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YXSHINN

Am I biromantic or aromantic?

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YXSHINN

A short description of me to help;

-I'm female.

-I'm 16.

-I'm asexual for SURE.

-I've never experienced romantic attraction YET. 

-The only thing I've experienced was alterous attraction, so I only wanted to be closer with someone emotionally, not romantically. That was when I was 11.

-I always feel disconnected from romance when I think about, but I really want to experience it.

-I don't mind being with a girl or a boy romantically.

-I don't experience sexual attraction, but I'm sex-indifferent, not repulsed.

-I would have sex with my partner if they wanted to.

-I want to get married, but can't see myself getting married when imagining it.

 

At this moment I'm on another journey figuring out my romantic orientation, now dangling somewhere between gray-biromanticism and aromanticism. 

I've never fallen in love before and I can only imagine. I don't know what it feels like, I only know that it makes people extremely happy and causes them to have butterflies in the stomach and all that. 

 

It's quite odd since I first identified as heteroromantic, but then I started to have fantasies about being in relationships with girls (both sexually and romantically). The sexual part kind of made me uncomfortable, but I didn't necessarily dislike it from a romantic perspective. 

 

I also think I'm gray-biromantic because my attraction to boys and girls seem to be equally as weak/near to nonexistent.

 

But the thing is, I've never had a crush before (not on guys nor girls) so I wouldn't know. I've never looked at someone and thought, "Yeah, I could date them."

 

This whole crushing and falling in love thingy seems absolutely wonderful. When I asked people to describe romantic attraction, they described it as the most heavenly, unearthly thing ever and it honestly seems so nice, but I just can't relate at all. I want to, but I don't. I don't feel a damn thing.

 

So now, I'm hanging between this odd space of gray(romantic)-biromanticism and aromanticism and I just don't know anymore. I've also thought about being a bi-oriented aroace, but I kind of keep that aside.

 

Any advice?

 

 

 

 

 

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Carxofa

I can't really offer you any advice because I feel just like you. I'm also trying to figure out my romantic orientation. I've never had a crush either and I can't picture myself dating anyone, but I would like to fall in love, or at least I think so. Lately I've been wondering if I actually want this or if I'm just influenced by what I always thought my life would be like: find a parter, live together, have kids. I don't know...

 

Anyway, only you can figure it out, but I think that if you're 16 years old it's possible that you just haven't found the right person yet (you could be gray-romantic, as you say, or even demiromantic). I'm 18 and I still think so 😅

 

By the way, welcome to Aven! It's a tradition to offer cake to new members 🍰🍰🍰

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Denoscar

Hello. No one can say for certain what you are besides yourself, but I'll give my thoughts/ideas.

From what you've said so far, it sounds like you're closer to Aromantic.
Ask yourself this, is it only the idea/fantasy of dating people that you like, or would you actually like to have that relationship really?
That question could help you figure out which one you are.
If you feel like both labels fit, that's fine too.

I understand how frustrating it can be to not experience something that almost everyone does. I'm sure we can all relate to that here.

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MichaelTannock

Welcome to AVEN!

 

It sounds like you're Aromantic.

But there are other types of attraction besides Romantic Attraction.
There's Sensual Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like kissing or cuddling.
There's Aesthetic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty.
There's Platonic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have a deep friendship with someone.
And more.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

ZWughhv.jpg

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alto

Maybe gray bi-romantic?  It seemed like you had it right.

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Barbio

It sounds to me like you could also be lithoromantic, or cupioromantic?

 

(Romantic orientations are a lot harder to figure out than sexual orientations, haha. All I can say is that I sincerely wish you luck!)

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YXSHINN

Thanks for the warm welcome by the way! :) I appreciate it a lot. I hope I can be on here often.

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YXSHINN
13 hours ago, Denoscar said:

Hello. No one can say for certain what you are besides yourself, but I'll give my thoughts/ideas.

From what you've said so far, it sounds like you're closer to Aromantic.
Ask yourself this, is it only the idea/fantasy of dating people that you like, or would you actually like to have that relationship really?
That question could help you figure out which one you are.
If you feel like both labels fit, that's fine too.

I understand how frustrating it can be to not experience something that almost everyone does. I'm sure we can all relate to that here.

That is a hard question. I do fantasize about it, but the faces are blurred most of the time. I don't think I'd like a romantic relationship in real life, but maybe that's just because of my extreme shyness. QPR do seem nice on the other hand but I'm not sure.

Edited by YXSHINN

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YXSHINN
13 hours ago, Carxofa said:

I can't really offer you any advice because I feel just like you. I'm also trying to figure out my romantic orientation. I've never had a crush either and I can't picture myself dating anyone, but I would like to fall in love, or at least I think so. Lately I've been wondering if I actually want this or if I'm just influenced by what I always thought my life would be like: find a parter, live together, have kids. I don't know...

 

Anyway, only you can figure it out, but I think that if you're 16 years old it's possible that you just haven't found the right person yet (you could be gray-romantic, as you say, or even demiromantic). I'm 18 and I still think so 😅

 

By the way, welcome to Aven! It's a tradition to offer cake to new members 🍰🍰🍰

 Ah, that sucks. I hope you'll be able to figure it out soon as well!

 

I might be gray-romantic, but I'm not really sure. Are there any traits that only gray-romantics/demiromantics have? 

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YXSHINN
10 hours ago, alto said:

Maybe gray bi-romantic?  It seemed like you had it right.

Really? Most people say I can't say I'm biromantic because I haven't had a crush on the same sex. That's why I'm kind of confused as of now.

 

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alto
9 hours ago, YXSHINN said:

Really? Most people say I can't say I'm biromantic because I haven't had a crush on the same sex. That's why I'm kind of confused as of now.

 

Well, you say you could be with either sex romantically...

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YXSHINN
17 minutes ago, alto said:

Well, you say you could be with either sex romantically...

That's true, but I'm not really sure. The idea seems way nicer in my head than in real life.

 

I do want to experience falling in love, but I feel like every time I look at someone, someone potentially being a romantic interest seems completely off the list subconsciously. 

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alto

Then maybe you're aro?

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YXSHINN
2 minutes ago, alto said:

Then maybe you're aro?

Maybe. 

 

Sorry if I keep circling around with my words, I'm trying to figure out my thoughts here.

 

Anyway, thank you very much~! :3

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alto

Sure!

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Acebooklove

A lil late, but to me, it sounds like you are a gray romantic. 

 

As I said, I can´t really offer much advice because I´m stuck where you are although rn im labelling myself as gray bc I felt romantic feelings for a girl. 

 

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YXSHINN
1 minute ago, Acebooklove said:

A lil late, but to me, it sounds like you are a gray romantic. 

 

As I said, I can´t really offer much advice because I´m stuck where you are although rn im labelling myself as gray bc I felt romantic feelings for a girl. 

 

 

What did those feelings feel like? I'm curious, since I haven't had those before.

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Acebooklove

here are some links that may help:

 

 

http://wiki.asexuality.org/Gray-romantic

 

If you wanna talk tho, my pm are always open :) 

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Acebooklove
On 3/17/2019 at 11:46 AM, YXSHINN said:

 

What did those feelings feel like? I'm curious, since I haven't had those before.

Forgot to quote, sorry

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