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1 in 3 women experience pain during intercourse

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anamikanon

It is just plain reality. The genders are different. If we switch genders and start talking about women's penises, it isn't going to work. And if we switch genders and anatomy appropriately, observations aren't going to match reality. And if we switch genders and anatomy and observations, we are right back to where we started, with nothing switched.

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Telecaster68

It's not to do with anatomy, it's to do with the explicit statements that no men care about getting their partners off. 

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anamikanon
Just now, Telecaster68 said:

It's not to do with anatomy, it's to do with the explicit statements that no men care about getting their partners off. 

When perceptions hijack emotions, it is a good idea to seek and provide exact quotes.

 

Pretty certain that no one said that no men care about getting their partners off.

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anisotrophic

I'm confused because my partner tries to warn me before climaxing -- since he'd rather postpone that until I feel satisfied with calling it a wrap.

And isn't that just a normal considerate thing to do?

He's not crap at sex, he just doesn't have any desire for it. It's not rocket science? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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anamikanon
2 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

It's not to do with anatomy, it's to do with the explicit statements that no men care about getting their partners off. 

Pretty sure no one said this, but say for a moment someone did. It is so absurd and observably false as to not need an answer. Don't see where you're getting all worked up about.

 

To me, it is seeming like you don't like the idea of women not liking PIV. As though we should. At times you've taken it as an accusation against heterosexual men, at other times you've explained the care you take... and no amount of explaining that it is about how women and men climax differently and not about accusations seems to be registering.

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Telecaster68
34 minutes ago, anamikanon said:

The problem with men - and you may be able to recognize this - is that when the sex gets good, their own need for a climax gets overwhelming and they pretty much "take off" with their thrusts, grinds or whatever they need and have very little ability to focus their actions toward the woman. Once that flight is landed, most of them are pretty wiped and if they are getting sex routinely, there is little reason to go above and beyond to stay awake.

...if a man had said to you...

 

"The problem with women - and you may be able to recognize this - is that when the sex gets good, their own need for a climax gets overwhelming and they pretty much "take off" with their thrusts, grinds or whatever they need and have very little ability to focus their actions toward the man. Once that flight is landed, most of them are pretty wiped and if they are getting sex routinely, there is little reason to go above and beyond to stay awake."

 

... how fine would you be with it?

 

There's another generalisation in a nearby post, but I can't be arsed to pull it out.

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anamikanon
Just now, anisotropic said:

I'm confused because my partner tries to warn me before climaxing -- since he'd rather postpone that until I feel satisfied with calling it a wrap.

And isn't that just a normal considerate thing to do?

He's not crap at sex, he just doesn't have any desire for it. It's not rocket science? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have been with only one asexual, but overall, I think an asexual man's disinterest in chasing a climax works wonders for what women need..... IF they want to have sex at all - another matter. lol

 

For sexual men, many try to postpone a climax. I knew one who liked to climax hard and fast first, then spend some time on me and circle back for a second climax - that worked well too. This is mostly either in the courtship stage or on special occasions where sex is being made a big deal of. But overall, for routine sex, when men start feeling the urge to climax, most will simply proceed instinctively and it doesn't really seem like it is deliberately inconsiderate. More like what they need to do in the moment. My best sexual partner was one whose instinctive acceleration toward a climax almost perfectly matched mine own most times and I usually ended up climaxing because of it. That was one relationship in which PIV RULED.

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Telecaster68
6 minutes ago, anamikanon said:

it is seeming like you don't like the idea of women not liking PIV. As though we should. At times you've taken it as an accusation against heterosexual men, at other times you've explained the care you take... and no amount of explaining that it is about how women and men climax differently and not about accusations seems to be registering.

No, really not. I'm perfectly well aware most women don't cum from PIV and have been since my teens. I'm getting pissed off at the 'all men are like this' stuff, which you have said. 

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Telecaster68
Just now, anamikanon said:

men start feeling the urge to climax, most will simply proceed instinctively and it doesn't really seem like it is deliberately inconsiderate. More like what they need to do in the moment.

Do you not register this is a generalisation about all men?

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anamikanon
1 minute ago, Telecaster68 said:

...if a man had said to you...

 

"The problem with women - and you may be able to recognize this - is that when the sex gets good, their own need for a climax gets overwhelming and they pretty much "take off" with their thrusts, grinds or whatever they need and have very little ability to focus their actions toward the man. Once that flight is landed, most of them are pretty wiped and if they are getting sex routinely, there is little reason to go above and beyond to stay awake."

 

... how fine would you be with it?

 

There's another generalisation in a nearby post, but I can't be arsed to pull it out.

Very fine, if it were true. Except, women's climaxes rarely leave them wiped the way a man's does. We can have one long climax, a series, one, then pause, then again and all kinds of combinations. It is quite common for a woman to feel alert and interested in more after a climax. And even when not, and we are relaxed and sleepy, it doesn't knock us out with the suddenness a man's climax can. 

 

A good reverse generalization would be a man complaining that women don't understand their need to be left alone to recover for a bit after a climax and it can get pretty jarring to feel attempts at arousal in that time.

 

I wouldn't mind, because it is true how the bodies work. I would note it as something to keep in mind.

