I can't figure out if I'm aromantic

[The Cake is Not a Lie]

I am 14 and am pretty confident that I'm asexual but what I can't figure out is my romantic orientation. I thought that I had crushes in the past but looking back I'm not sure if they were crushes or just squishes. I don't think I ever wanted to be in a relationship with any of my "crushes", just talk, play games, and stuff. The one "crush"  I currently have I don't think I want to be in a relationship with but I am not sure if that's because they live in a different state. I do sometimes get nervous when talking to my "crushes"  but I also get nervous when talking to people that I know for sure are just squishes. Any advice? 

[Galactic Turtle]

At your age crushes are typically sudden but strong interest/curiosity that is likely to go away as fast as it came. Perhaps it might be a better use of time to figure out what types of relationships you'd like to have in your life and what each of those relationships look like. This is something people often don't know until much later into their 20's or even 30's. 

[Sexual Ally]

Be patient w yourself.  At 14 it's awesome you're already aware you're Ace --- one less thing to be confused about   But for a total generalization, I think ppl discover their sexual orientation earlier than their romantic one, esp if they're ace and/or aro.  This will all prob fall into place, but give it time.  14 is generally too young to have sex/fall in love in a meaningful, mature way anyhow, so there's no reason to rush to any conclusions.  If you're hungry for some answers now, you might examine if you were romantically inclined, whether you'd gravitate toward boys/girls/both/androgyny/ etc.  

 

Do some research on the differences between aesthetic/sensual/romantic attractions.  They might inform what's behind you squishs/crushes in a logical way (and be good practical knowledge).

 

This may also be about trial and error.  If you do end up "falling" for someone in your later teens, you may discover you are demi or have proof of romantic attraction.  If you "grow out" of what feels like crush culture and see you feelings fall uniformly into squish territory, that may be an indicator or being aro.  As you get into your late teens I think you'll become more aware of differences between nervousness around "crushes" and anxiety in general;  realizing how these dynamics are similar or unique will prob go a long way towards self-discovery.

 

So take your time, and try to enjoy the journey; the answers will come;)