AroDashie Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 I'm a bit confused as to what my romantic orientation is. The main part is that I meet someone and get along with them and then I develop an intense desire to get to know them and want to be close with them. I usually start a relationship with them because i figure that we seem compatible and that i like them as a person. Plus they make me happy. However, I quickly run into the problem after being in a relationship for a bit beyond the initial desire to be close to them that I realize I have zero romantic attraction to them. I already know that I experience no sexual attraction (though i do feel sensual attraction for some close friends) but i don't feel romantically attached to anyone. I usually break up with them after figuring out that i have no romantic feelings for them because i assume something must be wrong. I do feel a strong bond with the person, it just is the same kinda bond I have with a close friend. I don't want to keep on repeating this cycle and I value the partnership i have with my current girlfriend. However, historically i haven't felt romantic attachment to people. I want a platonic partnership where i live with the person and do some sensual things like cuddling, but i don't feel romantically attached them. I don't know if anyone else experiences this and i don't know where I fall. I feel kinda broken because of this inability to feel romantic feelings like others have. I don't really know what to call the initial attachment to people because it is different than what my friends describe as crushes. Mainly in that i don't feel the fuzzy feeling or warmth. I just like them as a person and want to get to know them better and be close with them. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 Welcome to AVEN! It sounds like you could be Aromantic, as what you describe would be Platonic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have a deep friendship with someone. This initial attachment to people is called a Squish, which is the Aromantic counterpart of a Crush. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, Link to post Share on other sites
AroDashie Posted February 26, 2019 Author Share Posted February 26, 2019 Thanks for the cake. Well then aromantic fits I suppose. It just feels weird being aromantic while being in a relationship. I mean I love my girlfriend strongly as a close friend, just not romantically. I wanna be partners with her and live with her and stuff, just i dont' feel romantic feelings towards her or really anyone. Really it has always been this way for me. I don't understand the desire for romance that other people have. It seems kinda alien to me to love someone in a different way than a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Muir Caileag Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 I feel ya! I think I quite like the idea of a relationship, buuuut I could not imagine ever loving someone in any other way than platonically. I never feel, or have ever felt, any desire to be more than friends with anyone! I'm really close with my friends and love them, but yknow, in a friend way :') I get the initial attraction thing too; I'm what some might call "overbearingly clingy" but I think it's one of my favourite personality traits. It weeds out the weak Link to post Share on other sites
AroDashie Posted February 26, 2019 Author Share Posted February 26, 2019 10 minutes ago, Muir Caileag said: I feel ya! I think I quite like the idea of a relationship, buuuut I could not imagine ever loving someone in any other way than platonically. I never feel, or have ever felt, any desire to be more than friends with anyone! I'm really close with my friends and love them, but yknow, in a friend way :') I get the initial attraction thing too; I'm what some might call "overbearingly clingy" but I think it's one of my favourite personality traits. It weeds out the weak I feel a desire to have a close friend that I am partners with. Like a friend that I would live with and sometimes when i'm in the mood to do sensual stuff with (love me some cuddling with a close friend and watching a movie). Heck, I even like to recreationally do sexual stuff with a friend even though i'm not sexually attracted to people (Im sex-favorable and like the stimulation). But as for the other romantic stuff like going on dates and stuff or being married... nah. Not for me. I'm not averse to that kinda stuff but it just doesn't really move me. I'd even like to have multiple people who are close friends who I do stuff that isn't considered traditionally friendship stuff with. There is a lack of termanology for a relationship that is a platonic friendship that is a little more involved than a normal friendship. I guess sorta best friend but most people don't wanna move in with their best friend Link to post Share on other sites
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