How to deal with my aceness

[wellies]

Hi everyone,  I've heard some say that they'd go without food for sex, as if they need it so much!?  As for me, it's such an alien concept, it doesn't even ping on my radar.

 

I hope Tygersongbird doesn't mind that I've copied and pasted this from another thread but it basically sums up everything I feel but couldn't express very well:

Tygersongbird:  "It's almost as if sex is something so essential for everybody, and hearing statements like that make you wonder "What's wrong with me?". I don't know. Being in a sexual world, I feel so out of place most days. I often feel like the broken one, dysfunctional at best, really. Sometimes you start thinking "Am I wrong and are they right?" "Is sex something so vital and crucial to the human experience?" "Do you have to have sex to be a human being?" "Do I have to have sex, like they say I should, then?"  "Can you be normal as an asexual?" "Is asexuality normal or abnormal?" "What if I'm not normal, then? Do I have to become normal, then?" "What do I do? Where do I go from here?" 

 

I have these exact same questions that run through my mind whenever I hear of my peers dating, getting married, having kids etc.  It just reminds me that I'm not like they are.   I worry that they'd think I'm broken or immature.  I just find it hard to be content with my aceness in a world that views you as odd if you're not sexual.

 

 

 

 

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

Well as you can see you're not on your own in this community, there are many aces just like yourself.

 

You can immerse yourself in the things you are passionate about and these will take you to places you never thought you'd be.

You can use the energy not put into sex to further your knowledge, your career, make friendships that will last you decades, go places, see things that folk with family commitments can't.

The future is bright for young aces. You know you are ace...us older ones didn't know there was such a thing, so use this knowledge of yourself to your advantage!

All the best!🍰😊

[Bio 7]

I also don’t understand how sex is so vital for people, it seems alien to me. However I like that I’m ace and won’t ever end up with relationship drama or getting someone pregnant. I can focus on myself and won’t feel bad for being single.

To me being ace seems freeing.

[Snao Cone]

These are common worries people have at some point in the process of coming to terms with their asexuality. I hope it helps you to know that there is a community of thriving older asexual people who are happy with their lives and asexuality. 

 

In my 20s I would've worried about similar things, but my 30s have felt very freeing in that regard. I have the experience and perspective to see through more sexual façades now - that sex isn't always so fiery and passionate and instantly pleasurable as it's portrayed in media. It takes some time to realize that, and for it to sink in enough to let you be comfortable being asexual.