

Is there a word for those who experience arousal or interest in either sex, sexual activity, etc. but not feel any sexual attraction to the person and even willing to participate in it?

Personally, I know I experience aesthetic attraction but I'm super curious if there are others who either relate or have a term for what I've mentioned above. I'm not entirely sure if these counts as kinks or not.

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dragon_cake
On 3/20/2019 at 2:29 PM, KrystalLost said:

Damn, I feel ya. Huge virgin here and wishing I could branch out into this stuff, but can't because I don't trust people for shit. To be honest it always freaks me out if it seems like I'm submissive, because it's like n o i  do n 't WANNA. could be lack of experience in literally everything considering i haven't even kissed someone in years. if only i was taller 

This is a big mood

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Galacticat42
On 3/17/2019 at 10:29 PM, KrystalLost said:

Pet play can be very fun, I've never done it personally though. Since I act like a cat a lot it can be a good release, however it cannot be sexual or have any power dynamics because it bruises by pride. (so basically ill just act like an angry cat and chase around a laser with a friend for kicks and giggles, and get free pets.) ; D (other than than i am an owner when it comes to pet play) 

omg I love it! 😍

 

As for myself, I've always been sub, but forced to be dom. Always had fantasies of being tied up and helpless, even had a rather vivid dream once about being hung from the ceiling with my master letting others have fun with me.

 

Unfortunately, I've never been able to experience anything like this. First GF had EDS and was physically incapable of being dom, while my second GF was a sub herself and never dared be a dom... While I can be dom, I just don't get off on it.

 

I would love to be someone's cat, and somewhat related, I would absolutely love to have a foot taken off of my height and just be smaller. I'm 5'11" with broad shoulders and heavy body dysphoria.

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pma01

I have so many fantasies and fetishes, and kinks that I would like to talk about and try, nothing involving penetrative sex, simply not into that, but I don’t have anyone and don’t really know how to even get started

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KrysLost

well that's what this thread is for, so talk away.

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Dreamsexual

.

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Dreamsexual

.

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KrysLost

Uh my choking kink has more or less gone away (at least the idea of it being done to me, as for giving hmmm owo)

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KrysLost

having control gives me a massive thrill so im not too worried about being a sub 

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pma01

Well, where to start. I have quite a few fetish’s and kinks, Iam big into orgasm denial, masturbation, true redheads, girls with glasses. And more.
I don’t have any experience with bdsm but I know I would probably be a sub, as I would like to bee restrained and spanked and other things, Iam into rough masturbation, use of Ben gay on my genitals.

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Squirrel Combat

Ugh! Sometimes I feel it's so hopeless. Asexual gal that also has a boot fetish? Where/when will I find HER? I'm having one of those moments where I feel I just can't have it both ways.

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Chihiro
26 minutes ago, Squirrel Combat said:

Ugh! Sometimes I feel it's so hopeless. Asexual gal that also has a boot fetish? Where/when will I find HER? I'm having one of those moments where I feel I just can't have it both ways.

If you can find another asexual in your locality consider yourself lucky LOL. Specific asexuals like that are probably in some corner of the world :P 

 

I am not sure what exactly boot fetish involves, but many women like shoes. Someone like me, for instance, would love to have a shoe collection so adding boots to the collection won't be a big deal. Especially in cold climates, I wear boots most of the time anyway. So, if I ever fall for someone who likes to see me in boots, I would totally wear it to please them (although I would be dominating over them majority of time). Anyway, my point is you just have to find someone who doesn't mind boots and is eager to please you. I don't think its that difficult to find them (the difficult part imo is finding someone you click with). I feel like this particular kink is something even a vanilla person would do, provided she is adventurous and open to experimentation and likes boots and likes you too :P Good luck!

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bare_trees
On 3/31/2019 at 11:21 PM, Ita25 said:

I found a tickling fetish community online but it's almost entirely either people that are into hardcore stuff like torture or fantasies that are non-consensual OR people that want it to be explicitly sexual in nature. I don't even fit in within that community because I am nothing like that. My kink would be tickling between people within a relationship, totally consensual and fun for both people involved. 

So, I'm a cardiophile and I find your post relatable because I used to get involved in the online communities for cardiophiles, but I never fit in.  It was mostly guys, and every time a woman posted anything, she would immediately get a ton of messages from horny guys (or maybe all fetish sites are this way, idk).  Also, it was all quite hypersexual to me, and a lot of the posts, stories, fanfic, etc. had violent elements (and by default non-consensual content), and I was not ok with that at all.

 

I've been a cardiophile for as long as I can remember.  When I was around four and first found out what a stethoscope was, I was obsessed with having one.  Weirdly, though, it hasn't been as important to me in recent years, and I can't explain why, exactly.  I think it has something to do with the medication I'm on, which lowers my libido (which I think wasn't super high to begin with).

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Dreamsexual
On ‎6‎/‎3‎/‎2019 at 2:24 AM, bare_trees said:

So, I'm a cardiophile

.

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