Ask an Omniasexual

[NickyTannock]

I decided to make one of these 'Ask' threads because there is one aspect of myself that I haven't been able to relate to someone else, I'm Omniasexual.

According to AVEN's definition, an Omniasexual is a person who does not experience sexual, romantic, sensual, or aesthetic attractions.

In my case, I've never desired sex with someone, or a romantic relationship with someone, or intimate non-sexual physical contact with someone, like a hug or kiss. And I've only experienced aesthetic attraction twice in my 33 years of life, one of those times being towards a water fountain at an airport as a small child.
I've memorised the definitions for these different types of attraction so that I can help anyone who is confused about the attractions they feel, but I don't experience them myself.

 

So, if any of you are curious about it, ask me anything!

[NickyTannock]

1 minute ago, OptimisticPessimist said:

How did you come across Omniasexual and were you aware that their was a term for how you felt before you found AVEN?

I found the term while looking through the A/Sexuality & Sexual Orientation Lexicon here on AVEN,

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/123256-asexuality-sexual-orientation-lexicon-read-me/?do=findComment&comment=1061345333

 

Before coming to AVEN, I thought it was something I was alone in, as even other Asexuals seemed to experience a kind of attraction, be it romantic or aesthetic.

[firewallflower]

10 minutes ago, MichaelTannock said:

And I've only experienced aesthetic attraction twice in my 33 years of life, one of those times being towards a water fountain at an airport as a small child.

My interest is piqued. I know you define aesthetic attraction as "leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty"; is this "attraction" distinct from finding something aesthetically pleasing without feeling any particular desire to appreciate it, or do you simply not find people/things visually beautiful, period? (With the exception of those two occasions, that is.)

 

I ask because, while I would have previously understood "aaestheticism" as referring to an absence of aesthetic attraction to people specifically, it sounds like you're using it in a more general sense, to also encompass inanimate objects (such as water fountains)?

[LeChat]

Have you met or come across any other omniasexuals, here, online?

[NickyTannock]

36 minutes ago, firewallflower said:

My interest is piqued. I know you define aesthetic attraction as "leading to the desire to appreciate someone's aesthetic beauty"; is this "attraction" distinct from finding something aesthetically pleasing without feeling any particular desire to appreciate it, or do you simply not find people/things visually beautiful, period? (With the exception of those two occasions, that is.)

 

I ask because, while I would have previously understood "aaestheticism" as referring to an absence of aesthetic attraction to people specifically, it sounds like you're using it in a more general sense, to also encompass inanimate objects (such as water fountains)?

The reason I use Aesthetic Attraction in a more general sense to also encompass inanimate objects is that it was the same experience I had on those two occasions, and only those occasions.
 
I'm usually indifferent about how something or someone looks, though I do think humans, both male and female and everyone in-between, look strange to me.
 
On those two occasions, it was different from just liking the way someone or something looks.
I was compelled to scan that fountain and that person with my eyes and think about how perfect their angles and proportions were.
So much so, that I lost awareness of everything else around me completely.
It was like the whole world fell away.
I'd even lost my parents at the airport when I'd become fixated on that water fountain because when I snapped out of it, I realised they had continued walking, and I never knew.
In the case of the person, it was a young woman, and later I heard whispers about us "checking each other out".
I don't know if that was true on her part, but thoughts of romance or sex never entered my mind.

 

 

23 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Have you met or come across any other omniasexuals, here, online?

I haven't seen any other Omniasexuals yet.
I've been hesitant on using the Omniasexual label even though it might help me meet others because there is another definition of Omniasexual floating around that differs from the one on AVEN, and I've seen a great deal of criticism of AVEN's definition as another useless label.

[The Dryad]

I find this extremely interesting but I have run into people like you on AVEN before, I would be one as well, but I experience aesthetic attraction, usually not to normal people, but only models and other people with symmetry in their faces, and I'm interested in art and fashion and decor which is based on aesthetics.

 

So....how do you pick your clothes? Or decorate your house? Do you just do the bare minimum of basics?

[LeChat]

Hmm, I don't know how you'd feel about this question (as, it might feel too personal or intrusive), but, "Do you, sometimes, wish you could feel the other types of attractions?"

 

I'd hesitate to call myself "omniasexual," because I have experienced aesthetic attraction a couple of times when I was a kid, but, now that I'm older and don't experience these attractions, anymore, I sort of relate to not feeling any of them. Sometimes, I kind of wish I could go back to feeling some type of attraction toward other people, like I did as a kid, (because I see how happy others seem to be (married or dating; having children, etc.), but, when I hear about others' breakups, arguments, etc., that's when I'm suddenly relieved that I'm not experiencing those things.

 

It's odd, though, because I don't really want children, nor, when anyone asks to date me, it feels wrong and weird because I don't feel attracted to them or anyone else; yet, sometimes, my brain occasionally fantasizes and wonders what it'd be like to be in a relationship, the way others are, with cuddling.

[NickyTannock]

6 minutes ago, The Dryad said:

I find this extremely interesting but I have run into people like you on AVEN before, I would be one as well, but I experience aesthetic attraction, usually not to normal people, but only models and other people with symmetry in their faces, and I'm interested in art and fashion and decor which is based on aesthetics.

 

So....how do you pick your clothes? Or decorate your house? Do you just do the bare minimum of basics?

I choose my clothes based on how they feel, rather than on how they look, and if two articles of clothing feel the same but look different, I pick the one that's nearest.
 
