Is it possible to be gray-romantic but to both, male and female?

[WenN]

First of al, I am a girl, and I always thought I was heterosexual, because I have liked 2 boys before, now that I think of that, I think I never felt romantic attraction to those boys, it only was sexual.

Also resently it has happened that I liked a girl, we also started a relationship, she was in love for sure, but I still wasn't really sure, so for me it was more like a kind of experiment to find out what I really felt. I sometimes felt a romantic feeling towards her but it was most likely sexual, which confused me.

 

Now I think that I am bisexual and gray-biromantic. But I'm not really sure if it is possible to be gray-biromantic because I can't find anything about it on the internet.

So.. is it possible to be Gray-biromantic or is it most likely for me to just be bisexual?

 

(I know people can't tell me what I am but I hope some people have experienced the same and can give me some tips or advice about it, because I'm really not sure what I am.)

[firewallflower]

Hi!

 

I don't identify as gray, but from what I know, being gray-biromantic (or gray-homoromant, gray-heteroromantic, etc.) is certainly possible. Just because one doesn't feel that one's experience of romantic attraction is enough to label yourself fully romantic doesn't mean the attraction that one does feel isn't subject to the same gender preferences or lack thereof as any other sexual or romantic orientation.

 

I'd theorize (note that I don't actually have any solid data to base any of this on, this is just guesses and intuition, so take it with a grain or twelve of salt ) that many people who identify as graysexual or grayromantic may not care to include the gender specifiers in their label of choice because a) The times when they do feel attraction are so few and far between, or otherwise difficult to identify, that having so few data points makes it hard to pin down how gender relates to what attraction they do feel, b) Since most of the time, they may be effectively non-romantic anyway, gender qualifiers may not feel relevant enough to be important and/or c) There comes a point when adding more qualifiers to a label makes it more confusing, not less, and it's just too much of a hassle to reel off (just to use an imaginary, extreme example 😂) "I'm demi-hetero-sexual-sex-repulsed-and-gray-bi-romantic-with-a-preference-for-females".

 

So some or more of those possible reasons may or may not be related to the fact that you weren't able to find what you're looking for online—but none of that is to say there's any reason why you can't or shouldn't include the -bi- in your label if that's what you feel fits you best!

 

Of course, when it comes to you specifically, as you said yourself, I have no way of knowing whether you're bi, grey, or whatever. My best advice there (which I know can be incredibly difficult to follow ) is just to not overthink it. You are who you are, you feel what you feel, and the label is just a descriptor for what's already there.

[Slice of Ace]

30 minutes ago, Sannie said:

Now I think that I am bisexual and gray-biromantic. But I'm not really sure if it is possible to be gray-biromantic because I can't find anything about it on the internet.

So.. is it possible to be Gray-biromantic or is it most likely for me to just be bisexual?

Hi, welcome to AVEN! 🍰

Yeah, grey-biromantic is definitely possible! In my opinion grey is kind of an umbrella term which encompasses anything between alloromantic/-sexual and aromantic/-sexual, so it describes how the attraction is felt. Bi/homo/hetero describe the target of said attraction, so one doesn't contradict the other 😊

 

2 minutes ago, firewallflower said:

My best advice there (which I know can be incredibly difficult to follow ) is just to not overthink it. You are who you are, you feel what you feel, and the label is just a descriptor for what's already there.

I second this as well. In my opinion, labels are useful for communication and to make you feel better about yourself 

[Karst]

I don't see any reason why the two labels would be mutually exclusive.

[HobbitGirl]

Hi,

 

Gray-A Panromantic here. It's definitely possible to be both.

In that your ace aspect would correlate with your sexual orientation, and your biromantic aspect would correlate with your romantic orientation.

 

At least in my experience that's how my orientation expresses itself - I love irrespective of gender, but am generally non-sexual except for the purpose of closeness with my partner.

[dragon_cake]

Personally, I think it's possible. Although, I've been struggling on trying to understand what differentiates biromantic and panromantic (they sound very similar).

 

[Iam9man]

I’d wondered a similar question: Is it possible to be grey-bi-[attraction], but only grey towards one of the two genders? So, for example, romantic towards women and grey-romantic towards men?

[Bloc]

8 hours ago, Iam9man said:

I’d wondered a similar question: Is it possible to be grey-bi-[attraction], but only grey towards one of the two genders? So, for example, romantic towards women and grey-romantic towards men?

I don't see why not. People are different and if this describes how you experience attraction. However if you call it grey bi or just bi, is something to be decided for each individual case.

[WenN]

On 4/12/2019 at 2:44 AM, dragon_cake said:

Personally, I think it's possible. Although, I've been struggling on trying to understand what differentiates biromantic and panromantic (they sound very similar).

 

Bi is attraction towards your own gender and just any other gender.

💗

💜

💙

If you look at the bi flag it's pink, purple and blue. Pink stands for your own gender and blue for any other. And for the purple I'm not really sure.

 

 

And pan is attraction to all genders. (I'm sorry I dont know the meaning of the colours of the pan flag)