magpie6 Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 So I've known for a long time I'm bisexual - but I've started questioning if I'm somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. I've never really had a romantic crush on anyone, I even used to make fake crushes up to fit in during highschool. The one exception would be my ex, but the truth is I never loved him romantically, more just in my own weird best friend/companion way. The only other relationship I've had would best be described as a queerplatonic relationship with my asexual friend. There have been people I have nearly dated/flirted with since, but I pushed them away as I quickly reaslised I didn't have a crush on them and that I don't want a relationship like that. Thinking about things more, romantic gestures (such as flowers, gifts, romantic dinners- I'd much rather get a takeaway, drink and play games like close friends would) make me really uncomfortable - though I have reciprocated them purely because I knew my ex would appreciate it and it would make him happy. Things are so confusing though because I crave affection and intimacy with other people. I enjoy cuddling and kissing people, either platonically with friends or sexually, for me it doesn't ever seem romantic, just intimate. The most comfortable and happy I've been was in a close FWB situation where we could be intimate, but we still hung out as close friends. (That ended for other reasons, but we're still friends) I know that I would be happiest in a close best friendship/companion situation where I could love in my own weird sexual/platonic way. But I don't know what that means for my identity. Or how to even understand why I can't love people like that, and accept myself for it. (I'm new here, so if I've posted this in the wrong place please tell me) Link to post Share on other sites
Feynman Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 First off, welcome to AVEN, @magpie6! Although romanticism can be difficult to define, it does sound like you could be aromatic or greyromantic. There are other forms of attraction, such as sensual attraction, which could well be what you're explaining. I would recommend joining Arocalypse, which is a forum for aromatic people—both sexual and asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
magpie6 Posted February 18, 2019 Author Share Posted February 18, 2019 Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Howard Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 @magpie6 You sound a bit like me. I thought for awhile I had not romantic inclination but did have sensual attraction. In a forum post I created to see if one would classify different types of sensual attraction, one person, I don't remember how she said it, that I'm probably romantic, but just not into conventional dating. Afterall, she did not like making out with strangers and I see myself in the same boat. So now I am considering myself biromantic, slightly on the heteroside, but not into traditional dating. Peronaly, I like the idea of a fast food joint or a café for a first date. Link to post Share on other sites
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