NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Hey people! Everyone seems to be introducing themselves so I will too. I'm 21 and from the UK, from a Christian family which gives me the perfect excuse for not being sexually attracted to anyone. I've known about asexuality since it was offhandedly mentioned when I was 18ish, but it's only recently I've begun to seriously consider it. I'm still trying to work out how this fits with my core beliefs and experiences e.c.t and what this means for me. I think I still can be romantically attracted to people, it's just the sexual attraction part isn't there. Growing up, I've always felt like everyone else had a guidebook for relationships and "normal" human behaviour, and not only did I not have the guidebook, but I couldn't even read the language it was written in. So now I'm asking lots of questions and probably overthinking everything, but I'm really happy to have found my people 😊. How did you guys find out about Aven and asexuality? Link to post Share on other sites
Barbara! Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Hi there, and welcome! I have only been a member for one hour, but I think I'm still qualified to greet others. 😂 Personally, I found out about asexuality because of the wonders of the internet and all the info it provides on queer identities/lifestyles. It's good to have you here! Have a slice of cake! Link to post Share on other sites
Ajdla Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 That cake looks pretty good Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 Awww, thanks Brandon, that's really nice of you! I think I saw your welcome post somewhere around too. I found out because a friend asked me who I found "hot" and I told her I didn't find anyone hot. She didn't believe me at first, and then said something along the lines of "are you asexual or something?". I shrugged and promptly forgot about it until recently. But welcome yourself!! And thank you very much for the cake, I do hope you've had some yourself Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 @NessieAvery Welcome to AVEN! In my case, I realised that I'm Asexual in my early teens, around 14 when I started hearing sexual comments from my peers and in media and found that they bewildered me. And I learned about AVEN many years ago when I saw a talk by AVEN's founder on the television. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 Thanks!! I can definitely relate to your story. Also, that's a beast of a cake, wow Link to post Share on other sites
Denoscar Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Hello, welcome to AVEN!! I hope you'll like it here. I honestly don't remember exactly how I found out about Asexuality, but I can say that finding out has changed me for the better. I've had better attitude, better confidence, etc after I knew. Here's a purple cake: Link to post Share on other sites
Barbara! Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 3 minutes ago, NessieAvery said: Awww, thanks Brandon, that's really nice of you! I think I saw your welcome post somewhere around too. I found out because a friend asked me who I found "hot" and I told her I didn't find anyone hot. She didn't believe me at first, and then said something along the lines of "are you asexual or something?". I shrugged and promptly forgot about it until recently. But welcome yourself!! And thank you very much for the cake, I do hope you've had some yourself You're welcome, hun! Ha, that's a funny way of realizing your orientation! You saw my welcome post? Do you mean this? Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 1 minute ago, Belly Button Brandon said: You're welcome, hun! Ha, that's a funny way of realizing your orientation! You saw my welcome post? Do you mean this? Yup, that's the one! Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 3 minutes ago, Denoscar said: Hello, welcome to AVEN!! I hope you'll like it here. I honestly don't remember exactly how I found out about Asexuality, but I can say that finding out has changed me for the better. I've had better attitude, better confidence, etc after I knew. Here's a purple cake: Thanks! My favourite colour too! Link to post Share on other sites
gingerfennec Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Nice to meet you! I'm also new here and I am in the same boat as you are. I really like how you described how it looked like others had a "guidebook" (totally going to be using that metaphor). Link to post Share on other sites
rosemerry2626 Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 hi friend! i just joined today as well. 🙂 i have been experiencing discomfort similar to asexuality since i was younger, and it just hasn't gone away. i did not realize i was asexual until about five months ago; i hadn't given myself a word/label for what i was feeling. i remember looking different things up on google that i was going through in my mind and i found this site (hadn't yet joined) and saw that i showed similar traits to the FAQ's and different things like that. i'm still figuring it out! i'm only a couple years younger than you though, and i'm always here to talk! you're never alone ❤️ here's my lil welcome cake to you!!!: 🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 Just now, gingerfennec said: Nice to meet you! I'm also new here and I am in the same boat as you are. I really like how you described how it looked like others had a "guidebook" (totally going to be using that metaphor). You too! I'm hoping the more I learn about asexuality, the clearer things will get for me. And yes, please steal the metaphor anytime Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 2 minutes ago, rosemerry2626 said: hi friend! i just joined today as well. 🙂 i have been experiencing discomfort similar to asexuality since i was younger, and it just hasn't gone away. i did not realize i was asexual until about five months ago; i hadn't given myself a word/label for what i was feeling. i remember looking different things up on google that i was going through in my mind and i found this site (hadn't yet joined) and saw that i showed similar traits to the FAQ's and different things like that. i'm still figuring it out! i'm only a couple years younger than you though, and i'm always here to talk! you're never alone ❤️ here's my lil welcome cake to you!!!: 🍰 Wow, so many new people! Thank you very much 🎂 have a cake right back too. I can definitely understand being reluctant to give myself a label, especially as my parents think it'll happen with the right person. I'm open to that possibility, but for now, the characteristics of "asexual" seem to fit me so why not learn as much as I can Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Welcome! I’m from the UK too, what part are you from? I’m from Gatport Airwick Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 5 hours ago, Lichley said: Welcome! I’m from the UK too, what part are you from? I’m from Gatport Airwick 😂😂😂 I'm from Liverpool. Grew up in North Yorkshire though practically the middle of nowhere Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Hi fellow Brit! I'm also from Liverpool but grew up in North Wales. I only recently realised I'm ace, having been married for 20 years. Have some cake! Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 2 hours ago, CustardCream said: Hi fellow Brit! I'm also from Liverpool but grew up in North Wales. I only recently realised I'm ace, having been married for 20 years. Have some cake! Thank you very much!! I'm really happy I'm not the only one in my area, I'm slowly learning there are more of us than I thought Link to post Share on other sites
sofircecy Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 I can SO relate to the thing you said about not having the normal human behavior guidebook. I don't have it either-- do you think they sell it anywhere? Link to post Share on other sites
NessieAvery Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 On 2/15/2019 at 10:34 PM, sofircecy said: I can SO relate to the thing you said about not having the normal human behavior guidebook. I don't have it either-- do you think they sell it anywhere? I'm glad I'm not the only one! With stuff related to normal human behaviour, I would recommend the store "Trial and Error", but I'm still looking for a shop that sells stuff on relationships Link to post Share on other sites
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