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Meta4icalMe

Sex and falling in love?? Do you need one for the other to happen?

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Meta4icalMe
1 minute ago, chandrakirti said:

That's really exciting @Meta4icalMe...if you don't mind, can you keep us posted about the study? I'd love to hear more.

 

You bet. As I find out stuff I’ll add it to this thread.

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

Thank you so much! There are the 'flat earth' thinkers who don't believe that neurochemistry can influence behaviour, which is probably par for the course in our 'post truth' society.

 

Every study that shows the correlation between neurochemical and endocrine pathways with behaviour is a step closer to understanding what actually makes us tick!

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ryn2
38 minutes ago, Meta4icalMe said:

Chocolate was part of the test.

Interesting.  I am a regular chocolate eater and crave it if I miss a “dose.”  I do have a sweet tooth in general but my desire for chocolate is much stronger than my desire for sweet things in general.

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

Well, there's the excuse for chocolate tonight!😆

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ryn2
1 hour ago, chandrakirti said:

Well, there's the excuse for chocolate tonight!😆

My excuse for chocolate is that there is chocolate.  😂

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Meta4icalMe
4 hours ago, ryn2 said:

Interesting.  I am a regular chocolate eater and crave it if I miss a “dose.”  I do have a sweet tooth in general but my desire for chocolate is much stronger than my desire for sweet things in general.

That’s what the study shows... A-sexual people have strong cravings for chocolate and don’t just eat a little bit when we indulge. My average will be about 6 to 8 chocolate bars through out one day or a whole bag a chocolate chips, the dark semi sweet ones...sometimes I will eat chocolate for 2 days in a row. And then I won’t eat it again for about a week.

When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I craved chocolate daily and I indulged. As I’ve gotten older I eat less because the cravings are fewer. I have Celiac Disease so I’m slender and I’ve never packed on the pounds from the cravings.

Its funny you call your chocolate “a dose” because when they allow me to eat it, they also call it dosing me with chocolate 😁

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Meta4icalMe
4 hours ago, chandrakirti said:

Well, there's the excuse for chocolate tonight!😆

Go for it 😂 it’s sex for your brain .... that’s what the Dr told me anyways. The darker chocolate works best for creating oxytocin... It’s an actual addiction reaction in us because our brain has re-routed how it gets it into our body with chocolate. I wish I could remember exactly what the Dr said about it. I’m paraphrasing what he said but it’s what he said in a nutshell.

Its really hard to not eat it when I want now. They haven’t allowed me to eat it for three weeks and a couple of days ago I started feeling depressed.... I was told to expect that to happen. I will go in next week for another psychological examination then they will test me while they allow me to eat chocolate.... then they will do an immediate scan of my brain. I stay over night for the sleep test and then I take another psychological test mid-day. I’ve done this 3 times so far and this will be my fourth time doing it. They do it about every 4 months it seems.

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xstatic ☆゚°˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
3 hours ago, Meta4icalMe said:

That’s what the study shows... A-sexual people have strong cravings for chocolate and don’t just eat a little bit when we indulge. My average will be about 6 to 8 chocolate bars through out one day or a whole bag a chocolate chips, the dark semi sweet ones...sometimes I will eat chocolate for 2 days in a row. And then I won’t eat it again for about a week.

When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I craved chocolate daily and I indulged. As I’ve gotten older I eat less because the cravings are fewer. I have Celiac Disease so I’m slender and I’ve never packed on the pounds from the cravings.

Its funny you call your chocolate “a dose” because when they allow me to eat it, they also call it dosing me with chocolate 😁

Whaaaaaat??  That's really interesting!  My ace s/o loooves chocolate.  Like way more than anyone I know.  I guess I got him the right gift for Valentine's Day!  (4 boxes of Thin Mints) 😂😂😂

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa
9 hours ago, ryn2 said:

My excuse for chocolate is that there is chocolate.  😂

Haha! That used to be mine...but I'll take the scientific proof to back it up now!😆

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Meta4icalMe
4 hours ago, xstatic said:

Whaaaaaat??  That's really interesting!  My ace s/o loooves chocolate.  Like way more than anyone I know.  I guess I got him the right gift for Valentine's Day!  (4 boxes of Thin Mints) 😂😂😂

Isn’t it interesting! I feel very lucky to be part of the study and just the chocolate study shows that our brain/body chem is different from the sexual norms....we are our own norm 🙂

They are testing other foods and vitamins as well but I don’t know much about those because the dietician doesn’t share much. It was Jeckal ( Drs nickname ) that shared the chocolate info with me. There are about 15 professionals I’ve seen during this trial and Jeckal is the one that shares interesting things he’s found about my cause and effect...I really enjoy talking to him and he has shared with me that his wife is A-sexual. She’s the reason he spear headed finding out why we are like this. It’s my hope that by the end of the study the reasons for why we are the way we are, will be transparent....answers finally 😉

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Lucinda

How did you find out about the study?

