fiver Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 i've had a few boyfriends in the past, before i realized i was a lesbian, and i'm confused about some feelings i had while we were dating. sometimes, when i was not with that person, i would think about that person and being with them and i would get, like, a "gross" (idk how to describe it) feeling and would shiver in disgust. it was distressing and i had to actively try to not think about them. this would sometimes cause me to not want to be around the person, but whenever i was with them again the feelings and thoughts would go away and i would be happy to be with them. i wouldn't always have these feelings when i wasn't with the guy, though. sometimes i would think of them and feel neutral or good about them. i am still not sure if this is because of my being a lesbian or romance repulsion due to being arospec. i very recently got a gf and while i havent felt this way about them, sometimes i think about them and our relationship and i feel weird or i feel nothing. most of the time i feel good, though. also, i do like them romantically. i was wondering if anyone could help me figure out if this does sound like romance repulsion due to being aro? ive been using the label "aroflux" for awhile, partially because of these feelings but i would love to hear from arospecs what romance repulsion feels like to them and if this sounds like it. Link to post Share on other sites
pandamuerta Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 7 minutes ago, fiver said: i've had a few boyfriends in the past, before i realized i was a lesbian, and i'm confused about some feelings i had while we were dating. sometimes, when i was not with that person, i would think about that person and being with them and i would get, like, a "gross" (idk how to describe it) feeling and would shiver in disgust. it was distressing and i had to actively try to not think about them. this would sometimes cause me to not want to be around the person, but whenever i was with them again the feelings and thoughts would go away and i would be happy to be with them. i wouldn't always have these feelings when i wasn't with the guy, though. sometimes i would think of them and feel neutral or good about them. i am still not sure if this is because of my being a lesbian or romance repulsion due to being arospec. i very recently got a gf and while i havent felt this way about them, sometimes i think about them and our relationship and i feel weird or i feel nothing. most of the time i feel good, though. also, i do like them romantically. i was wondering if anyone could help me figure out if this does sound like romance repulsion due to being aro? ive been using the label "aroflux" for awhile, partially because of these feelings but i would love to hear from arospecs what romance repulsion feels like to them and if this sounds like it. Romance to me if always been iffy. I have had many "boyfriends" in the past and even a few "girlfriends". It would always end the same way, me just falling out of interest. Kinda like you, I would always feel "repulsed" and a bit distressed after a bit into the relationship. There is a sexuality though where basically your feeling fade after getting really into a relationship, I always forget what it's called though. I could get back to you on that possibly if you want once I figure it out. Link to post Share on other sites
WenN Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 On 2/23/2019 at 3:22 AM, deadtrashpanda said: There is a sexuality though where basically your feeling fade after getting really into a relationship Yeah I've read about that one too.. also I can't find it now.. I found this one though.. it's a bit comparing with the one I've been searching for: Frayromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people you are less familiar with, which fades away when you get to know them more Link to post Share on other sites
WenN Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 3 minutes ago, Sannie said: Yeah I've read about that one too.. also I can't find it now. I've found it! Akoiromantic / Lithromantic describes someone who may experience romantic attraction, and likes the idea of being in a romantic relationship, but stops experiencing romantic attraction, or does not enjoy it, once they are in a romantic relationship and/or when the attraction is reciprocated. Many people don’t want to act on it or have it reciprocated because of this. See this for info on the lith/akoi term discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
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