PrincessPark Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) Just curious how many partners everyone has been with. I am in my late 20's and have had 6, feel like that quite a high number for a asexual lol. I am pretty sex positive and willing to be intimate for my partners as soon as they ask. Edited February 25, 2019 by PrincessPark Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dino_damage Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 In my early twenties and I've had two partners. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
oofrob Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 what counts as a partner? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessPark Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 @oofrob Any other person Quote Link to post Share on other sites
oofrob Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 what if it wasn't like consensual? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessPark Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 @oofrob Shoot! of course not, honestly didn't think of that. If you need to talk about that me and the rest of the AVEN family are here for you 🙂 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
oofrob Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 sorry, it's okay. i don't really like to talk about it, but thanks for offering mate. also i'm new so um hi. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessPark Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) Welcome @oofrob I am reasonably new here myself, AVEN is a really good supportive community to be a part of. Edited February 25, 2019 by PrincessPark 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I've had 0 partners but used to have 3 abnormally close friends (1 girl, then 2 probably ace-spectrum guys) and 4 major limerences (didn't count those that lasted for less than a month). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MissJessica Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 In my early 30's had 10, a lot I know. Basically I seem to repeat the process of getting a bf, comprising for him, then not be able to keep up with his sex drive and so the relationship breaks down. Thankfully my current relationship is working out a lot better as I detailed in your last topic 😄 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessPark Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 @MissJessica good to see you round these parts again, hope life is treating you well? Yes I remember your bf's wild request from the other topic 😄 Honestly don't think it matters how high or low your number, happy you have found someone who you can make it work with. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MissJessica Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) I'm doing really well @PrincessPark you always have the most interesting topics lol Edited February 25, 2019 by MissJessica Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Potato Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'm 33. I've had one. I married him, had a kid with him, then ditched him when I came to my senses. One is enough for me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 36 years old, one partner for a short period (more than 15 years ago). Totally sufficient 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mirari Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I've only ever had one partner, which is my current one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Artistbikerfarmer Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 0 and how much it bothers other people was how I went from "straight, just not very good at it" to Google to here, the glorious land of cake. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'm 37 years old and I've never had a partner. Only a very close friend, I could now say that I was in love with her... But it's over, I have lost my chance - we've lost contact due to different circumstances and as far as I know, she's dead. Currently I'm dreaming of achieving that kind of close connection with another woman, but would she be willing to be in a same-sex relationship (she's rather straight, even when disappointed with men), or even to cross the line where a deep friendship becomes the most important interpersonal relation? I don't know. However, I'm sex-averse and just couldn't have sex even if I loved someone very much. The idea of personally having sex feels so scary to me and the first hurdle is my nudity aversion - I just can't undress in another person's presence. Since I have never been in a relationship, I can't know with 100% certainty how I would react... but it seems extremely unlikely that I could ever do it. Most people are probably fine with nudity in presence of closest family members - for me nope. Most people undress when it's medically needed - I simply avoid such situations because I couldn't do it. Most people just don't care about being naked in presence of people of the same gender in a swimming pool locker room, for example - I can't behave like this, it doesn't matter for me whether anyone would pay attention to me, I just can't allow my naked body to be seen by anyone because it feels terrifying. So for me finding a partner is probably yet more difficult than for more sex-indifferent or sex-favourable aces. Perhaps even if the friend I mentioned (she was a lesbian, by the way) was still present in my life, we could never be "more than friends" because she likely couldn't be in a relationship with no sexual component at all. And still I'm proud to hold on to what my "inner voice" tells me. If I could never be fine with having sex, if with all likelihood such attempts would be traumatic to me, there's nothing wrong with not even giving it a try. I would rather give up romantic relationships - forever, if it must be - than force myself to have sex. This is also why I hate framing the problem as "body issues" and "low self-esteem" because I don't have low self-esteem - even when my nudity aversion is heavily influenced by chronic illness (quite strong allergy with atopic dermatitis) and the feeling of anger with my body, I'm exercising self-respect and even pride by refusing to try "breaking myself". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andreas1033 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 None, and it will be like that till i die. Being male and asexual, if someone does not change your life when young, up to early 20's, you just become numb to others. Do not know how it is for asexual females. So none, and will be none till i die. Being 43 now, the time, for people changing my life in that way is long passed. I am glad, you become immune in effect to people, ie totally numb eventually. As far as i am concerned, it was over for me, at 23, back in 98, and as far as i am concerned, i became a full on eunuck, in effect. Once a male gets to that point as an asexual, its over for his life being changed by someone in a sexual way. I am glad, its long passed. The people perving into my life, will never know if some female could of got me to have sex. They can invade someone elses life, ruining it for there fun. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mace_ Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'm in my early 30's and never had a partner. I had two persons I've been close with, but things didn't turn out well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I am 32 and I have had 5. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blunose2772 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 1 but I was less boyfriend and more case study Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anonymous123456 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 18 with a big, fat 0 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ColeHW34 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'm 19 and it's a big fat zero. Nearly everyone judges by looks so that doesn't help either. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
soapboxxy Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) . Edited September 28, 2019 by fledgeling Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blanky_Blank_Blank Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'm almost 32 and I've had 3 partners. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVeryTakenUsername Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 27 and like officially I've had one. I've had one before that but it wasn't really official. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I guess you mean sexual partners? If so then I suppose it's technically two. Every so often, someone makes it okay, but still can't really think of myself as sex-positive. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firewallflower Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Another 18-year-old here, with a grand total of zero dates (let alone partners), and no signs of that changing. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anonymous123456 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 2 minutes ago, firewallflower said: Another 18-year-old here, with a grand total of zero dates (let alone partners), and no signs of that changing. Oof, that makes three of us 18 year-olds without a single date or partner (me, you and fledgeling). 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
A shard of glass Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 23, and I've had 1 partner that I've had sex with, and 5 additional candidates who it just didn't work out with... mostly because of distance but I would LOVE to find someone's who's got a libido like me and lives near me but sadly... I live in the U.K. 😢 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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