 

Did you answer a questionnaire in order for the researchers to determine that you met their criteria for an asexual?

 

I like unsweetened bakers chocolate but don't gorge on it.  Being required to eat 6 milk chocolate candy bars wouldn't work for me.  Such a weirdo, am I right? :lol:

 

Lucinda

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ryn2
10 minutes ago, Lucinda said:

Being required to eat 6 milk chocolate candy bars wouldn't work for me

I don’t like milk chocolate and would struggle to eat six candy bars in a sitting, but I could definitely eat six servings of good dark/semisweet chocolate in a day if I didn’t intentionally limit myself.  I also notice that eating the chocolate does not lessen the craving.

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Lucinda

The thing is:. Many people who aren't asexual crave chocolate.  Are we to conclude they are not having enough sex?  And if a non-asexual receives chocolate for Valentine's, will they want more or less sex?

 

😕 

 

Lucinda

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ryn2
9 minutes ago, Lucinda said:

The thing is:. Many people who aren't asexual crave chocolate.  Are we to conclude they are not having enough sex?  And if a non-asexual receives chocolate for Valentine's, will they want more or less sex?

 

😕

 

Lucinda

Oh, totally agreed.  I’m likely not asexual.  I just find the topic interesting because I have unusual (non)reactions to many things and have always been curious as to how that - biochemistry, mental health, etc. - all ties together.

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Telecaster68

I assume they've designed the research to take that into account, by having a control group, but we don't know this.

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Meta4icalMe
1 hour ago, Lucinda said:

How did you find out about the study?

 

Did you answer a questionnaire in order for the researchers to determine that you met their criteria for an asexual?

 

I like unsweetened bakers chocolate but don't gorge on it.  Being required to eat 6 milk chocolate candy bars wouldn't work for me.  Such a weirdo, am I right? :lol:

 

Lucinda

I have a friend who knows the Dr that started the study. She and her husband were at his home for a dinner party and the subject, at that time was the upcoming study on what brain related biological and chemical causes there might be in the makeup of an A-sexual person. She told him about me and that she felt I was perfect for it. She sent me a text and asked if it was okay to give them my number... that’s how it started.

 

An appointment was made to go speak with him and others for about 3 hours.  I also filled out their questionnaire and release forms.

 

You misunderstood about the chocolate amount.... my cravings will have me eat that much during a day or 2. The study test only requires you to eat at least the equivalent of about a candy bar and a half during the testing period...but you are encouraged to eat as much as your craving needs to satisfy you.

 

I’m pretty sure each person in the study requires different amounts for their cravings....so no, you’re not weird 😉

We are required to eat only dark chocolate as it releases the most oxytocin from the brain I was told. Which works just fine with me because I adore dark chocolate and it makes me feel fantastic almost euphoric when I eat it! I love it when the dietician cooks this amazing dark chocolate cake that makes my toes curl with delight! If you bought a slice of it at a fancy restaurant I bet it would cost about $25. So far it’s been my favorite thing in the eating chocolate tests which is unusual because I’m not a cake eater... Oh and I get to have a glass of this amazing red wine with it 😋

 

Drinking certain amounts of alcohol are in the test as well for testing my inhibition changes or sexual responses while intoxicated.

Sometimes the tests are lots of fun and I don’t have to worry about driving home... they have me sleep there to test my brains sleep and dream patterns after chocolate and or alcohol.

 

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Telecaster68

Do you know if there's a control group, for instance to compare the responses to chocolate?

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Meta4icalMe
53 minutes ago, Telecaster68 said:

Do you know if there's a control group, for instance to compare the responses to chocolate?

Yes, there is. They have 100 A-sexuals in the controlled study and 100 normal sexually active people to compare their reactions with. We all take the same tests. The ages range from 18 to 65 with 50 women and 50 men in each group of study. That’s all I am allowed to know about the other people in the study.

Hope this helps you

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Meta4icalMe
2 hours ago, Lucinda said:

The thing is:. Many people who aren't asexual crave chocolate.  Are we to conclude they are not having enough sex?  And if a non-asexual receives chocolate for Valentine's, will they want more or less sex?

