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Older Aces & Aros: What's your living situation?


Galactic Turtle

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Strange But Not a Stranger

- Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

I live alone. I have lived with my parents until I was well into my 30s, for various reasons. The number one reason being money.

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

I live in an apartment. It's small-ish, but it's big enough for me alone. There are a lot of people living alone here.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

I wouldn't want to live with anyone to be honest. I'd be okay with relying on family, but other than that... please no.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighbourhood for anything?

Family. Maybe one or two coworkers, if I really had to.

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

My imaginary friends? No, I live alone... so no relationships here.

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbours?

They greet me, I greet them. There's small talk in the elevator sometimes, but I am rarely the one to initiate it. I only do that when I feel it's time to practice my social skills a bit. lol.

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

I guess this is. I've always wanted to live on my own in an apartment bulding like this. I could still do a bit better financially, but that's probably not going to happen.

 

- What is your ideal living community?

I like where I live. Everything I need is close by, I really don't think I have any reason to complain at the moment.

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Coily the Spring Sprite

Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

I live alone. I have lived with my parents until I was well into my 30s, for various reasons. The number one reason being money.

 

Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

Currently live in a one bedroom apartment. Have considered buying a condo or town home, but with the current leadership of the country I'm hesitant because some of the tax benefits have been removed and I fear we might have another crash like in 2007/8. 

 

 Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

I could with the right person, but honestly, I'm content living by myself and am not interested in just having anyone as a roommate. 

 

Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighbourhood for anything?

Yes. They'd most likely be family, close friends or co-workers.

 

Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

There's one person I talk to in the complex because we both have dogs, but it's more of a hi/bye type relationship.

 

Do you have a relationship with your neighbours?

We say hi and occasionally will have a brief conversation but nothing beyond that.

 

What is your ideal living situation?

I pretty much have it. I can pick up and leave fairly easily if needed. I'm not tied to a mortgage and all that nonsense. 

 

What is your ideal living community?

A place where I can walk or ride my bicycle everywhere for most of my needs. A place where I don't have to own a car and deal with monthly payments, insurance and the like. A place with good public transportation I can use during bad weather. A place of diversity where you can meet and experience different things. 

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

My living arrangements are about to change. From a dreary 9-5 Monday to Friday then nightly vegetation with eye strain, I'm going to 2 weeks work in someone else's living situation to help them and 2 weeks off in my own home. 

I also have the option of renting out a room in my house so that it's not left empty ....all change!

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I have a condo that I share with my grumpy cat old man cat, Panther. My living situation is the most ideal it's been for years. I rely on me myself and I. Before last year I had moved back in with my parents as I had lost my job and it taught me a lot of what I don't ever want. 

 

My neighbors are cool, introverted like me which is nice, save for my very next door neighbor who likes to party from 3 to 8 AM on weekdays sometimes...made a complaint about her. 

 

The condos are nice, built in the 50s, very quaint and with character. I live just outside of downtown Riverside which had beautiful plant scenery and quaint homes, wonderful art scene, hiking trails...

 

I made my dining area into a study and it overlooks the courtyard, so I sit there sometimes with coffee or tea and watch the birds and neighborhood cats, or storms when it does rain...

 

Any more ideal and I'd have a partner living with me but I will wait until I get bored of having freedom. After living with my parents for 4 years (ugh) I feel like I am still decompressing.

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On ‎2‎/‎7‎/‎2019 at 12:12 AM, chandrakirti said:

My living arrangements are about to change. From a dreary 9-5 Monday to Friday then nightly vegetation with eye strain, I'm going to 2 weeks work in someone else's living situation to help them and 2 weeks off in my own home. 

I also have the option of renting out a room in my house so that it's not left empty ....all change!

Its a good thing you don't have a pet right now.  Will you be going back to help the same person with each two week stint, or will you have different clients each time?

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Hi, I'm in my mid 50's, I live alone and have done so for many years, I live in a converted stable block behind a house that's been converted into flats, when I moved here back in around 1996, there was an ageing population, as they passed, their properties were sold on, converted into flats and bedsits, the neighbourhood went downhill rapidly, the area is now full of drunks and druggies who'd put a knife in you for looking wrong, would I rely on or trust them, hell no, not a chance.

 

What would my ideal living situation and community be? I'd like to live in the country, a small cottage, maybe a workshop for me to potter round in, nothing too big, just out the way from being too noticed but easy enough to get to work

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On ‎1‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 3:29 AM, Galactic Turtle said:

Hello humans. ^_^

 

- Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything?

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbors?

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

 

- What is your ideal living community?

 

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- Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

I live in a semi-detached house with my adult son, who moved back in several years ago while struggling with mental issues. The struggles continue.  I also have a very large dog (a husky shepherd) who is mine by default and 6 cats. And "the fish that will never die". I'd be the crazy cat lady if my sister didn't have more felines than me... 

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

I would not count on anything. From anyone, actually.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything?

I have met some of the neighbours. We do not share the same values. I would not rely on them, and it has been difficult for me to associate with them at all. 

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

My son and I are more like room mates. We are trying to have actual conversations, with some success recently. 

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbors?

