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What is your experience of sensual attraction/activity?


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12 minutes ago, Cammino said:

Wow, you found the words for me.

Additionally ... in principle I don't want to be touched. But if I don't avoid to be touched, it is a privilege, as if saying "You are allowed to come closer". According to my not liking to be just touched by whoever, I'm almost passive in touching somebody in the beginning. Maybe this way I also want to find out if this sensual attraction is mutual.

 

What is a cis female? Is there anywhere a topic explaining abbreviations?

Glad I could help. ☺

 

Cis is short for Cisgender.  That means a person who's gender and sex align with what they were assigned at birth.  So if you were born a girl/female or a boy/male and that feels right to you, you are a cisgender person.  Your brain and body match. 

 

However, just because a person isn't cisgender, that doesn't automatically make them transgender.  I personally don't consider myself cis or trans.  I'm nonbinary.  In my case, nonbinary means I'm not a man or a woman in my mind (gender).  My body (sex) is female, but I feel I shouldn't look like a "standard female."  I don't want male genitalia or a beard, but I do think I should have a lower voice, flat chest and a more muscular, square body shape instead of curves.  I hope this all makes sense because I don't know how else to explain it.  lol

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On 2/9/2019 at 6:43 AM, BeakLove said:

(1) How do you experience sensual activity and with whom? How intimate are you willing to get?

Already when I was child I did not like to be touched. But if I liked somebody, I played as if I fell asleep and my head by accident came leaning against their arm. Also I had a very soft blanket, I loved to strike my skin with it.

It was my first long-term girlfriend who made me aware that I loved her touch, that I'm not in principle against being touched. 

She slept over at my place. After I switched off the lights, she cuddled up and I did not want to sleep to enjoy feeling her, her warmth, listening to her breath. Her arm over my belly, gently striking her arm with my fingertips ... I was happy. It was so special for me.

On 2/9/2019 at 6:43 AM, BeakLove said:

(2) Why does sensual activity hold an appeal to you? What do you feel you "get" out of it. (I appreciate that's a difficult question).

With somebody I love to touch and to be touched is high intimacy for me, intense, not wanting more. 

On 2/9/2019 at 6:43 AM, BeakLove said:

(3)  If you are asexual, and only experience sensual attraction towards the sex to whom you are romantically attracted, why do you think that is? 

So far I think I'm less romantical, I feel attracted to unconventional minds, to have long and deep also challenging discussions. Things like Valentines is not my sort of thing, I call it commercial crap.

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24 minutes ago, TrippleL said:

Cisgender: A person whose gender matches the sex that they were assigned at birth 🙂

 

 

aaaah ... thank you very much 🙂

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@TrippleL Some of the definitions on that list aren't quite accurate.  For example, it says Transmasculine is a person who is masculine but not a man.  I don't consider myself a man or trans in any way, and I'm still masculine.  Masculinity isn't exclusive to cis males/men or trans people.  Even butch lesbians are masculine, but they aren't trans or cis males/men.  Not sure why those definitions are written that way.

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15 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

However, just because a person isn't cisgender, that doesn't automatically make them transgender.  I personally don't consider myself cis or trans.  I'm nonbinary.  In my case, nonbinary means I'm not a man or a woman in my mind (gender).  My body (sex) is female, but I feel I shouldn't look like a "standard female."  I don't want male genitalia or a beard, but I do think I should have a lower voice, flat chest and a more muscular, square body shape instead of curves.  I hope this all makes sense because I don't know how else to explain it.  lol

It not only makes sense, this knocks me off my feet!

As a child I wanted to be a boy and I hated puberty especially that I developed big breasts. I hated that boys no longer regarded me as one of them but in a way, which I did not like. The whole gender issue was somehow strange for me. I did not want to attract men sexually but I liked it when not too girly woman felt attracted to me. Something is androgyn about me.

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Fluffy Femme Guy

(1) How do you experience sensual activity and with whom? How intimate are you willing to get?
 

I experience it towards my QPR 'girlfriend'* , it generally manifests itself as a desire to hug/cuddle or lean on her.
These activites is sometimes accompanied by 'cooing'. I enjoy telling her I love her and that she's cute, etc. since she's adorable and I care about her a lot.
We do not kiss. To me that's reserved for romantic relationships, and I do not think of her in a romantic way.
We have had instances of being cuddled up, watching a show, and feeding each other.