 

Fail to see why I'd be offended.

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anamikanon
4 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Do you not register this is a generalisation about all men?

most =/= all

 

and you are free to do as massive a survey as you think will help you deny this. Loads of men will admit it and you'll be avalanched by women who go "yes, this"

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Telecaster68

So you'd be fine with me saying 'it's really hard for me to cum, but once most women cum, they have little reason to go above and beyond'? You wouldn't find that at all an insulting generalisation?

 

And one more time. It's. Not. About. Physiology. It's about implying all men are selfish in bed.

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Telecaster68
1 minute ago, anamikanon said:

most =/= all

 

and you are free to do as massive a survey as you think will help you deny this. Loads of men will admit it and you'll be avalanched by women who go "yes, this"

Very unimpressed by your data.

 

Seriously, do you not see how what you're saying is a just a flip of Red Pill type stuff?

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anamikanon
Just now, anamikanon said:

most =/= all

 

and you are free to do as massive a survey as you think will help you deny this. Loads of men will admit it and you'll be avalanched by women who go "yes, this"

And this isn't a conspiracy or accusation or a generalization. It is simply how things are. 

 

And I am now feeling pissed that I have to offer so many explanations to your massive ego taking outrage over a simple observation. Either you understand it or you don't, and you go on an expedition seeking insult to justify your outrage. Not really my temperament to go soothing men pissed by something I said. I help them cope. If I fail, so be it.

 

Dismiss it. It doesn't matter.

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Telecaster68
Just now, RocknRoll_Doll said:

The fact that you still want to engage in PIV sex while having this knowledge explains why you feel so personally attacked by this thread.

And back to an earlier post. For both men and women, there are reasons other than orgasm for having PIV sex.

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anisotrophic

I think the gender stereotypes are running a bit thick here.

I'm sorry this is a "not all men" moment but I think it's fair that @Telecaster68 is unhappy with the generalizations being made -- I am too.

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anamikanon
1 minute ago, Telecaster68 said:

And back to an earlier post. For both men and women, there are reasons other than orgasm for having PIV sex.

Allow women to speak for themselves, oh great male!

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Telecaster68
Just now, RocknRoll_Doll said:

thread is about how PIV sex isn't actually, in reality, all that great for women. Focus

Thread is. Your posts aren't.

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Telecaster68
Just now, anamikanon said:

Allow women to speak for themselves, oh great male!

If you'll allow men the same privilege.

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anisotrophic

:sigh:

I like to ask my partner for penetrative sex.

But I don't like to identify as a woman anymore. Ah well.

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anamikanon
1 minute ago, Telecaster68 said:

If you'll allow men the same privilege.

That privilege was always there. No one denied men like PIV.

 

The subject was that many women don't. And you didn't like that.

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Traveler40

In my narrow experience I’d have to agree that at least the men I’ve known are generally selfish in bed.  The saving grace has been those open to communication and therefore some  adjustment. My lover is the anomaly of the bunch.

 

Separately, I own a Vibrator specifically as I like insertion (PIV) coupled with external stimulus....all women aren’t the same either. 😬

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Telecaster68
Just now, anamikanon said:

The subject was that many women don't. And you didn't like that.

No, the bit I didn't like was the 'all men are...' stuff, which you've defended purely by asserting lots of women would agree with you.

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anamikanon
1 minute ago, Traveler40 said:

In my narrow experience I’d have to agree that at least the men I’ve known are generally selfish in bed.  The saving grace has been those open to communication and therefore some  adjustment. My lover is the anomaly of the bunch.

 

Separately, I own a Vibrator specifically as I like insertion (PIV) coupled with external stimulus....all women aren’t the same either. 😬

Whatever works.

 

I dare say I enjoy that too.

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anamikanon
1 minute ago, Telecaster68 said:

No, the bit I didn't like was the 'all men are...' stuff, which you've defended purely by asserting lots of women would agree with you.

I said what I said. You read what you read. People say what they say. The study found what it found.

 

I don't see the point discussing this further. I know that I am not prejudiced against men. I know that I have described when PIV works too so the "all" is negated right there. You go on believe what you want. This is beyond my temperament to nitpick and prove to you that I meet your approval standards or something.

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chandrakirti
5 minutes ago, RocknRoll_Doll said:

Do you not realize that the dismissive outrage you are expressing in this thread only serves as an example of what women are expected to put up with? It is YOU, SIR, who are making men look bad.

This...

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CustardCream

Wow this isn't going the way I expected....

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chandrakirti

@anamikanon and @RocknRoll_Doll I extend my apologies on behalf of the decent people of the UK. We're not all the same. But hey! I'm female, so...

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chandrakirti
Just now, RocknRoll_Doll said:

I think @Telecaster68 has resorted to vulgarity and name calling only to get this thread locked so others can't see it. Please don't! This is a great thread that I'm sure others' will appreciate.

It's a very relevant thread. Unless you don't care how women feel during sex.

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CustardCream
1 minute ago, chandrakirti said:

@anamikanon and @RocknRoll_Doll I extend my apologies on behalf of the decent people of the UK. We're not all the same. But hey! I'm female, so...

Seconded.  Let's not let childish remarks derail the thread...

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