masturbation?

[buuuri]

hey all.

in the previous few days I’ve had a hard time with my sexuality and all that good stuff,, especially now because it seems a lot of the people around me are reaching the point where they’re exploring or coming out or whatever. A lot of my friends have recently come out as gay, bi etc. and I’m really torn because while I do kind of like guys and girls a little, it’s not very sexual at all? My parents seem to expect me to have had a boyfriend or had a crush but I’ve had neither and it stresses me a little :/ 

one of my best friends recently has been talking about sex/masturbation a lot and while I’m perfectly fine having these conversations and talking about her experiences, I’ve noticed me and her experience sexual attraction very, very differently.

idk I’ve just never seen a guy and gone “oh my god they’re so hot” yknow? 

Another thing that always makes me feel marginally excluded is magazines. That sounds stupid but magazine companies always make articles about like masturbation and shit and talk about how you “”fantasise about that guy you saw the other day”” and it just really ticks me off because I don’t think about those things?? Idk :/ 

do you guys think about a person when masturabting??? 

[Lucy in the sky]

I identify as ace and while I do occasionally masturbate, it's mainly as a stress relief or if I can't fall asleep - it has a "practical" function rather than any other kind of indulgence into a fantasy or anything similar.

And no, I don't think of people whilst doing it. I tried it once by visualizing a squish to see how that would work, but instead of making me hornier (that's the purpose, right?), it really just threw me off tbh.

[andreas1033]

Its similar to those ideas that science says, that males think about sex every few minutes or something. I was always, i never think about it, lol.

 

So being on the outside of what is normal, you will not appreciate what the majority do, if they indeed do these things, and see the world the way we assume sexuals do.

 

I see masturbation, as a way to release energy, not to think about some person, as i never have in my life.

 

We have to assume sexuals equate masturbation to sexual instincts for others. While for me, masturbation, is just getting rid of energy i do not want.

 

No, i never masturbating about anyone. Masturbation for me, was just to get rid of energy, and i never could visualise in my brain, using it in some sort of sexual fantasy with someone real. When i say someone real, that includes celebs, as well as normal people, whom may like you, or what ever.

 

We as asexuals, have to assume that masturbation for sexuals is something they relate to sex, or there sexual instincts for others. For me, its never been that, i have and will always just see it, as a way to get rid of energy.

 

Sex drive(somethign asexuals lack), and sexual energy are different things. This is what sexuals do not understand about asexuals. ie that you can have sexual energies produced in your body, without having the sex drive that sexuals have to desire to do it with others.

 

Asexuals will still produce sexual energies in there private parts. Its just in there brain, they do not have the sexual instinct, or drive, that, normally gets created in puberty in the brain.

[andreas1033]

8 minutes ago, CBC said:

Also, I understand this perfectly well. Sexual energy definitely isn't always about fucking someone else.

Sexual energy created is by definition seen the force of creation. Its why masons, wear an apron over there genitals, and that big g, does not mean god, it means generative force. If you ever see  a mason, you will see him wear an apron, over his genitals, with a g on it. People assume it means god, when infact it means generative force. ie meaning, the creative force that your genitals create with sexual energies.

 

Its why the church says that sex should only be used for making babies, and nothing else. But its still a creative force, and it does not need to be used to create babies, though thats what nature wanted it to be. But humans having minds that think, humans can apply other things to such creative energies, and this is why church says its a sin, to do other things with it.

 

Everyone creates this energy, if they have lived past puberty. Even though asexuals, do not create the sexual part of teh brain link, to there sexual organs, to create that sexual drive. Sexual energies, will always be being made no matter if you don't have the drive to use them. This is what most sexuals do not appreciate, ie your body can be producing sexual energy, without you having a sex drive, to want to have sex.

[Salmiakki]

The only people who I have thought about while masturbating are celebrities. I have never masturbated to people who I know in real life. 

[Galactic Turtle]

I've never masturbated but I think that's because I don't have a libido.

 

Also I do think certain people are "hot," "pretty," "handsome" or whatever word you want to use to describe someone who has a good appearance but it doesn't mean I want to have sex with them or date them or befriend them or talk to them. It's just... "wow you're really well put together." 

[Sage Raven Domino]

6 hours ago, buuuri said:

one of my best friends recently has been talking about sex/masturbation a lot and while I’m perfectly fine having these conversations and talking about her experiences, I’ve noticed me and her experience sexual attraction very, very differently.

idk I’ve just never seen a guy and gone “oh my god they’re so hot” yknow? 

There are different ways of experiencing sexual desire:

However,

On 5/8/2018 at 4:55 AM, Pramana said:

2. Emily Nagoski's writings on responsive desire, with reference to sexual attraction/asexuality.

Background: Nagoski has popularized research suggesting that it is common for women in long-term relationships to experience sexual desire responsively rather than spontaneously.

I contacted Nagoski about whether she meant to comment on sexual attraction when writing about spontaneous versus responsive desire, and what if any implications that would have for asexual self-identification. She replied that she hasn't written about sexual attraction because it's outside her area of expertise. She also acknowledged scientific limitations, and emphasized that the single best (and the only reliable) source of information about a person's sexuality is their own internal experience.

 

As for the way I incorporate mental images of real people into my fantasies, I've already laid it out in a parallel thread concerning fantasies.

[Strange But Not a Stranger]

6 hours ago, Salmiakki said:

The only people who I have thought about while masturbating are celebrities. I have never masturbated to people who I know in real life. 

Same here.

[Guest]

On 3/12/2019 at 7:45 AM, CBC said:

Personally, not random hot people, no. Someone I'm into, or if in a relationship, my partner, yes.

 

(Non-ace here.)

My partner, yes. Randoms ? No. 

 

(Also non-ace)

[Guest]

I don't.

(Also not ace)

[Usernamethe2nd]

I never think about people when I masturbate and it always has to do with my fetish (isn't sex related). I have libido but porn and such things turns me off.

[Usernamethe2nd]

On 3/12/2019 at 9:19 PM, andreas1033 said:

Sexual energy created is by definition seen the force of creation. Its why masons, wear an apron over there genitals, and that big g, does not mean god, it means generative force. If you ever see  a mason, you will see him wear an apron, over his genitals, with a g on it. People assume it means god, when infact it means generative force. ie meaning, the creative force that your genitals create with sexual energies.

 

Its why the church says that sex should only be used for making babies, and nothing else. But its still a creative force, and it does not need to be used to create babies, though thats what nature wanted it to be. But humans having minds that think, humans can apply other things to such creative energies, and this is why church says its a sin, to do other things with it.

 

Everyone creates this energy, if they have lived past puberty. Even though asexuals, do not create the sexual part of teh brain link, to there sexual organs, to create that sexual drive. Sexual energies, will always be being made no matter if you don't have the drive to use them. This is what most sexuals do not appreciate, ie your body can be producing sexual energy, without you having a sex drive, to want to have sex. 

Where were you in my last post (unconscious sexual proclivities) lol?