 

😕

 

Lucinda

It’s not just about the craving it’s about the difference in the amount of oxytocin the brain produces and how it affects the pleasure center of the brain and the bodies reaction to it from what I understand.

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Meta4icalMe

Lucinda, chocolate is craved by all kinds of people but the tests are focusing on why it seems that A-sexual people in general have stronger cravings for it... the Dr said that they are curious to find out if the brains of an A-sexual craves it in substitution and does the body find the same satisfaction from it as sex in the normally sexually active group. Also the levels of oxytocin being secreted by the brain....They compare it to someone in the study who has just had sex verses the A-sexual who has just ate chocolate.

Does this help answer your question? I wish I could go into more detailed explainations but I can only share the things I’m privy to or that have been explained by the Dr before the tests.

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

I take it that as you already know you're ace, the study is double blind to the researchers carrying out the tests?

 

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jay williams

Hmm. I have no cravings for chocolate, and if given a choice of flavors chocolate will likely be the last one I would choose. I do like an occasional good chocolate candy bar, or a good chocolate from a box of chocolates. So I am not anti-chocolate. It is just that I can take it or leave it, and the latter is the usual wish.

But I am not purely asexual either, although I think I lean way closer to the asexual end of the spectrum than to the other end. 

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MLJ
8 hours ago, Meta4icalMe said:

I’m pretty sure each person in the study requires different amounts for their cravings....so no, you’re not weird 😉

We are required to eat only dark chocolate as it releases the most oxytocin from the brain I was told.

Well, this would totally disqualify me from the study! I love chocolate, but I don't like dark chocolate. There's no way I could go for years not being able to eat chocolate because regular milk chocolate isn't allowed, lol!

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AllThisTime
On 2/7/2019 at 10:35 AM, jay williams said:

Those of us who do not have the storybook experience of falling in love, and then "making love" are presumably outliers. But we are what we are. More and more, we learn that there are all manner of gender and sexual variations among people. It is true we don't much hear about variations of romantic or human love. It would be interesting to learn more about that. 

Here is an interesting article about 7 types of love:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love

Thank you for pointing me to this interesting and timely article. It fits in with what I am currently personally exploring.  Two types of love that are described are especially meaningful to me in relationships.  With Philia, "Friendships founded on goodness are associated not only with mutual benefit but also with companionship, dependability, and trust" and "Ludus relationships are casual, undemanding, and uncomplicated but, for all that, can be very long-lasting".   "Love", "falling in love", "making love" -- this will be food for thought for V day.  I've got lots of thinking to do! 

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AllThisTime
On 2/12/2019 at 2:16 PM, Meta4icalMe said:

I’m in a A-sexual study of 100 people. It will last 3 to 5 years

This sounds very interesting and I'd love to hear more. 

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jay williams
21 hours ago, Meta4icalMe said:

Yes, there is. They have 100 A-sexuals in the controlled study and 100 normal sexually active people to compare their reactions with. We all take the same tests. The ages range from 18 to 65 with 50 women and 50 men in each group of study. That’s all I am allowed to know about the other people in the study.

Hope this helps you

Maybe you can't answer this question: What are the criteria for A-sexuals? Are they to have no libido, need to be "straight," or whatever? I think you did say that the A-sexuals are to have no partner. Did you respond to a lengthy questionnaire to qualify?

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Skycaptain

The original hypothesis may be true in many cases, hence "making love", love life" etc, but is not a be all and end all. 

Sex can be casual, swingers, business transactions etc. Likewise there are people in romantic relationships who don't have sex, either because both parties are asexual, voluntarily celibate, or, where there are medical reasons why sex isn't possible, have still formed a strong enough loving relationship that it rides above this. 

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ryn2
6 minutes ago, Skycaptain said:

love life

I always thought things like this were just remnants of people being a little prudish/puritanical around talking about sex (and other bodily functions, e.g., “powdering one’s nose”) in polite company.

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Meta4icalMe
On 2/13/2019 at 6:21 PM, MLJ said:

Well, this would totally disqualify me from the study! I love chocolate, but I don't like dark chocolate. There's no way I could go for years not being able to eat chocolate because regular milk chocolate isn't allowed, lol!

Hi MLJ... milk chocolate can be eaten too but not during the chocolate testing ...I’m only allowed dark chocolate when they allow it. All the rest of the time I can eat it when ever I want. Right now I’m in the chocolate study part of the testing. It lasts for another month and then it’s over.... I love both kinds of chocolate myself 🙂

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