Kieran Regan Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 This is going to be my journey/introduction to the ace community FYI. It is sorta long, but I hope you guys get something from reading this. It started when I was 12, my friends and I were sitting around the freshman lunch table having a talk about our favorite movies that had come out that summer. I said my favorite movie was the hunger games because I had read all the books, and seeing them on the big screen was super amazing in my little world. It turns out that the rest of the table really liked the movie too, which was pretty cool, until I realized they didn’t enjoy it for the same reason I enjoyed it. You see, they liked Jennifer Lawrence, and I mean really liked her. They never asked me about what I thought of her, but that’s when I started thinking about who my eventual celebrity crush would be, and that it would be so cool to talk to my friends about it eventually. Fast forward a year year and a half later. I still had no celebrity crush, in fact I had no crush or attraction to anyone, ever (sexually of course). I was starting to get worried about whatever was affecting me. That was then compounded 10 fold when my friends decided to hook me up with this girl I had been friends with for a year now. See she really liked me, and I have a semi-flirtatious personality, but had never asked her out. She expressed this to my brother and his then current girlfriend, so they decided the best course of action was to bring me away from the table, to a secluded part of school all quiet like, where she was holding flowers and going to ask me out. A dream for most, but a nightmare for me. Of course I said yes to the question, but that was legitimately out of pure fear. I then proceeded to awkwardly make eye contact with her for the next hour of lunch, which felt like an eternity, then give her an even more awkward hug goodbye as the school bell rang. Then, finally, proceeding to never talk to her again. Yikes. (I apologized to her later, but it was nightmarish and all my fault for sure) From then on I, and many others, considered myself that one weird kid that no one truly gets but is nice enough to float between groups. I had no one in my life like me, and no one I could talk to either, until I learned about asexuality in biology weirdly enough. See some things reproduce asexually, and I had to learn about asexual sea cucumbers for a test, so I googled asexual and came back with the answer that a person can be asexual. Immediately I felt relief. Not in the fact that I had felt more related to a sea cucumber than a person, but that there were people I didn’t know like me out there, some where. I just had to find them. I made it a mission, of sorts, to let everyone I know understand that I was asexual, and just like it made sense to me, it made perfect sense to them as well. I rekindled friendly relationships and actually ended high school on a positive note! My parents were kinda supportive, still working on getting my dad to accept it to this day. Honestly that’s a whole different discussion, but that can wait. I moved to college at the University of Kansas, where I am now, filled with this sense of excitement at meeting new people and actually being able to express myself the way I want to be seen! Through that, and through openness I found a group of people who accept me for who I am, a couple other asexual people, and have educated many others about how sexuality is a spectrum and all that. That was before I found you guys here. See, recently I had been feeling very lonely. I wanted those deep and celebrated relationships that couples get, and had honestly started regressing into bouts of depression and confusion. I have great friends sure, but no-one I felt like I can talk to about the constant loneliness surrounded with being ace and aromantic. Not very many people understand, and very few are willing to give it an honest listen. So that is why I am here. Writing on this board, basically spilling whatever I got because not even my therapist understands. If you got this far, congrats on reading way more words than you needed to, and I hope you now have one more person to talk to, and to confide in. Link to post Share on other sites
Karst Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 That's a great story. Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Welcome! I relate wholly to being a group drifter. You thinkmyou’ve made some good friends but then you slowly kinda drift apart and it’s really awkward seeing them again because you used to be close and now you’re kinda not and hanging out with different people. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Welcome to AVEN! I also joined the site out of a sense of loneliness. I don't know any other Asexuals in real life, and I'm not out as Asexual to my family. I will say that I'm impressed by your circle of friends. Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, Link to post Share on other sites
Kieran Regan Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 I love all of you so much hahaha!! Also thank you for the wonderful cake, it is a lovely tradition :) Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Hi and welcome Thank you for signing up and stopping by! You've come to the right place - AVEN is a wonderful community with lots of friendly and supportive people from all over the planet Quite a few of us will be able to relate to your thoughts and feelings... you're definitely not alone! You might want to kick things off by having a look at Questions About Asexuality, which has a lot of information about the basics behind the concept of asexuality, all in one place. Then there's Asexual Relationships, where we talk about how being asexual (or somewhat close to that) affects our everyday relationships, be them familial, platonic or romantic. We also have a subforum called Asexual Musings And Rantings, which is full of all too relatable experiences... oh and did you check out the Meetup Mart to see whether there are any gatherings close to your location? Take your time to read and explore the forums and if you have a question, ask away! See you around and enjoy some cake: Link to post Share on other sites
gingerfennec Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 That has got to be one of the best discussion post titles ever so thank you for that. 🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
Custard Cream Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Hello and welcome! Have some cake! Link to post Share on other sites
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