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Stories about understanding/questioning your orientation


Lightning107

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I posted this in another thread, but I decided that since it was so long I'd also make it its own thread. Along with my own story, I'd be curious to know your own story of how you came to realize your orientation/what you still need to work through.

 

So I've identified as ace for about a year now... That in and of itself took multiple years to get to once I started questioning. But then there was romantic attraction to add to the mix. I've had a few squishes/crushes along the way that I had a difficult time determining which it was. I thought that maybe I was still aro tho because overall I'm not interested in dating, until I fell hard for my best friend. Unfortunately, she is very straight and not at all interested in any kind of relationship beyond friendship. She was interesting case, because I had a hard time figuring out if I was in fact feeling romantic attraction. It was a bit heartbreaking, but also helped me better figure out my orientation. At that point I knew I was some sort of demiromantic, which honestly makes sense since I can remember as a middle schooler thinking that everyone should get into a relationship based upon personality, not looks. Being attractive always seemed like it should be irrelevant for everyone (obviously its not, but its my orientation coming out there a bit).  

 

I've also had some more recent developments as well. The thought of dating a person had previously crossed my mind a grand total of 3 times in my life, and I was always very uncomfortable with the thought. However, my friend and previous roommate who is a lesbian and knows I'm ace and basically everything else about me has been joking around about us dating/getting married a lot lately. We also get a tad flirty with each other, and to my surprise, I'm ok with it. I've been seriously considering dating this person and I'm actually comfortable with the thought, which is a very new concept for me. This may or may not lead to my first time dating, which is something I honestly didn't think would happen, and its weird because its also a completely different feeling from what I got when I fell in love with my best friend. I have kinda felt like trying dating with a guy once, but it was also a very uncomfortable thought at the same time. So I have to wonder if its just the specific circumstances and I am still a bidemiromantic or if I am a lesbian demiromantic. However, I have lately been thinking that realistically I feel like I'd be much more likely to date a girl. 

 

This turned out more long winded than I intended, but basically I'm still trying to figure it all out. Feelings are complicated, especially when they are new and unique. But until I work through them, I'll know that I'm a proud demiromantic ace of some kind.

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