Unconscious Sexual Proclivities

[Usernamethe2nd]

Hullo,

 

I have never had a crush and have never wanted to "do" anyone. Some might say I am naive, or an idiot when it comes to sexual matters. I think I understand it all too well, but have never wanted what others want. It feels as though I am apart from general humanity in that respect, an outsider. My question is to what extent do these sexual proclivities exist in a an asexual person? Some might not understand what others feel by being sexual, but I feel as though I do, just that it is not directed at anyone. (I have a libido) Anyways, to what extent might there be an innate sexual attraction in us? Wouldn't it manifest in an asexual person differently, that bubbling up from a dark unconscious well? What might that look like? Do you think that something "sexual" can reside within you despite being asexual? For myself, I notice that I can get pretty loving when it comes to humanity in general(sometimes lol) , almost like there is someone saying, "Forget all this mundane pretense, it's okay, and it will be okay." Maybe it manifests as an increased spirituality (Like a happy drunk). " Theirs is an expansive, open-hearted love, not a narrow, romantic-only variety." What do you think?

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201710/s-so-aromantic

[Snao Cone]

I can grasp sexuality to a detached degree, but that's never translated to me feeling sexual towards other people. If there is something sexual deep inside of me, I'll deal with it if it ever comes up. I don't think there is, though, because I've been in situations that one would assume would spark it if it were there. 

 

But I get what you mean about feeling strong feelings that don't fit asexual or aromantic stereotypes. If I've had enough caffeine and/or alcohol I can feel a lot of love and oneness with existence.

[Usernamethe2nd]

3 minutes ago, Snao Cone said:

If I've had enough caffeine and/or alcohol I can feel a lot of love and oneness with existence.

Ikr? : p

 

[SithLord]

I'm having trouble understanding the overall question (my brain is running on little sleep atm), but I do believe humans to have some kind of innate sexual attraction or desire. I believe that we are creatures born from sexual experience and evolution has ensured that we continue to exist through sexual experiences, and therefore we are born with sexuality being innate. However, I believe sexual orientations are the direction to which this is pointing, and asexuals just have it point nowhere specifically.

 

As to your comparison to loving humanity in general, I guess that's where my confusion comes about. I tend to dislike humanity in general, finding myself only liking individuals for the most part. 

[Usernamethe2nd]

On 3/13/2019 at 7:15 AM, sithgirlix said:

I'm having trouble understanding the overall question

Sorry, sometimes I don't get to a point when I write and just sorta ramble. I think I was trying to say that sexuality is a kind of force that is inside each of us. What might that force look like when not expressed as sexual desire? Wouldn't it be different or look different for an asexual person? Its kinda an abstract question, but that should leave it open to interpretation. : )

 

On 3/13/2019 at 7:15 AM, sithgirlix said:

However, I believe sexual orientations are the direction to which this is pointing, and asexuals just have it point nowhere specifically.

^ Interesting that you say it points to nowhere. I'm trying to figure out where does the sexual force go then? Is it just absent? I would think for something strong to turn to nothing when it comes to desire it would have to bubble up elsewhere and in a different outlet or form. Perhaps it might be lying in wait as some latent energy. XD Idk

[SithLord]

20 minutes ago, Usernamethe2nd said:

Sorry, sometimes I don't get to a point when I write and just sorta ramble. I think I was trying to say that sexuality is a kind of force that is inside each of us. What might that force look like when not expressed as sexual desire? Wouldn't it be different or look different for an asexual person? Its kinda an abstract question, but that should leave it open to interpretation. : )

 

^ Interesting that you say it points to nowhere. I'm trying to figure out where does the sexual force go then? Is it just absent? I would think for something strong to turn to nothing when it comes to desire it would have to bubble up elsewhere and in a different outlet or form. Perhaps it might be lying in wait as some latent energy. XD Idk

Now I get it, I hope. 

It might be latent energy. It might be expressed through affection towards others, like you say. For me, the little attraction I hold towards people is directed at fictional characters. I find that's probably why I'm a bit obsessed with video games and anime/manga. My bf even calls a character my crush or boyfriend because I'm a bit obsessed with him specifically right now. But I could almost identify as fictosexual, so I figured that was why.  I am friendly and open with people who share my feelings towards fictional worlds and characters which is why I love fandom communities. 

[Usernamethe2nd]

Hey! I think that's what I'm looking for. I think that is really a cool way of being involved. I like the term fictosexual XD. Very creative.

[andreas1033]

Sex drive, and sexual energy are different things.

 

Asexuals lack the sex drive, but everyone as an adult, will be making sexual energies, if they have the sexual organs in there bodies.

 

Human interactions have too many variables, to answer your question, as to how, do asexuals that do want sex, and have sex, actually do. If you read on these boards, you will see plenty of asexuals, do have sex. But you will also see many asexuals, will not have sex.

 

There are too many variables involved to say exactly, what would make an asexual want sex, if they indeed ever would.

 

For me, staying a virgin, nothing changed my outlook thankfully. But many asexuals, have had sex.

 

There are too many variables in human interaction, to say this is what triggers an asexual to respond to sexual interactions, with others.

