tygersongbird

Virgin for Life

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tygersongbird

I do want to basically make it clear to everyone that I'm simply not interested in sex or anything in general. I'm not interested in that. I'm more along the lines of saying that I don't want sex at all. I want no part in it, and I hope no one tries to force me to participate in it. It's not on my list to do.

 

However, I haven't really opened up to the fact I'm asexual with anyone in my immediate family about this, at least not yet. I simply know they would overall dismiss everything with asexuality down as something that doesn't exist. My area isn't exactly the type to be known to be sensitive to anything that's not straight. It just isn't really. So, I just don't tell them that, because I always worry they will dismiss it and deny I'm asexual anyway.

 

So, I guess I'm still in the closet being an asexual, really. I try my hardest to keep everything a wrapped-up secret, so that overall no one dares make fun of me for the fact I haven't had sex yet. Like I said, highly bigoted and bro culture I'm around. I know what they'll say: "You just need to get laid!" or "The right person will change your mind." Blah, blah, blah. It's all apparently stuff people just love to keep saying and has been parroted over 1,000 times here.

 

However, I just know for sure. I am looking to remaining a virgin for the rest of my life. I'm not even sure virgin is the right word for it. After all, most virgins who are waiting to wait for their wedding day or something to have sex. I'm not getting married nor having kids, so I'm not really waiting for anything at all, really. I think sex-free would be a better fit for this. I like this for sure better.

 

I know we have some sexual people on here that will be like "How can you know for sure you don't want sex if you've never done it?" Well, I don't have the overall perfect response to you, but I did know from a young age I never wanted to smoke cigarettes, and I still never have. So, I'm pretty certain when I know I don't want to do something that I'm pretty much know I'm not going to bend on my undesire. So, yes, I don't want sex, and I don't see a problem with it for everyone out there.

 

While I may be at risk for being the 40 year-old virgin stereotype (although one must ask, how is he a loser when he has the freedom to collect all those action figures and games? That sounds incredibly fun to me. I can't see the fault in that.), I am going to for it all. I'll be the 40, 50, 60, 70 year-old virgin, and I am okay with that, so long as I live to see that day.

 

What say you, AVEN?

 

Does anybody else possibly think they will remain a virgin for the rest of his or her life? Or is sex something overall everyone should try to do at some point in their lives? I'm seriously curious, my fellow asexuals.

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Duke Memphis

I have absolutely no plans to change my virgin status ever.

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CajunAce

I don't care for sex either and I've heard of relationships that have little to no sex. 

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firewallflower

It's always possible my feelings may change someday, but at least at this point in my life, I have no plans of "losing my virginity".

 

The idea of sex has no appeal for me (in fact, I find it pretty aversive), so why would I want to try something that I don't miss and that could potentially significantly affect me for the negative?

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Bio 7

I’m in a similar boat. I don’t see the appeal of it and will not be taking part.

It helps that I have no interest in relationships as well or it might be harder to make a relationship work without sex.

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Steve Rogers

Personally, I have no sexual desire and I'm repulsed just by the idea of making love. When I was younger (like 13 years old), I wanted to marry some girl that would feel the same and we would never have children naturally. To be honest, I still hope that one day I'll meet someone with the same feelings. Whatever happens in the future, I'm definitely staying virgin for the rest of my life.

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Mysticus Insanus

I'm a virgin at 44, and have absolutely no intention of ever changing that in this lifetime.

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CajunAce

Maybe we can form the "Virgin for Life" club

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œddy

There was a thread about this a few months back if you want to see some other replies on the topic. Took until I found out about asexuality and this site for me to realise I was only trying to 'achieve' whatever losing your virginity is due to societal pressure, I never actually cared or inherently wanted it in any way.

 

I still wonder if it would change me, but I don't care enough to find out as I'm happy without it.

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ZinxtheJinx

#Virgin4Life

 

There really is no appeal in sexual intercourse. I can't even watch actors/actresses in their underwear so why would I do something if I know I'm going to regret it?

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Galactic Turtle

Could've written that myself. :P

 

But yes, sex is not on my life agenda. That's what I say to people (only one has responded asking if I was asexual). In my mind it has always been in the same box with drugs, alcohol, smoking, coffee, and tattoos (conservative but whatever). I just have no interest. It has never existed. It certainly helps that I also have no interest in having a partner and have no libido. 

