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What would your ideal relationship look like?


Miss Okapi

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I'm just curious what your ideal relationship would look like?.. that is, is you want to be in a relationship or aren't already in a happy relationship.

For me (I doubt it is ever going to happen) I imagine my perfect long-term relationship would be living with a close friend about my own age (guy or lady) , more like a brother/sister than a romantic partner... not doing anything more than hugging/cuddling with clothes on. That might sound strange or it might not.
Anyway, how about you?

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Me and a can of BBQ pringles sat on the sofa watching TV.

 

..On a serious note, pretty much the same as you. 

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a best friend, but also a bit of my polar opposite so we could push each other to greater lengths

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For me, it would be hard to find, but Ideally I would have a husband or maybe wife, and live together with dogs. Cuddles and kisses are all good, nothing further for me, and ummm just living my best life lol

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NickyTannock
My ideal relationship would be one where it's like we don't exist together, without conflict or expectation of sex or romance.
 
I picture them reading a book while I'm on a laptop computer, and neither one of us will say a word.
 
It might sound strange, but I'd find that so relaxing.
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Sage Raven Domino

I'm notorious for the adoration of relationship contracts like Sheldon Cooper's roommate agreement :P Everything is negotiable but may have a price in cash or kind.

 

I understand that it's hard to attain, but meh, I'm not looking actively for a companion. 

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andreas1033

None, the only companions i have, are my dogs, and i just love how dogs give there owners unconditional love.

 

Humans are all users. I will always be glad i was asexual, and i wanted nout from other humans, in terms of love, or sex, thankfully.

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Galactic Turtle

A small group of two or three friends with dedicated diner nights every Thursday... or every other Thursday. We'll meet up on Saturdays too if a good movie is out.

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RoseGoesToYale

Basically like a best friend, but we hug and cuddle and kiss, too.

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user23974865
2 hours ago, MichaelTannock said:
My ideal relationship would be one where it's like we don't exist together, without conflict or expectation of sex or romance.
 
I picture them reading a book while I'm on a laptop computer, and neither one of us will say a word.
 
It might sound strange, but I'd find that so relaxing.

I think most people wouldn't see that as enough, but I think many would agree (as I do) that this is practically the definition of what it means to be comfortable with someone.

 

That level of comfort is something I just don't experience in real life though, so relationships to me are something that exists only in the realm of fantasy, too detached from reality for me to even define what "the ideal" would be. So I guess it depends on my mood.

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abandoned-account

I'm not entirely sure yet, but I think I would like something like the OP said. A romantic/QPR-type thing (I guess it depends on what you'd consider "romantic" or not) with some physical affection like hugs but nothing sexual. Mostly though just being with someone I can feel close and comfortable with where we can be there for one another when we need it, like family. No human children at all, but maybe a few pets would be ok.

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What is my ideal relationship? Hmm... 

 

When I came to AVEN and found out what a QPR is, I really liked the sound of that. I like what @Vee. said about being with someone that I can feel close and comfortable with where we can be there for each other, like family. Being best friends would be nice too. Someone that understood me and could accept me would be great. Similar to what @MichaelTannock said about being together and not having to always talk to each other. I'm all for deep discussions, but it would be awesome to be with someone and to feel so comfortable that you can do your own thing without there always having to be chatter. 

 

Oh, and animals would be a must! That goes without saying! :D 

 

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Lost_in_Darkness

It's silly, but I would like to find a good husband that never wants sex in a relationship. We would have cats instead of children. Kissing and cuddling with our clothes on would be enough to make me happy. And plenty of friends as well.

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2 hours ago, Vee. said:

I'm not entirely sure yet, but I think I would like something like the OP said. A romantic/QPR-type thing (I guess it depends on what you'd consider "romantic" or not) with some physical affection like hugs but nothing sexual. Mostly though just being with someone I can feel close and comfortable with where we can be there for one another when we need it, like family. No human children at all, but maybe a few pets would be ok.

I feel pretty much the same as you.

Though it'd be nice to touch foreheads and maybe cuddle (with clothes on of course) while watching a movie. Though I'd like to live with said person though Im positive I'd want separate rooms to sleep in and to have our own rooms.

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abandoned-account
2 hours ago, DuskFire said:

I feel pretty much the same as you.

Though it'd be nice to touch foreheads and maybe cuddle (with clothes on of course) while watching a movie. Though I'd like to live with said person though Im positive I'd want separate rooms to sleep in and to have our own rooms.

Yeah, definitely! I'm not keen on the idea of sharing a bed. Plus alone time is still important (especially for us introverts) and I think a good partner would understand and respect that.

That sounds like a nice way to spend time together while catching up on shows/movies and winding down in the evenings.