[Usernamethe2nd]

I realize now that my initial question is kinda jumbled.

14 minutes ago, andreas1033 said:

Sex drive, and sexual energy are different things.

^ Right I agree, but sexual energy would influence a sex drive in a sexual person right? My question is then, if an asexual person does not have a sex drive or a desire to have sex where does the sexual energy go and what might that look like in an asexual person?

[Usernamethe2nd]

17 minutes ago, andreas1033 said:

Human interactions have too many variables, to answer your question, as to how, do asexuals that do want sex, and have sex, actually do.

Do those sexual energies always amount to sex? If so that would mean we have much less sexual energy, and I tend to think that sexual energy is much more than just sex.

[andreas1033]

Just now, Usernamethe2nd said:

I realize now that my initial question is kinda jumbled.

^ Right I agree, but sexual energy would influence a sex drive in a sexual person right? My question is then, if an asexual person does not have a sex drive or a desire to have sex where does the sexual energy go and what might that look like in an asexual person?

In a sexual person, there sexual organs, must of created a link to there brain, that happens in puberty. This is what sex drive is. This link, for what ever reason, fails to be created properly in asexuals, and therefore asexual brains, must in adult life, be slightly different to sexuals.

 

Like for instance.

 

Males whom are sexual, would think after puberty with there testicles. This in asexual males, is not created, and this is why these males have little or no drive. That link between brain, and testicles in males, that is normally created in males in puberty, does not create or create properly in asexual males.

 

So asexuals males will still create sexual energies, but that link to the brain, is not there in asexual males after puberty, so this is why they do not have that sex drive, or a very small sex drive.

 

If you get me, i tried to make it as clear as what i can.

 

But remember just because your asexual, human interaction, is more complex, then just how you are. This is why many asexuals do have sex, even though they do not have there own sex drive to want it.

[andreas1033]

1 minute ago, Usernamethe2nd said:

Do those sexual energies always amount to sex? If so that would mean we have much less sexual energy, and I tend to think that sexual energy is much more than just sex.

No, in asexuals, that energy will still be being created, but that person, does not have the drive to want to have sex.

 

Your mistaking sexual energy for sex drive.

[Usernamethe2nd]

15 minutes ago, andreas1033 said:

So asexuals males will still create sexual energies, but that link to the brain, is not there in asexual males after puberty, so this is why they do not have that sex drive, or a very small sex drive.

^ Right, I'm trying to understand where the sexual energies go without a sex drive. Do those energies vanish or are they turned into something else. Thank you for your responses! : p

[Sage Raven Domino]

6 hours ago, Usernamethe2nd said:

Hey! I think that's what I'm looking for. I think that is really a cool way of being involved. I like the term fictosexual XD. Very creative.

Digisexuality is a related concept 

 

I believe I had sexual energy in childhood which was channeled into a paraphilia instead of the appreciation of naked human bodies. I've discovered a lot of fetishes since then, so most women and some flamboyant men have at least some of my mini-fetishes.

 

I don't feel that a human body is attractive as a whole; rather, I mentally scan the looks, the voice, the behavior, the body shape for the presence of fetishes. Perhaps I have a subconscious 'scoring system' where fetishes earn points, and I'm aroused if the total score exceeds a certain threshold

[Usernamethe2nd]

16 hours ago, Sage Raven Domino said:

I don't feel that a human body is attractive as a whole; rather, I mentally scan the looks, the voice, the behavior, the body shape for the presence of fetishes. Perhaps I have a subconscious 'scoring system' where fetishes earn points, and I'm aroused if the total score exceeds a certain threshold

Do all those fetishes distress you in some way, or is it exciting having them and perhaps discovering new ones? Have you been able to integrate those fetishes comfortable into your life? Does your own body contain those fetishes and are you attracted to them in the same way?

[Sage Raven Domino]

11 minutes ago, Usernamethe2nd said:

Do all those fetishes distress you in some way, or is it exciting having them and perhaps discovering new ones?

The main one distresses me because I get weird looks from random people to whom my eyes get glued because they happen to have it. The secondary ones aren't too distressful because the arousal is weak enough to hide.

 

11 minutes ago, Usernamethe2nd said:

Have you been able to integrate those fetishes comfortable into your life?

I can reproduce them whenever I'm home alone. I don't do it often because the preparation is a bit slow, and 5-15 minutes are usually enough to climax without acting it out in vivo - the fantasies are usually enough on their own.

 

11 minutes ago, Usernamethe2nd said:

Does your own body contain those fetishes and are you attracted to them in the same way?

No, it usually doesn't. However, when I reproduce them, I feel more aroused by myself than I ever would by others.

 

[Usernamethe2nd]

^ Thanks for sharing! I have my own fetish that I go back and forth on. I don't know how to put it but, you don't feel bad "morally" or that you're "not living up to your potential" when engaging in these acts. This still isn't coming out right. For me, I kinda have an all or nothing mentality when it comes to engaging in my fetish to the point that it would become a lifestyle and not something I could just drop when I wanted to. Maybe I could find some way to engage it, like in a virtual reality setting.