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Are you closeted or "out"?

Are you closeted or "out"?   

188 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you consider yourself "out" or open about your (a)sexuality overall?

    • Yes
      84
    • No
      94
    • Other / I'm not LGBT+
      10
  2. 2. Are you out to your family?

    • Yes
      39
    • No
      77
    • Other / I'm not LGBT+
      3
    • Partially
      69
  3. 3. Are you out to your friends?

    • Yes
      59
    • No
      36
    • Other / I'm not LGBT+
      5
    • Partially
      88
  4. 4. How was your experience of coming out in general?

    • Positive
      66
    • Negative
      6
    • Unsure/Neutral
      72
    • I'm still closeted
      39
    • Other / I'm not LGBT+
      5


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anzu2snow

I'm very out and proud. I've told pretty much everyone. If I haven't, it means I forgot or haven't seen/spoken to them in a few years. I post quite a bit of aro and ace stuff on places like facebook and my blog. I'm somewhat active with the local Pride organization, too. Tried to get a local ace group going offline, but it didn't pan out. As a teen I had an inkling, but couldn't accept it myself. If I had, I think I would have still been closeted for a while. It wouldn't have felt safe enough. I think I've had the most negativity with coming out as ace. Although, it's mostly been very positive. The worst experience was when I came out as aro ace during Thanksgiving a few years ago. I waited until most people were gone, but one person was really rude to me. The fun part was that we agreed to drive her home beforehand. I didn't see her again, and she hasn't been invited to anything at our friends' place since. 

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Life With Masks

I'm out but only to family and one friend. My responses have mostly been negative to neutral to people ignoring it. I hated having to discuss about having libido and such with family member, uncomfortable as hell.

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GentlemanCambrioleur

Out to some of my friends. I tried to come out to my mom, she just assumed I was straight and confused. So...kinda out to my family. Not telling my dad, because he's a jerk. Idk if I wanna tell my sis. Generally I'm in this closet because I don't wanna deal with potential aftereffects of coming out. The potential of...being treated differently thing doesn't appeal to me.

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brpr

I'm only out to one of my friends, only because I know he can keep a secret and because I know he would understand (he thought I was ace before I knew I was ace). I'll most likely never come out to my family, because I'm almost certain they wouldn't believe that asexuality is a thing.

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chandrakirti

Quite happily out. No intentions of going back in.

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Toa Lhikan

I'm out to no one. I don't see the reason why my friends and family would need to know that. I would only come out if a potential partner came up. But I don't want to have  a partner, so this only a theoretical idea.

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arani86

Coming out as a lesbian went very very poorly, but I'm entirely out and have been for nearly 15 years. I've never really said it to my dad's family, but it's on my facebook and everywhere and I've been openly homoromantic and only in relationships with women the past decade and a half so if they don't know it's 'cause their not paying attention. I present masculine of center so everyone reads me as gay. They usually ask, I'm always honest. 

 

I do not, however, talk much about my asexuality. It's really not anyone's business whether or not I'm having sex. If I'm talking to friends and it comes up I definitely am honest about it, and I'm learning to speak of it to romantic partners. I've been out for about a year in that sense. That's tricky and I'm in the process of being more out and open about it. 

My gender identity and asexuality are too complex for my older family to really understand. Though my dad used to switch between referring to me as his son or daughter without me ever mentioning my gender identity. He gets me on an intrinsic level that way, but he's a total doof in other ways. They're doing very well these days with me being gay, they either accept it or they ignore it, which is better than I expected after my coming out debacle when I was in my mid to late teens. 

 

 

 

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Transformed

Long story short, my family doesn’t know what asexuality means and they wouldn’t believe it anyway(I’ve tried to explain), so I’m not out. They just think I’m gay. They aren’t too happy about that either. 😕

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Hunji Qi

I came out to my friends and classmates, they are very supportive. My professor even spent 20 minutes of class time educating the class about asexuality. However, my family is very phobic with anything regarding LGBTQA+, so still not ready to come out to them.

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Iam9man

I’m out to those close to me and making a point of “outing myself” when asked.

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TheCatBehind

My experience so far was neutral-positive. People don't know but are willing to learn, or just don't particularly care – just knowing I'm queer is good enough for them (and I don't particularly care to make asexuality my main feature once coming out, so–)

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MollyDMA

People usually didn't care or were just confused. I have had one or two people ask me waaaaay too personal questions about my lack of sexual attraction. I didn't like her after that

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Dreamsexual

.

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HonoraryJedi

I'm aro/ace. I think I can be considered 'out' but it is difficult to pick a good answer in the poll because I was never really in the closet, so there was never really a need to 'come out'. It isn't a secret, it just also isn't relevant in a lot of situations. So, there would be a bunch of people who don't know. Am I out to my friends? I mean, I told some of them? But it is very rarely relevant to conversation. Am I out to my family? Well, yes, the matter of my lack of interest in relationships has been discussed so yeah. I guess I kind of treat is as any character trait or fact about me. Sometimes its relevant and then I mention it, but often it isn't. I never 'came out' as a separate thing.

 

So, it is not like everyone who knows me knows I'm ace. But it is not like it's a secret or anything.

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The Terrible Travis

I'm in a middle ground between the two. I don't hide it, but I never really "came out" either. 

 

I just don't really see any point in announcing to people "hey everyone, just letting you know, I don't want to fuck anyone!" lol. 

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Dreamsexual

.

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Anthracite_Impreza
3 hours ago, The Terrible Travis said:

I'm in a middle ground between the two. I don't hide it, but I never really "came out" either. 

 

I just don't really see any point in announcing to people "hey everyone, just letting you know, I don't want to fuck anyone!" lol. 

Same, as regards asexuality anyway.

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