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Virgin for Life


Tyger Songbird

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I'll be 34 soon, kissless virgin, and I don't have any plans on becoming sexually experienced.  I've never tried to have it with anyone, nor was I ever attracted to anyone in that particular way.  I do desire a romantic partner though.  If she wants sex at any point I've decided the only way I'm having it is if we're using adult toys and other "safer sex" accessories.  I think that has the potential to work out.  However, I'm really not interested in being in a relationship with someone who requires sex to be happy and expects me to initiate.  I'm perfectly content being a virgin.  No shame here. 

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45 minutes ago, tygersongbird said:

They'll ask, "Why? What's wrong with you?" Ugly, unattractive, dorky, dweeb, socially awkward- you name it. They'll mock you as such for being a virgin. Well, that's the way it goes for most.

Some of those apply to me, but they have nothing to do with my virgin status.

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40 minutes ago, Nick2 said:

Close enough to 68 yrs old to claim it and still a virgin. Do I win ???

Hail to the Victors! Can I join you in the winner's circle?

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18 minutes ago, AceOfHearts_85 said:

I'll be 34 soon, kissless virgin, and I don't have any plans on becoming sexually experienced.  I've never tried to have it with anyone, nor was I ever attracted to anyone in that particular way.  I do desire a romantic partner though.  If she wants sex at any point I've decided the only way I'm having it is if we're using adult toys and other "safer sex" accessories.  I think that has the potential to work out.  However, I'm really not interested in being in a relationship with someone who requires sex to be happy and expects me to initiate.  I'm perfectly content being a virgin.  No shame here. 

OK. That's cool. I understand the wanting a romantic partner part. If that's what you want, go for it. I'm personally want to be alone, and I'm not ashamed of it either. Hopefully society accepts it as cool as well and doesn't treat me as that creepy, weird, aloof neighbor that they deem probably kills puppies.

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Just now, tygersongbird said:

OK. That's cool. I understand the wanting a romantic partner part. If that's what you want, go for it. I'm personally want to be alone, and I'm not ashamed of it either. Hopefully society accepts it as cool as well and doesn't treat me as that creepy, weird, aloof neighbor that they deem probably kills puppies.

I think of you more as the wise neighbor that offers moral support and archery lessons.

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42 minutes ago, Duke Memphis said:

I think of you more as the wise neighbor that offers moral support and archery lessons.

I hope I'm not anyone's sexual target, that's for sure. But if I did any Olympic sport, archery sounds pretty radical. I like it. That and handball. However, does competitive singing count as a sport?

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55 minutes ago, Duke Memphis said:

Some of those apply to me, but they have nothing to do with my virgin status.

Same here. I'm definitely the geek and socially awkward. I live in that.

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37 - kissless, dateless etc. The 'novelty' of the idea of losing my virginity ran out of steam just over a decade ago, and I'm not looking for that to change. 

 

As others have said, it would be nice to have someone to be close with in a companion / close-friend / kindred-spirit sort of way, but I'm not going to force the issue. 

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20 hours ago, tygersongbird said:

OK. That's cool. I understand the wanting a romantic partner part. If that's what you want, go for it. I'm personally want to be alone, and I'm not ashamed of it either. Hopefully society accepts it as cool as well and doesn't treat me as that creepy, weird, aloof neighbor that they deem probably kills puppies.

Well I'm a demiromantic ace, so that's the reason why I desire a partner.  Companionship is something I strongly feel I want in my life.  Everyone's different, and that's okay.

 

Society seems to have quite a long ways to go before they accept things like Asexuality/Aromanticism.  It's hard to believe we're in the 21st century in the year 2019 and progress is still this slow.

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I'm a repulsed aroace virgin and the celibate life is for me~

 

Society plays up sex way too much. The way I see it, if you can go your entire life without going skydiving or swimming with sharks or travelling to that one holiday destination and that's considered just fine, despite the fact that most other people are doing it, then why can't the same be for sex? I'm not interested so I'm not going to force myself into a possibly traumatising situation just for the "mileage" and because it's what everyone else does.

 

If you're happy with how you're living now, then why upset it? That's what I think.

