spacedaydreamer Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 I've identified as biro ace for a while now, and I know im perfectly comfortable with labeling myself as ace, but biromantic has never really felt right. The only crushes I seem to get are on fictional characters- the one time I had a 'crush' on someone i knew irl, it absolutely died the second we started dating. I was still happy to be around him, but it was platonic more than anything else. And I think i get crushes on friends at points, but never to the point where I'd want to ask someone out. I wouldn't say I dislike the idea of romance- i think it's lovely. It's just not something that ever seems to stick for me. I've been wondering of late if I'm actually aromantic, and just a little clueless. How do you tell between a romantic crush, and just really wanting to be someone's friend? And for the aromantics out there, how do you feel about the thought of still having life partners- not romantically, but still having a best friend you'd be together with? That sounds like a dream to me, but I have no idea if that's something you could really realistically look for. I know I have friends I'd love to spend my time with for years to come in a way closer than normal friendship, even if I don't think i feel romantic love for them. Link to post Share on other sites
iyote Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 16 minutes ago, spacedaydreamer said: How do you tell between a romantic crush, and just really wanting to be someone's friend? I've had many platonic crushes (squishes) on people, and the way I typically figure out it's not a crush is by imagining myself being romantically with that person - kissing, calling them a boy/girlfriend, etc. If that idea sounded appealing to me, then it'd be a crush. But for me, it's always been repulsive. I prefer to imagine myself hanging out with them as friends. You may also be Lithromantic, which would mean that you have crushes and enjoy the idea of romance in theory but not in practice. It's part of the aro spectrum. 23 minutes ago, spacedaydreamer said: And for the aromantics out there, how do you feel about the thought of still having life partners- not romantically, but still having a best friend you'd be together with? That sounds like a dream to me, but I have no idea if that's something you could really realistically look for. Sounds like you want a queerplatonic relationship, which as I understand it is relatively common for aro/ace people and can exist for any people who have a close friendship. That's absolutely realistic to look for. Personally, I'm not really interested in a QPP, but I'd say I'm open to the concept. Link to post Share on other sites
spacedaydreamer Posted March 9, 2019 Author Share Posted March 9, 2019 18 minutes ago, iyote said: I've had many platonic crushes (squishes) on people, and the way I typically figure out it's not a crush is by imagining myself being romantically with that person - kissing, calling them a boy/girlfriend, etc. If that idea sounded appealing to me, then it'd be a crush. But for me, it's always been repulsive. I prefer to imagine myself hanging out with them as friends. Hmm... I feel like, to me, it's more neutral a feeling than anything when I imagine calling those people romantically. Not exactly repulsive, but it doesn't really make me giddy or excited. That's a good way to put it, though. And I have heard of QPRs before, although I'd forgotten them! That'd be something good to keep in mind for me, because it really does sound ideal. I'll have to make sure I remember it this time, because it does sound quite nice to me to have a QPP. Link to post Share on other sites
Carxofa Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 1 hour ago, spacedaydreamer said: And I think i get crushes on friends at points, but never to the point where I'd want to ask someone out. I wouldn't say I dislike the idea of romance- i think it's lovely. It's just not something that ever seems to stick for me. I feel just like you! Right now I think I might be developing a "crush" on a friend, but it isn't really a crush, and it's not a squish either. I like the idea of having a relationship wit him, but just the idea. I mean, I would definitely feel very uncomfortable and akward dating him in real life (not to talk about kissing him! No thanks... no kisses for me). 2 hours ago, spacedaydreamer said: how do you feel about the thought of still having life partners- not romantically, but still having a best friend you'd be together with? That sounds like a dream to me, but I have no idea if that's something you could really realistically look for. I don't know if there are many people who would want a QPR instead of a romantic partner, but I'm definitely one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
spacedaydreamer Posted March 9, 2019 Author Share Posted March 9, 2019 39 minutes ago, Carxofa said: I feel just like you! Right now I think I might be developing a "crush" on a friend, but it isn't really a crush, and it's not a squish either. I like the idea of having a relationship wit him, but just the idea. I mean, I would definitely feel very uncomfortable and akward dating him in real life (not to talk about kissing him! No thanks... no kisses for me). Yeah, exactly there with you. The idea itself is very nice, but I can't really imagine things ever going past just that. It's a little funny to think I could be a "hopeless romantic" and be aromantic, but perhaps that's juts a good way to put it for me at least. And kisses... yeah. They're always so awkward to me, I can understand why people like them, but I guess they're just not my style! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.