Do you consider kissing sensual or sexual?

[manicmanner]

I consider kissing a sensual activity, feeding a desire for human contact if that makes sense, but when I'm with allosexuals, they typically would like to turn it into a sexual thing. Which is okay with me most days (sex-neutral ace here.) Not sure how to reconcile the difference in mentalities, though. Thoughts?

[Salmiakki]

I think it can be either. 

[RoseGoesToYale]

Same here, I consider it to be sensual, not sexual. In fact I know a few sexual folks who like sex but not kissing and would rather skip it because it just doesn't do anything for them sexually. But yeah, a lot of people see it the other way around. I guess it comes down to individual interpretation/experience.

[Sage Raven Domino]

Imo, it's sexual when genitalia are kissed, sensual otherwise.

[RatherBeReading]

Personally I see any kind of kissing (even the steamiest of smooches!) as sensual, but my (sexual) ex-boyfriend sees things like making out as sexual (which partly explains why he doubts my asexuality!). I guess it depends on the person.

[firewallflower]

I really feel like it depends on the kiss, the context, and the people. Personally, I'm not particularly interested in kissing in general, and for me, I tend to think of that (er, kiss-aversion? Or maybe more like kiss-indifference 😜) as a part of my own asexuality. Obviously, however, that doesn't go for everyone who is asexual. "Sexual" as an adjective can be a rather nebulous concept, because – outside of outright genital intercourse - so much of what determines whether a particular act is sexual or not is subjective, depending on whether it's sexually associated or intended in the feelings of the participants.

I'd put it this way, I guess: Kissing isn't sex. It is sensual. (Side note: I tend to think of sexuality as a subcategory of sensuality, so it's not an either/or to my mind.) It can be sexual, and often is, but not always. That depends on intent and interpretation.

[Ace_Wolf]

2 hours ago, manicmanner said:

I consider kissing a sensual activity, feeding a desire for human contact if that makes sense, but when I'm with allosexuals, they typically would like to turn it into a sexual thing. Which is okay with me most days (sex-neutral ace here.) Not sure how to reconcile the difference in mentalities, though. Thoughts?

I'm sorry, I'm new here, but sex-neutral?

[Guest]

The idea of it kind of creeps me out, but when I was younger I always thought I wanted to do it. But I was always freaked out by touching of any kind that I just couldn't do it. 

[ShyFeather]

I say sensual, and that it's also cultural. There are many cultures that don't do kissing and see it as very gross. Which differs with sex which is innate in allosexuals.

[south paw]

i think it can be either or depending on the situation...you can make it what you want it to be...peck for sensual...french for sexual....etc.

[Grumpy Alien]

Sensual, definitely not sexual

[manicmanner]

Thank y'all for the responses!

[Sage of Nemesis]

Late to the party, but: both, depending on context and person. It's a signal of interest (in sex) in some cases, and in others it's just like cuddling but... I'm not sure how to say it. Making out with someone is like romantic cuddling to me I guess. I consider kissing to be much more intimate than sex. I would never make out with someone if I didn't love them, or want to love them in the case of a developing relationship. 

[-Seven]

I think it can be either, depending on the intentions of both parties I suppose. I personally view kissing as a sign of closeness and not much more than that. 

[Måskemigselvetsted]

Personally, I find it to be neither. It definitely doesn't feel sexual to me. But I also wouldn't say it's sensual - it's not something I think of, if I'm feeling sensually attracted to a person and it doesn't make me feel like my desire to be physically close to the other person i satisfied. I see it more as a sometimes kinda fun game.

[Guest]

Either. Depends on context. If you are heavily making out, panting and shoving your tongues down each others throats? Pretty sexual. If you are just kissing and its not arousing, sensual. 

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, CBC said:

I skimmed quickly and read this as "shoving your tongues down each other's pants" due to the way my phone displayed the sentence, with 'panting' almost directly above 'throats'.

 

Oh god, my brain.  

Well, I mean, that would be sexual too... lol

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, CBC said:

Yes... yes, it would. And I would not complain.  

 

Although literally putting your tongue in someone's pants sounds awkward. Pants are best removed.

I guess if you are using the UK definition of pants it isn't that awkward. 

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, CBC said:

Oh yes, true. I spent a bit of time there in my teens and was confused by 'pants'. This is one of those times the Canucks sided with the Americans on terminology.

My wife is English, so she annoys me with it.

"Have you seen my pants?" 