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everywhere and nowhere
On 2/4/2019 at 6:07 PM, Shiloh_Rose said:

Do wish many in society would stop equating 'virgins' to being naive and inexperienced though. I mean I am, but for other reasons and other things. :P But it's annoying that it's considered 'bad' like 'shouldn't you not be a virgin by now?' or that it's an insult, or some sort of rite of passage you haven't completed so therefore you aren't an adult or aren't x or y or z.

Definitely. My impression is that society tends to perceive virgins as eternal children.

There are a lot of automatic stereotypes which get triggered once you express your lack of interest in having sex. For example, that a person who doesn't want to have sex must be "frigid" and not just frigid, also cool, cold and unfeeling. And I'm none of that. I'm passionate! I'm red-hot! Just not about sex.

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8 hours ago, Redwylde said:

I'm a repulsed aroace virgin and the celibate life is for me~

 

Society plays up sex way too much. The way I see it, if you can go your entire life without going skydiving or swimming with sharks or travelling to that one holiday destination and that's considered just fine, despite the fact that most other people are doing it, then why can't the same be for sex? I'm not interested so I'm not going to force myself into a possibly traumatising situation just for the "mileage" and because it's what everyone else does.

 

If you're happy with how you're living now, then why upset it? That's what I think.

Exactly my opinion.

Well, I'm not aro and I'm not entirely repulsed - I'm indifferent to other people's sex and repulsed - or rather scared - exclusively when it's about a possibility of personally having sex. But I'm too not going to try sex ever because I just couldn't do it. I do feel some level of curiosity, but I simply can't have sex because the idea of being naked and vulnerable with another person is so utterly terrifying that I couldn't even want it.

And exactly: why are people mostly neutral about other people's interests and hobbies, but so intolerant when someone's non-interest is sex? (That said, I am interested in sex - on a theoretical level. Not in doing it, but in sexuality as a phenomenon.) Asexuality is just as morally and socially neutral. Some people don't like hot weather, some people don't like spicy food and some people don't like sex.

 

I just recalled... "You're a virgin who can't drive!" - I am indeed and, having very much anti-car, pro-public-transit, pro-pedestrian views about transportation in general, I wish that inability to drive was perceived as neutral too, as neutral as for example not having a talent for drawing or painting. A lot of people don't and not being able to drive isn't so uncommon either - I've read that approximately one person in ten shouldn't drive because they lack the abilities necessary to be a competent and safe driver (which range from quick reactions to ability to concentrate). It's just supporting safety to insist that people who could only be bad drivers shouldn't drive at all - and it's just supporting equality to create conditions in which nobody would have to drive...

Human variety is absolutely infinite. nobody's experience - or even internal experience, or thoughtfeeling - is identical to anyone else's, so why try to make pathologies out of traits which do zero harm to others?

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18 minutes ago, Phoenix the II said:

It was said that one gains magical powers right? :ph34r:

Yeah I heard somewhere that if you are Virgin when you hit 30 you will become a wizard. 

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1 minute ago, Kimmie. said:

Yeah I heard somewhere that if you are Virgin when you hit 30 you will become a wizard. 

Well that’s something I can look forward to in 10 years time. Who can resist magical abilities?

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On 2/6/2019 at 2:41 PM, Raire said:

37 - kissless, dateless etc. The 'novelty' of the idea of losing my virginity ran out of steam just over a decade ago, and I'm not looking for that to change. 

 

As others have said, it would be nice to have someone to be close with in a companion / close-friend / kindred-spirit sort of way, but I'm not going to force the issue. 

Cool. Well, I hope you find what you are looking for in that partner.

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9 hours ago, Bio 7 said:

Well that’s something I can look forward to in 10 years time. Who can resist magical abilities?

If so, I've got two years before I'm the Dark Magician from Yugi-Oh.

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I've got a dozen years left before I get my abilities. I hope they involve music.

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Tyger Songbird
On 2/6/2019 at 4:41 PM, Redwylde said:

I'm a repulsed aroace virgin and the celibate life is for me~

 

Society plays up sex way too much. The way I see it, if you can go your entire life without going skydiving or swimming with sharks or travelling to that one holiday destination and that's considered just fine, despite the fact that most other people are doing it, then why can't the same be for sex? I'm not interested so I'm not going to force myself into a possibly traumatising situation just for the "mileage" and because it's what everyone else does.

 

If you're happy with how you're living now, then why upset it? That's what I think.