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Next-Level Consciousness

Same here. I'm not into sex and I hope no one forces me (rape).

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œddy
38 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said:

In my mind it has always been in the same box with drugs, alcohol, smoking, coffee, and tattoos (conservative but whatever).

You're right, I really need to get a tattoo 

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Shiloh_Rose

I would like a partner, but am perfectly content to remain a virgin for the rest of my life.

Do wish many in society would stop equating 'virgins' to being naive and inexperienced though. I mean I am, but for other reasons and other things. :P But it's annoying that it's considered 'bad' like 'shouldn't you not be a virgin by now?' or that it's an insult, or some sort of rite of passage you haven't completed so therefore you aren't an adult or aren't x or y or z.

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tygersongbird
6 hours ago, Next-Level Consciousness said:

Same here. I'm not into sex and I hope no one forces me (rape).

Oh, yeah. I feel the same way. How is it not rape to try to wear down your partner? Take no for an answer, ok?

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tygersongbird
7 hours ago, Galactic Turtle said:

Could've written that myself. :P

 

But yes, sex is not on my life agenda. That's what I say to people (only one has responded asking if I was asexual). In my mind it has always been in the same box with drugs, alcohol, smoking, coffee, and tattoos (conservative but whatever). I just have no interest. It has never existed. It certainly helps that I also have no interest in having a partner and have no libido. 

I'm the same way. I am not ever interested in having anything of those sorts. I don't drink coffee, smoke, tattoos are out of the question, and no booze, please. We'll be the life of the party, won't we? Virgin cuba libres all around!

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Galactic Turtle
12 minutes ago, tygersongbird said:

I'm the same way. I am not ever interested in having anything of those sorts. I don't drink coffee, smoke, tattoos are out of the question, and no booze, please. We'll be the life of the party, won't we? Virgin cuba libres all around!

My friends lovingly call me the chaperone. XD

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tygersongbird
7 hours ago, ZinxtheJinx said:

#Virgin4Life

 

There really is no appeal in sexual intercourse. I can't even watch actors/actresses in their underwear so why would I do something if I know I'm going to regret it?

Maybe we should start that as a hashtag. I'm saying. It would be an interesting hashtag.

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief

I'm only a virgin in the completely heteronormative sense of, if you're not able to get pregnant from it it's not sex, but I regret it because I'm pretty sex averse now. Just forced myself to do things I didn't like because I wanted to feel normal, and had a lot of negative feelings about my body from dysphoria and shame and stuff. But now just thinking about it is making me zone out, after my third relationship and ensuing mental health problems I pretty much realised I needed to stop dating and transition as well, for my mental health.

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tygersongbird
8 minutes ago, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said:

I'm only a virgin in the completely heteronormative sense of, if you're not able to get pregnant from it it's not sex, but I regret it because I'm pretty sex averse now. Just forced myself to do things I didn't like because I wanted to feel normal, and had a lot of negative feelings about my body from dysphoria and shame and stuff. But now just thinking about it is making me zone out, after my third relationship and ensuing mental health problems I pretty much realised I needed to stop dating and transition as well, for my mental health.

I understand that feeling. i only kissed one time because I felt a ton of pressure to do it from everyone around. I didn't even want to personally, but I just wanted to get rid of the whole idea that no one would ever understand that I've never kissed anyone before. It's rough to explain, but yeah, I figured it out too. I fell into that hole as well of wondering if I'm messed up or broken too. I felt people would think I'm weird because I've never kissed anyone or anything. So, I basically got nervous and worried about people making fun of me or if they could tell I hadn't been with anybody as well. So, I basically got desperate and kissed someone I didn't really want that way just so I could get the monkey off my back, per se. Peer pressure, it's powerful.

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tygersongbird
36 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said:

My friends lovingly call me the chaperone. XD

I was the chaperone as well. If I went out anywhere or had any friends, I would probably be the DD of sorts, the only DD I would ever be. It's why I don't go to bars or really go out anywhere at all. Almost everyone where I'm at wants to basically get hammered here. We have a crazy alcoholism rate here.

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tygersongbird
8 hours ago, CajunAce said:

Maybe we can form the "Virgin for Life" club

Count me in. I'm personally a big fan of the "Virgin for Life" brigade, though.

