WoodwindWhistler Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 So someone in a chat typo'd the f word as 'tuck.' During a debate about trans/cis dating. I said "Hm sounds like a trans Freudian slip" The moderator of said chat proceeded to call me transphobic and demanded I apologize. Er. I didn't say anything derogatory towards trans people?? Anyway, now I'm banned b/c I think Mx. Moderator is overreacting. Apparently any mere mention of tucking is only allowed by trans people. (To be fair, I was also warned for debating 'in bad faith' about veganism . . . which I also disagree with, ironically people were actually mis-representing *my* point of view, which is a type of bad faith, but I digress) I didn't mention the fact that I was technically agender and therefore most people would consider me trans, because if a cis person made a joke about a long dead theorist and an unintentional sort-of pun, I think it'd be equally as harmless. Link to post Share on other sites
Duke Memphis Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Emotion can cloud judgment, and debates can spark some serious emotion. You intended it to be a joke, but I'm guessing that the other person took it as a serious statement. Or maybe you perceived the typo, when the other person typed the intended word. Either way, communication is key. I hope you and the other person get a chance to explain yourselves to each other and reach a mutual understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 Sounds just like here Link to post Share on other sites
Dreamsexual Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 . Link to post Share on other sites
Scottthespy Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 This sounds like yet another case of some one looking for offence. I wasn't there so I can't say for sure, but if these people straight up banned you and were misrepresenting what you said, then...it sounds like a withchunt, yet another case of people who are looking SO HARD for the 'bad people' that they see EVERYONE as 'the bad people', and will rabidly turn on their own friends and supporters for nothing. Its happening all throughout the radical left these days, people getting slammed slurred and depersonned for talking to the wrong people, making a joke one person took offense at, or happening to appear in a video or at a studio that some one else who's been depersonned showed up in or at. The people calling for 'safe spaces' and 'tolerance' are rapidly becoming the most violently intolerant people out there, and its getting hard to say anything to some people without them finding a way to call it offensive. Link to post Share on other sites
K.I.N.G Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 How on bloody earth was that transphobic? Really people need to flipping relaxe and focus on the things that matter instead of this stupid shit - it’s an idiotic waste of energy and just leads more people to ignore the larger problems and make an already marginalised community more fucking toxic. Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 I don´t understand how that is offensive. But it can be likr how comedy useally work you are only allowed to kick up. Link to post Share on other sites
Light02 Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Doesn't sound transphobic to me. 🙂 Maybe they thought you were implying something which they perceived as transphobic? It's hard to tell what they were thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Sounds like a funny and potentially relevant typo to me... it's not like you were saying anything negative or highly inappropriate. I might even make the same crack myself Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted January 31, 2019 Author Share Posted January 31, 2019 What they were thinking was exactly what the told me- only trans people are allowed to use the word tuck. That was the explicit reason they gave me. That wasn't me speculating on what they were thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 On 1/29/2019 at 10:50 PM, WoodwindWhistler said: So someone in a chat typo'd the f word as 'tuck.' During a debate about trans/cis dating. I said "Hm sounds like a trans Freudian slip" The moderator of said chat proceeded to call me transphobic and demanded I apologize. Er. I didn't say anything derogatory towards trans people?? Anyway, now I'm banned b/c I think Mx. Moderator is overreacting. Apparently any mere mention of tucking is only allowed by trans people. (To be fair, I was also warned for debating 'in bad faith' about veganism . . . which I also disagree with, ironically people were actually mis-representing *my* point of view, which is a type of bad faith, but I digress) I didn't mention the fact that I was technically agender and therefore most people would consider me trans, because if a cis person made a joke about a long dead theorist and an unintentional sort-of pun, I think it'd be equally as harmless. Was this on Aven? Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted January 31, 2019 Author Share Posted January 31, 2019 9 hours ago, James121 said: Was this on Aven? Nope, GroupMe. Link to post Share on other sites
Light02 Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 16 hours ago, WoodwindWhistler said: only trans people are allowed to use the word tuck. Pffft. Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 16 hours ago, WoodwindWhistler said: What they were thinking was exactly what the told me- only trans people are allowed to use the word tuck. That was the explicit reason they gave me. That wasn't me speculating on what they were thinking. If that "rule" was stated on the homepage/landing site, I would either apologise or explain that you're agender and therefore fall under the trans umbrella (if you want to). If it was something that they just pulled out of their arse because they felt like it, just get outta there and tell everyone that the mods of that group are crazy with power. Link to post Share on other sites
WoodwindWhistler Posted January 31, 2019 Author Share Posted January 31, 2019 40 minutes ago, Celyn said: If that "rule" was stated on the homepage/landing site, I would either apologise or explain that you're agender and therefore fall under the trans umbrella (if you want to). If it was something that they just pulled out of their arse because they felt like it, just get outta there and tell everyone that the mods of that group are crazy with power. Nah. Just 'don't be homophobic or transphobic.' I'm not gonna say I'm agender regardless because the issue at hand here is being hyper thin-skinned towards cis people. It's the really vanilla version of 'cis scum.' Everybody is a human being with a cultural context and the more you make an ass out of yourself and play victim, the worse your cause is going to look. I've already been banned- I can't get into the group anymore. I technically still have PM access to the mod themselves, but I'd have to play that very carefully. First issue I would bring up is the 'bad faith' argument, really. More structural a problem and less emotionally charged for them personally. Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted January 31, 2019 Share Posted January 31, 2019 Eh I'd just leave them to play in their fantasy universe that they enjoy being gods of then. Not worth your time or energy. Link to post Share on other sites
DC69 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 That's one of the problems with the internet...it is all the written word with no tone of voice or body language to help others identify your actual intent. I've dealt with bullies like that myself a few times and they aren't worth losing sleep over. Banning you is their loss and not yours. In actuality they did you a favor. Link to post Share on other sites
Comrade F&F Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 What does 'tuck' even mean? Link to post Share on other sites
DC69 Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 7 hours ago, Feys&Florets said: What does 'tuck' even mean? It is the word for how we trans-women who haven't had bottom surgery push our testicles up into our bodies and fold our penises back so that our crotch area appears to be smooth like a woman's. They are then usually all held in place by panties or a tight fitting under garment. Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Why not just apologize? What would it have cost you as opposed to how it made some of the people there feel? I could explain why they probably found it offensive, but then _I_ could be cited for a TOS violation, so I 'd rather not. Link to post Share on other sites
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