Could not agree more,

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30 minutes ago, Mysticus Insanus said:

Looks like my Vogwarts letter is almost 15 years overdue.

And mine a half year.

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On 2/6/2019 at 3:29 PM, AceOfHearts_85 said:

Well I'm a demiromantic ace, so that's the reason why I desire a partner.  Companionship is something I strongly feel I want in my life.  Everyone's different, and that's okay.

 

Society seems to have quite a long ways to go before they accept things like Asexuality/Aromanticism.  It's hard to believe we're in the 21st century in the year 2019 and progress is still this slow.

Progress? People still want to take us back to us basically opening our legs and forcing us to have sex, as incels around are mad that girls won't be gifted to them for sex. I fear running into a date, and that person expecting me to have sex with them due to "dating obligation".

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I'll just link to the 'Official Virgin Age Meter +' in the spoiler, for all you wizards / witches, and those looking forward to being one. 

Spoiler because... it's very 4Chan and has potentially triggering words / phrases. Please be warned. 

 

Spoiler

4a3.jpg

 

Only another 12-13 years until I become a Wraith! Woo! 😜

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6 hours ago, tygersongbird said:

Progress? People still want to take us back to us basically opening our legs and forcing us to have sex, as incels around are mad that girls won't be gifted to them for sex. I fear running into a date, and that person expecting me to have sex with them due to "dating obligation".

"Progress" as in gay people can legally get married and trans people can legally transition and even have medical procedures covered by insurance in many cases.  Also the acknowledgement of asexuality in the DSM-5 listed as not being a disorder.  Not to mention the non-discrimination policies implemented in various establishments.  Yes, I consider that progress.  What I'm afraid of is the US's joke of a "president" taking back what was so hard to gain.

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On 2/7/2019 at 5:47 PM, Kimmie. said:

Yeah I heard somewhere that if you are Virgin when you hit 30 you will become a wizard. 

Yes, my life is really magical, Acing it says sarcastically.

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On Thursday, February 07, 2019 at 9:47 AM, Kimmie. said:

Yeah I heard somewhere that if you are Virgin when you hit 30 you will become a wizard. 

I also heard that every year past 30 your wizard powers increase.  I'll be 34 next month.  PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS! 🔮🌈

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On Wednesday, February 06, 2019 at 11:21 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

Definitely. My impression is that society tends to perceive virgins as eternal children.

There are a lot of automatic stereotypes which get triggered once you express your lack of interest in having sex. For example, that a person who doesn't want to have sex must be "frigid" and not just frigid, also cool, cold and unfeeling. And I'm none of that. I'm passionate! I'm red-hot! Just not about sex.

In my case my appearance doesn't help.  I still look like a teenager in high school even though I'm almost 34 years old.  I guess not ever wearing makeup and constantly buying clothes with cartoons on them is adding to people's perception of me as a child.  Riding my Razor scooter around just makes matters worse I suppose.  Did I mention I collect action figures?  LOL

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3 hours ago, Raire said:

I'll just link to the 'Official Virgin Age Meter +' in the spoiler, for all you wizards / witches, and those looking forward to being one. 

Spoiler because... it's very 4Chan and has potentially triggering words / phrases. Please be warned. 

 

  Hide contents

4a3.jpg

 

Only another 12-13 years until I become a Wraith! Woo! 😜

Is it odd that I starting believing it for a bit while reading it?

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I have no active interest in having sex. I’m nearly 25 and I’ve never done anything remotely romantic with anyone deliberately. No sex, no kissing, no head pats, no holding hands; no lewdness. I won’t dismiss the possibility of it happening someday in the future, but until I have a mental paradigm shift, I’m cool with being completely devoid of any romantic or sexual experiences. Would be cool if it actually gave me magical/holy powers though. Then it would be a done deal; I’d never have sex if I could smite someone on command. 🔥😇🌩

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Tyger Songbird
5 hours ago, Raire said:

I'll just link to the 'Official Virgin Age Meter +' in the spoiler, for all you wizards / witches, and those looking forward to being one. 

Spoiler because... it's very 4Chan and has potentially triggering words / phrases. Please be warned. 

 

  Hide contents

4a3.jpg

 

Only another 12-13 years until I become a Wraith! Woo! 😜

I am in the wizard zone. Everyone should tremble now at how evil I could be.

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