 


(2) Why does sensual activity hold an appeal to you? What do you feel you "get" out of it. (I appreciate that's a difficult question).


Cuddling is very calming and comforting, and it shows a lot of mutual trust.
She has a much larger emotional appetite for physical bonding than I, but it feels nice for both of us either way.
I can really 'let down my hair' around her. I can be very relaxed, open and vunerable, which feels very nice.

 


(3) If you are asexual, and only experience sensual attraction towards the sex to whom you are romantically attracted, why do you think that is?


I'm aromantic, but I can only experience sensual attraction to people who I have some form of emotional attachment towards, and even then it's still very rare for me, but it's always been toward females when it does happen.
I guess that makes me some kind of 'demisensual' person.


 

*:
I do think of her as my girlfriend, but I use quotes because of how culturally loaded words like girlfriend/boyfried/partner are.
Since most would assume it's romantic and/or sexual. Which it's not, but there really isn't a short and simple word for this kind of thing yet.

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2 hours ago, Cammino said:

It not only makes sense, this knocks me off my feet!

As a child I wanted to be a boy and I hated puberty especially that I developed big breasts. I hated that boys no longer regarded me as one of them but in a way, which I did not like. The whole gender issue was somehow strange for me. I did not want to attract men sexually but I liked it when not too girly woman felt attracted to me. Something is androgyn about me.

That's great. ☺👍

 

For me personally, I feel like my body should be somewhere in the middle.  Androgynous but leaning towards masculine.

 

I don't want men to be attracted to me at all, but I definitely like attention from feminine girls.

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1. What I experience is not something I'd call sensual "attraction" because it's not at all related to romantic attraction or even to specific individuals. I don't generally crave cuddling or hugs, I could take or leave that. But i do have minor cravings for certain things like having my hair played with or back scratched and shoulders massaged, things that give me a sort of tingly, good feeling that's hard to explain.

As far as with whom, that doesn't really matter to me as long as it is someone I'm comfortable with and trust. It doesn't have to be a romantic partner, a close friend I trust is good too!

 

2. I don't get too much out of it emotionally, its mostly just physical. I enjoy the sensation of certain types of touch. I don't really tie touch to romantic intimacy, strangely enough. There's just a disconnect there.

 

3. I actually have no preference, i enjoy touch from males and females if they are someone i trust....even though I'm only aesthetically attracted to men. For me, as long as it's a person I feel comfortable with, gender or attraction is irrelevant.

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(1) How do you experience sensual activity and with whom? How intimate are you willing to get?

When I am aesthetically and Romantically attracted to someone I have a very strong urge to be close to them to hold them, cuddle them,kiss them and caress them. I  also really love spooning with my girlfriend. 

 

This is pretty much us most days ˅˅

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(2) Why does sensual activity hold an appeal to you? What do you feel you "get" out of it. (I appreciate that's a difficult question).

I don't really know how to explain it, but its euphoric, I always feel very loved, appreciated and fulfilled after any sensual activity with my girlfriend. It also feel it makes our bond stronger the more often we engage in sensual activity.

 

(3)  If you are asexual, and only experience sensual attraction towards the sex to whom you are romantically attracted, why do you think that is? 

Sensual activity is a normally very intimate by nature so I think it would be natural regardless of orientation that you would only engage in it with someone you have a romantic interest in.

 

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  • 1 month later...

I think I'm a heteroromantic asexual, or grey-sexual. I'm not 100% sure. 

 

1. How do you experience sensual activity and with whom? How intimate are you willing to get?

 

As for sensual activity and attraction, I'm all for it. When I'm in a romantic relationship with a woman, it is a substantial part. As for how intimate I'm willing to get, I'd say very intimate. Removing clothes does not bother me at all. 

 

2. Why does sensual activity hold an appeal to you? What do you feel you "get" out of it. 

 

To me it feels right to get physically closer with a girlfriend as we're getting closer in general. I feel like the physical part of the relationship is one important aspect. I also can get arousal when the sensual activity gets more on the intimate side, which is a good feeling. 

 

3. If you are asexual, and only experience sensual attraction towards the sex to whom you are romantically attracted, why do you think that is? 

 

Not exactly sure I'm understanding this question correctly, but for me I'm only attracted to females in any way whether it's romantic or sensual. Is this suggesting that if I'm attracted to women that I'm not asexual? I'm probably misunderstanding. 

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