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Duke Memphis
1 hour ago, tygersongbird said:

I'm the same way. I am not ever interested in having anything of those sorts. I don't drink coffee, smoke, tattoos are out of the question, and no booze, please. We'll be the life of the party, won't we? Virgin cuba libres all around!

I sometimes get asked why I go to parties, as all of those except the coffee one apply to me, too. I like parties because I see them as fun social gatherings. Hang out with your friends, meet new people, hope for a good song to play, and dance. I love parties. I just don't party how most people do.

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tygersongbird
2 hours ago, Duke Memphis said:

I sometimes get asked why I go to parties, as all of those except the coffee one apply to me, too. I like parties because I see them as fun social gatherings. Hang out with your friends, meet new people, hope for a good song to play, and dance. I love parties. I just don't party how most people do.

Likewise. I don't go to parties to do all that stuff. I just like having fun and dancing. If I could sing at a show, I would do it. I just don't drink.

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CallaWolf

I don't plan on changing my status either, really. I'm also not out, at least not to everyone. One person knows, and I asked that person to keep it to themselves , which they have.

 

Saying that, I'll admit that every once in a while, I think to myself maybe it be easier to tell people I'm NOT so I wouldn't have to explain. Or follow Nike's example and "just do it" so I won't have to explain. But in all honesty, not wanting to explain and therefore diverting the conversation is much easier for me than actually "doing it" considering that I simply just don't want to do it.

 

I'm not a party person, since I'm not super outgoing, but I'd go once in a blue moon to a work one. I'd definitely not go to one if sex was gonna be omnipresent. If some drugs and alcohol may be there, I'd feel a little less weirded out by those than sex being there, honestly. I can't say I'm sex repulsed, because seeing it in movies doesn't bother me, but in real life I don't wanna be around it.

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Lunala

I'm nearly 16 and I want to stay a virgin my whole life because I have no interest in sex. I never experience sexual attraction to anyone and I would rather drink toilet water and walk down a path of lego bricks that are on fire and have spikes on them then ever be involved in sexual activities. I have never wanted sex, don't want sex, and will never want sex, and nobody will ever change that.

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tygersongbird
1 hour ago, Lunala said:

I'm nearly 16 and I want to stay a virgin my whole life because I have no interest in sex. I never experience sexual attraction to anyone and I would rather drink toilet water and walk down a path of lego bricks that are on fire and have spikes on them then ever be involved in sexual activities. I have never wanted sex, don't want sex, and will never want sex, and nobody will ever change that.

Nice analogy. I don't think I would ever want to have sex. I think I would rather jump off a bridge (literally) than do that. I don't want any part of sex. Whatsoever. I'm glad you know who you are now. I wish I knew asexuality existed before. It would have saved a lot of peer pressure and anxiety in school over trying to find some mate or whatever, because of compuslory reasons. Mighty happy for that.

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James121
On 2/4/2019 at 2:01 PM, tygersongbird said:

I know we have some sexual people on here that will be like "How can you know for sure you don't want sex if you've never done it?"

Not this sexual. My view is very simple. If that’s you then that’s you and good on you for being so headstrong about how you feel. 

My anger and frustration comes when someone like you decides... hmm, but I don’t want to be alone forever so I’ll have a relationship, have sex, get married, have children, then stop sex altogether and force my spouse to either have a sexless life or leave their children and their life. 

I couldn’t care less if someone wants to rule out sex. Completely down to you.

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tygersongbird
9 hours ago, James121 said:

Not this sexual. My view is very simple. If that’s you then that’s you and good on you for being so headstrong about how you feel. 

My anger and frustration comes when someone like you decides... hmm, but I don’t want to be alone forever so I’ll have a relationship, have sex, get married, have children, then stop sex altogether and force my spouse to either have a sexless life or leave their children and their life. 

I couldn’t care less if someone wants to rule out sex. Completely down to you.

Well, I must say you are a very rare exception. Most people simply cannot fathom how one would go their whole life without sex. Well, at least without being disordered or broken. That's just how other people act towards us. Unless you are having sex all the time, they'll declare you some sort of abnormality. They'll say you're a loser if you haven't had sex and are still a virgin. They'll ask, "Why? What's wrong with you?" Ugly, unattractive, dorky, dweeb, socially awkward- you name it. They'll mock you as such for being a virgin. Well, that's the way it goes for most.

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Nick2

Close enough to 68 yrs old to claim it and still a virgin. Do I win ???

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