"You are wearing them"

*glares standing in underwear cause she knows full well what was being asked*

[Xstatic]

I consider kissing to be very sensual.  And a heavy make out session is definitely going to put me in the mood for sex.  My ace partner tells me that for him it's more of an 'activity to pass the time'.  I laughed and was like, okay yeah that's the most ace way to describe kissing that I've ever heard.  😂

[JessPlaysChess]

I find these terms super hard to distinguish. I personally tend to call myself a grey ace because of kissing, even though I'd never ever engage in any sexual activities (sexual by my defination here: Anything without your underwear and/or focusing on your sex organs (primary or secondary))! However, I still feel like the term "sexual" fits to kissing and making out... I'd make out with someone hard, like in underwear and with kissing and lots of touching and movement and moaning and stuff... 😂 That's pretty "sexual" to me and turns me on, even though I'm not gonna want sex with them. It's more that this "is my sex" 😁 I'd probably call it sensual if it was "only kissing", but if it includes lying on each other etc... oh well, where do you draw the line?

[Bloc]

15 hours ago, JessPlaysChess said:

I'd make out with someone hard, like in underwear and with kissing and lots of touching and movement and moaning and stuff... 😂 That's pretty "sexual" to me and turns me on, even though I'm not gonna want sex with them. It's more that this "is my sex" 😁 I'd probably call it sensual if it was "only kissing", but if it includes lying on each other etc... oh well, where do you draw the line?

This is the gray area. For me this is really sexual and I enjoy it, while for my partner it is not sexual and they enjoyed it too. Yeah, heavy make out sessions are my kind of sex. However we usually still keep pants, skirts, tights on and not just underwear. Both being topless is something I like. I want to keep clothes on which keep my parts in place. These sessions usually end with some hickies on everyones neck and chest. To be honest, such a make out sessions can lead to some orgasms for me, so you see why I see them as sexual.

[Tasha the demi squirrel]

Depends on the kiss......I tend to view kissing as either romantic or sensual 

[Custard Cream]

I don't really get the whole sticking tongues down each other's throats thing. Still not quite sure how that's supposed to be nice? I guess that sort of kiss is probably likely to class as sexual if you can get excited by it. Anything less -juicy- I see as sensual.

[Celyn: The Lutening]

I'd say it's a sensual thing that might put one in the mood for sexual stuff, but isn't itself sexual.

[Guest]

It's both, but if you lack sexual attraction then it's purely sensual.

[JessPlaysChess]

10 hours ago, Bloc said:

I want to keep clothes on which keep my parts in place. These sessions usually end with some hickies on everyones neck and chest. To be honest, such a make out sessions can lead to some orgasms for me, so you see why I see them as sexual.

Yes I very much see what you mean! Underwear can be pretty problematic and not sit the way it's supposed to after moving or just sleeping in it 😂 Made that experience. I'd probably just get some women boxer shorts and a good sports bra if I had a partner again.

[Galacticat42]

As many have said, it's both dependent on the context.

 

For example, cuddling next to each other and kissing is sensual. Making out? Sensual. Even french kissing is very sensual, but not sexual.

The moment it gets more personal and the kissing moves down the neck, it becomes borderline sensual/sexual, becoming fully sexual once sex becomes a consensual goal of both parties.

[General]

On Wednesday, March 06, 2019 at 7:47 AM, manicmanner said:

I consider kissing a sensual activity, feeding a desire for human contact if that makes sense, but when I'm with allosexuals, they typically would like to turn it into a sexual thing. Which is okay with me most days (sex-neutral ace here.) Not sure how to reconcile the difference in mentalities, though. Thoughts?

I consider kissing to be a sensual activity as well.  If there's no skin-on-skin genital or posterior contact, it's a sensual act not a sexual one.

 

I mean, if a doctor asked someone if they're sexually active and they said, "Yeah I kissed somebody on the mouth," I guarantee the doctor would laugh them out of the building. 

[Bloc]

1 hour ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

I consider kissing to be a sensual activity as well.  If there's no skin-on-skin genital or posterior contact, it's a sensual act not a sexual one. 

 

I mean, if a doctor asked someone if they're sexually active and they said, "Yeah I kissed somebody on the mouth," I guarantee the doctor would laugh them out of the building. 

This is where it gets fuzzy. I had what I would call fully clothed sex, orgasms included. My partner said it was not sex but heavy making out. And some/many doctors have terribly cis- and heteronormative ideas of sex.