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11 hours ago, Miss Okapi said:

I'm just curious what your ideal relationship would look like?.. that is, is you want to be in a relationship or aren't already in a happy relationship.

For me (I doubt it is ever going to happen) I imagine my perfect long-term relationship would be living with a close friend about my own age (guy or lady) , more like a brother/sister than a romantic partner... not doing anything more than hugging/cuddling with clothes on. That might sound strange or it might not.
Anyway, how about you?

It doesn't sound strange, because I also would love to be with someone in a brotherly/sisterly kind of way. I would love to meet someone that shares some interests/lifestyle as I do, and I'd want to spend my life or quite a bit of it with them. I imagine us travelling together whether it's on roadtrips or overseas, experiencing new things, and then just being emotionally supportive of one another (and also not afraid to call one another out when someone is doing something stupid haha). When I talk about wanting a QPR I usually lean more towards having a guy, but I'm open to women as well. I guess I lean more towards men because I feel safe and protected by them (plus I'm able to feel aesthetic attraction towards some guys which is really nice!), and we usually have more in common since I have a lot of male-dominated hobbies/interests. 

 

I wouldn't want any sex/romance involved though... the most I could do is maybe just sitting really close together or leaning on one another. I'm not sure who mentioned it first in this thread, but I'm also echoing that my "partner" would have to understand introversion and that I sometimes need space and quiet. And space and quiet never equals that I hate them (idk why people think this tbh 😕 It makes me sad when people think I don't like them just because I don't talk 24/7). Also... I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way, but I hate receiving too much attention, so I'd love it if this person had other hobbies/interests/friends outside of me. Sometimes I get a little bit jealous when I have a squish on someone and they spend more time with another person vs me, but I think if my partner put me first most of the time I'd be OK (hopefully that made sense...).

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I suppose for me my ideal relationship would be a monogamous relationship resembling a QPR with either a male or female really. It would mostly be cuddling and hand holding with maybe small kisses. The person doesn't have to be asexual but because I am unsure how sex positive I am probably someone with a low libido so minimal sexual intimacy.  I say a man or a woman would work but in my head I always think of a guy despite all my QPR's being with women. 

 

The person would have to be ok with having kids because I know for sure I want to be a parent someday so that Is probably the only think I am not willing to negotiate on. I would prefer to have a partner who doesn't have a job that moves them around a lot. I grew up moving so much due to my father having a job like that and hated it, so I wouldn't want that as a partner or as a parent. I would like a person who's personality is more upbeat, easygoing, and possibly more extroverted. I think this would help balance me, plus I am kinda tired of being with people who are monotone and hard to read. however, the person would have to be able to understand that just because I want to be alone doesn't mean I don't care for them due to my introversion. Not all of their interests need to align with mine but having some common interests is always important.

 

In my head when I think of my ideal relationship I think of all the fun stuff like joking around, horse playing, cooking meals, doing roadtrips. The only type of intimacy I really think of is maybe hugging intensely or cuddling. Being best friends with my ideal partner is probably the most important quality I would want. 

 

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1 hour ago, Norellia said:

I suppose for me my ideal relationship would be a monogamous relationship resembling a QPR with either a male or female really. It would mostly be cuddling and hand holding with maybe small kisses. The person doesn't have to be asexual but because I am unsure how sex positive I am probably someone with a low libido so minimal sexual intimacy.  I say a man or a woman would work but in my head I always think of a guy despite all my QPR's being with women. 

I think that this would also be pretty close to my ideal relationship as well! My partener and I would also go around and do cute things together, amusement parks, coupple outfits, I have a soft spot for all those cheesy relationship things. I'd also like for my partner to be someone who's always pushing me to be better, someone who's just smarter than me to engage with my brain. Someone who I will get excited to see every time we meet up. Idealy I don't think we'd ever live together but who know what could happen...

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Chamomile_Serenity

I was reading up on personality types and it seems that what I would most want is a mindmate. That sounds about right, otherwise I'd wonder what's the point in my not being single since I've been quite happy single. So something like a committed romantic friendship. But I think I will only feel romantically attached if we can have healthy debates about... TNG or DS9... or something like that I suppose.

 

Saw this on quora "A "romanticfriendship" - is a close, physically intimate but not sexually intimate - friendship. As in, one that's got lots of cuddling, touching, hand-holding, and so forth."

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Tothedreamers

My ideal relationship is a monogamous marriage with someone whom I can trust and confide in, and with whom I am comfortable being around. There’s no pressure for affection (because I’m not, personality wise, very affectionate) or intimacy. The most intimate we would get is cuddling on the couch, fully clothed, thank you, and watching our favorite movie. Hand holding would be fine, and hugs are okay, as long as both parties are comfortable with it (again, i’m not very touchy. I don’t like people touching me unless either they ask and I give the okay, or if I initiate it) I don’t really know yet if sex is on the table, I would like to think, especially if they are sexual, that we can find a balance that satisfies us both. We would adopt children, lots of them, and have a few dogs. (Cats are a no since I’m allergic, even though I love cats) 

sorry this is so long, or if some of this doesn’t make sense. I’m bad at puting some things into words.

