L26

I'm not sure if I'm on the asexual spectrum or not

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L26

Hi!

So I just started researching asexuality and the spectrum, and I can't decide if I fall in the spectrum or not yet, so I was hoping someone could help me figure it out. I've kissed before, and I've had sex before, however whenever I've had sex I've always had some alcohol in me. However, I can tell I don't necessarily enjoy it (I tend to get bored) and I don't crave it. However, I definitely crave kissing or making out with someone, and maybe the occasional touching, but beyond that I don't crave sex necessarily. I know that I am attracted to males, and therefore I am straight, but am I also able to be considered "graysexual"? Beyond kissing and making out, there's not a lot of sexual acts that I really enjoy doing. I would love some help/advice.

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Galactic Turtle

Welcome to AVEN! 

 

If you were in a serious relationship with someone and they had no interest in ever engaging in sexual acts with you would that make you happy?

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vinlan

One of the other members on this forum, in my introduction post, shared the following with me because I can relate to parts of how you describe your own experience. Maybe it'll help you:

 

Asexuality is a lack of Sexual Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone.

But there are other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction.
There's Romantic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone.
There's Sensual Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like kissing or cuddling.
There's Aesthetic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty.
There's Platonic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have a deep friendship with someone.

 

I guess the most important thing to note is that not everyone fits perfectly into binaries. As you said, it's entirely possible and okay for you to fall somewhere in the middle.

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MichaelTannock

Welcome to AVEN!

 

You could be a Heteroromantic Asexual.

Asexuality is not a lack of libido, but a lack of Sexual Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have sex with someone.
Meaning an Asexual can experience arousal, and have sex, but if what you're feeling doesn't lead to the desire to have sex with the person you're feeling it towards, then it's not Sexual Attraction, even if it is an attraction or arousal.
But there are other types of attraction besides Sexual Attraction.
There's Romantic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have a romantic relationship with someone.
There's Sensual Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like kissing or cuddling.
There's Aesthetic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty.
There's Platonic Attraction, which we define as leading to the desire to have a deep friendship with someone.
And more.

 

Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake,

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