And I decorate based on function, though I've had other people forcefully decorate for me because they don't like the feeling that my attempts at decorating create.

 

7 minutes ago, InquisitivePhilosopher said:

Hmm, I don't know how you'd feel about this question (as, it might feel too personal or intrusive), but, "Do you, sometimes, wish you could feel the other types of attractions?"

 

I'd hesitate to call myself "omniasexual," because I have experienced aesthetic attraction a couple of times when I was a kid, but, now that I'm older and don't experience these attractions, anymore, I sort of relate to not feeling any of them. Sometimes, I kind of wish I could go back to feeling something for other people, because I see how happy others seem to be (married or dating; having children, etc.), but, when I hear about others' breakups, arguments, etc., that's when I'm suddenly relieved that I'm not experiencing those things.

Sometimes I wish I felt each of them because they seem to be enjoyable for other people, but other times I think they would be a distraction or lead to more problems.

[LeChat]

1 hour ago, MichaelTannock said:

…Sometimes I wish I felt each of them because they seem to be enjoyable for other people, but other times I think they would be a distraction or lead to more problems.

That's a succinct way of putting it; I kind of wish I'd written that sentence, in order to shorten my paragraph.

[Chimeric]

3 hours ago, MichaelTannock said:

I've only experienced aesthetic attraction twice in my 33 years of life, one of those times being

What was the other? =]

 

Thanks for sharing!

[NickyTannock]

1 minute ago, Chimeric said:

What was the other? =]

 

Thanks for sharing!

The other was a woman.

[Goonie]

what's your favorite hobby?

[NickyTannock]

9 hours ago, Goonie said:

what's your favorite hobby?

For me, it's developing video games.

[Sexual Ally]

Thanks for bringing this up.  I'm curious, when you're developing video games, what are your favorite aspects of it (storylines, coding, etc.)  

 

Are you able to create aesthetic aspects for your video game landscapes/characters?   If so, is it difficult?

 

When you watch other video games, are you able recognize aesthetic differences between games, even if they're of little import to you?   (Assuming they're not ---  whatever relevance they have for you, I'd be curious to know).  

[NickyTannock]

56 minutes ago, Sexual Ally said:

Thanks for bringing this up.  I'm curious, when you're developing video games, what are your favorite aspects of it (storylines, coding, etc.)  

My favourite aspects would be the storyline and creating models.

 

58 minutes ago, Sexual Ally said:

Are you able to create aesthetic aspects for your video game landscapes/characters?   If so, is it difficult?

I'm good at creating beautiful landscapes and characters for video games, but I find it difficult, and I have to rely on a lot of references and feedback to do it.

 

1 hour ago, Sexual Ally said:

When you watch other video games, are you able recognize aesthetic differences between games, even if they're of little import to you?   (Assuming they're not ---  whatever relevance they have for you, I'd be curious to know).  

I notice design choices, but I have no sense of what goes together and what doesn't.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

I can understand that. I'm almost that myself. I do have aesthetic attraction in that I can appreciate beauty in a platonic way and have a connection with my daughter that includes hugs, but not much else outside that narrow range.

[Homer]

There are romantic folks out there who can't wrap their heads around sexual attraction. Are there specific kinds of attraction that are easier for you to understand than others?

 

(BTW I'm totally on board when it comes to decoration. Form follows function For instance, my lamps don't have shades. This drives people nuts for some reason or other, whereas I'm happy as long as there's light when I flip the switch)

[NickyTannock]

4 minutes ago, Homer said:

There are romantic folks out there who can't wrap their heads around sexual attraction. Are there specific kinds of attraction that are easier for you to understand than others?

I think the easiest attraction for me to understand is Sensual Attraction because I can see how a warm hug might feel as nice as putting on warm clothes from the dryer.

Whereas I can't wrap my head around Sexual Attraction because I can't see how sticking weird things into weird holes would be desirable, no matter how it feels.

As for Romantic Attraction and Aesthetic Attraction, I'd say they're tied at 'I can sort of understand them, but not really'.

[Homer]

27 minutes ago, MichaelTannock said:

As for Romantic Attraction and Aesthetic Attraction, I'd say they're tied at 'I can sort of understand them, but not really'.

I think that describing aesthetic attraction as a "desire to appreciate someone's/something's beauty" is waaaaay too complicated. Basically it's "Oh, that's nice/good-looking/yada yada" and that's it.

 

Romance though, I have no idea. That's some weird stuff

[Kitteη χ]

Interesting. I've never heard that term before, although it seems like it could apply to me. My experience actually seems to be rather similar to yours.

 

I've definitely never experienced sexual, romantic, or sensual attraction. I would also say that I've only experienced aesthetic attraction twice in my life, although I'm much younger (19) and both times were in just the past year. Both of those times were towards classmates, and I would describe it best as a strong recognition of their attractiveness that passed over me like a wave (I'm not sure if that makes sense at all, it definitely felt weird to write). Also interesting is that for both of those times, it didn't happen the first time I saw them. Instead, it randomly happened out of nowhere one day after I had already been seeing them in class regularly for a couple months.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

On 2/1/2019 at 1:20 PM, Homer said:

There are romantic folks out there who can't wrap their heads around sexual attraction. Are there specific kinds of attraction that are easier for you to understand than others?

 

(BTW I'm totally on board when it comes to decoration. Form follows function For instance, my lamps don't have shades. This drives people nuts for some reason or other, whereas I'm happy as long as there's light when I flip the switch)

I really  get that! Something that works and does what it says on the tin without any embellishment.