 

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I don't want a relationship. I'm very happy just having my kids and my cats with me; I don't need anyone else.

 

However, I will say that (long ago) when I was interested in having a relationship, what @MichaelTannock described was basically my idea of a perfect relationship - just sitting in a room reading together.

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Coffee Wolf

My ideal partner would be one where I would be able to share everything and my craziest thoughts with.  One who would help inspire my creative passions and help them to be better... but not really delve into sexual passions that kinda lose me as they descend into monotonous desires.

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Purple Wanderer

Maybe a time share wife. I like my own space too much for a full time one  😁

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LonesomeCrow

I just want an easy-going partner..someone who would do things with me like play games or watch anime.  Someone that I can fully be myself around. I'm not sure how much physical contact I can tolerate, being I've never been in a relationship, but in my mind I like hugs and cuddles. 

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I don't really know precisely, but through last years I have kind of seen/imagined little glimpses of what I would love to see.

 

For example, a couple of years ago in one cold and snowy winter evening I and my best friend were sitting by fireplace and reading. We had barely any interest in what other was reading, but if we came upon something that other would find interesting ur funny, we would read it aloud. Ad it felt really nice to be able just to relax together that way. And I would like to have that in relationship - being able to read together. 

 

Or like I made a cake for New Year's eve. And then from leftovers made a dessert, that I was going to give to a friend I was meeting next day. Next thing I know, I see my dad eating it and when he sees me upset, he just shrugs it off with  "sorry, but how was I to know?"


I didn't say enything, but my mind instantly thought, that if I ever end up togerher with anyone, that person wouldn't just shrug it of. He would say that he's sorry and that he didn't know(and he would actually mean it!) and he would offer to help me fix the situation, to help make something new.

 

Also I imagine endless hugs and cuddles and holding hands, but without expecting for it to go further than that. But when the stress of life gets too much and I hiss like a cornered stray at anyone who ties to come near me, then he would still stay there, next to me, reassuring, that he's not going to leave.

 

It would be great, if I would be with someone, who would have worked in summer camps, because that is a very important part of my life and people, who haven't experienced that, usually don't get it.  Ideally it would be someone, who would work together with me for a couple of weeks each summer with me there, but I would be okay with someone who would be okay with me talking about camps endlessly through out the rest of the year.

 

Oh, and kids. I definitely need someone, who wants kids and is totally okay, that those kids are not genetically ours, because regardles of me finding my significant other, as soon as I am financially stabile enough, I'm going for adoption. And from the moment those kids step into my home, they are going to be my top priority over anything  and anyone and that's non-negotiable.

Huh, that was long. Looks like I do know what i want after all...😅

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Guest iwanttolearn

i would like an older brother figure who is also a best friend, who accepts me for who i am. loves me unconditionally. a life partner, less than romantic but more than platonic. puts me first, and treats me like the apple of his eye. motivates me to improve myself, and we both improve together endlessly.

 

no touching and no sex, just hugging.

 

that would be a dream come true

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While meeting up with friends two-three times a week for quality time is enough for me to be happy I would like something more. Especially if I get thinking about myself a lot. I identify as demi-romantic as well as asexual and having that kind of quality time around most of the time would be amazing for me. We would cuddle, kiss, read to each other, window shop, and we would be travel buddies.

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My ideal relationship would be with someone who is also used to live alone. I mean, not too dependent, also wants to have alone time and space sometimes and so on. After I moved out from my parents' house (nearly decade ago), I've most missed everyday conversations with someone. It must be unhealthy for your mind to be this much alone. I also sometimes miss physical closeness, even if I'm really not a touchy person, like don't like hugging and stuff that much. You know, just lying one next to another, holding hands, looking into their eyes, just enjoying the fact they are present. I also like to buy/make things for people I love, and I'd love to have someone I could surprise every now and then when they least expect that >:D And it would be great extra if the person shared a passion for some subject with me!

 

What comes to the sexual orientation of the partner, I wish they were either asexual or they could live without their sexual needs depending on me. I've actually noticed that sexual people who are perfectly fine with masturbation and see it as a part of self-care (instead of thinking it's shameful or can never beat "real" sex), are unconsciously attractive to me - as that takes a lot of pressure from me to do sexual stuff. Even though I think even trying out sexual things such as helping partner to masturbate sometimes, wouldn't be totally off-limits (far as I know I think I'm not what you call sexually repulsed), but I think I'm just not able to do something regularly I have zero inner desire for.

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