As little to do with them as possible

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

I am a huge fan of something called co-housing. In this living arrangement, you have your own space (bedroom, sitting room, washroom) but you share a kitchen, dining and living area. You can run away screaming if you have to! But you have others around to be social with and for support. I dread being alone and parked somewhere in long term care. I have read how this sort of shared living arrangement can help with that. 

 

- What is your ideal living community?

See above.  Co-housing is an appealing living arrangement for those of us who are somewhat introverted.  Or who sometimes have to run away screaming...

 

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18 minutes ago, AllThisTime said:

I dread being alone and parked somewhere in long term care.

Where I live/work, at least, a lot of the long-term care/skilled nursing facilities are actually moving to model similar to your ideal.

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I'm approaching my mid-60s and have alternated between shared housing (mostly with nonrelated people, occasionally with family) and living alone, mostly the latter. I'm now renting a room from an older cousin on the cheap, in exchange for part-time care of his 92yo mom. It's close to an ideal living situation, with low drama and lots of solo time for me. We come from very different backgrounds and I wouldn't call us "friends", but we get along well and collaborate nicely  to  keep the household going.  We aren't close with any of the neighbors, but I have family and friends within an hour's drive and I visit them often. 

My ideal living situation would be this one, but in a bigger house with more room for my books, bikes and other outdoor gear that's now stuffed under the house in the crawl space. Oh, and a garage so I have more room for hobbies and a workout space. I really can't complain, though. 

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dancingeologist

37yr old, live alone with my dog in my house in small town USA. Have a neighbor who has offered to help me out if needed. Have a close friend that lives about 45 min from me and watches my dog when I travel. I used to have a roommate/life partner of the same gender that I lived with for 8 yrs until she passed away. I'm pretty happy alone but if I ever found another person like her I'd be open to living with someone again, as long as they had their own bedroom. I won't share my bed or bedroom with anyone, including my dog.

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12 hours ago, dancingeologist said:

I won't share my bed or bedroom with anyone, including my dog.

I have to laugh about this because all my house rules about dogs not being allowed on the bed go to $hit when I'm curled up in a miserable ball and a wet and persistent nose remind me I'm loved....  

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If paws are present they will end up on the bed, no matter what 

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Custard Cream
On 1/26/2019 at 3:29 AM, Galactic Turtle said:

Hello humans. ^_^

 

- Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything?

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbors?

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

 

- What is your ideal living community?

 

Live with my my husband. No kids.

Live in a house

Happy to rely on husband

Would turn to neighbours if required. We talk but aren't close.

I like my current living situation and community.

 

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa
On 2/8/2019 at 4:49 PM, Muledeer said:

Its a good thing you don't have a pet right now.  Will you be going back to help the same person with each two week stint, or will you have different clients each time?

A mix really. There might be some longer term placements or ones that just need a little time after hospital discharge.

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@dancingeologist I have similar dog rules, but the dog IS allowed to sleep in the bedroom, in her own bed, on the floor.  Sometimes she snores.  Dogs are never allowed on any of the furniture in my house, at any time, for any reason.  Some visiting dogs have a problem with this rule.   

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- Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

I'm 45 years old and live alone, have for years since my divorce.

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

I have a 2 bedroom mobile home

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

I rely on my houseplants to clean the air and quietly listen to me vent.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything?

My next door neighbour is transgendered and the best neighbour I've ever had.  She rocks.

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

Thankfully I don't have to live with anyone.

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbors?

See above and the lady that just moved in on the other side seems pretty awesome.

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

Something like I have now with a little more money

 

- What is your ideal living community?

As an Ace/Aromantic that is also an introvert, I'd be happy either with some other nerd to hang with or more of what I have, a lot of me, a lot of quiet, a lot of hanging at the local game store.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

Hello humans. ^_^

 

- Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

 I rent the lower level of my house to someone who also helps with household tasks I can’t do myself. We’re friendly, but not friends.

On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

I bought this house with an uncle who had Parkinson’s and was unhappy in a nursing home. He also had my same disease, although he didn’t get symptoms until he was in his 80s as is the case for most members of my family. One reason we never knew it was an actual genetic condition. Until lucky me. At the time, it was the perfect size for me, my uncle, and his live-in caregiver. Way too much house, though, for me alone now that he’s died. 

On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

Yes. I do. Disability as a way of cutting through self-isolating independence. 😏 You have to learn to rely on others to do for you what you can’t do for yourself.

 

Also, you have to learn that letting people help you is giving them a gift as it helps them as well.

On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything?

I rely on them too. One reason I bought this house is that I met some neighbors when I was looking and enjoyed talking to them. Of course, I didn’t know then that I was going to become disabled.

 

Now, I’m quite close to one next-door neighbor. She not only checks on me and helps with gardening and other tasks, but when she went to Mexico for six weeks, organized other neighbors to step in and take over for her in helping me.  That was when I was still gathering the nerve to rent out my lower level. Now I have someone living with me you can do those tasks, but neighbors will still step in if I ask.

On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

 Yes. Not romantic

On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbors?

Definitely

On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

Living in a monastery. Not a joke. It’s a wonderful way to have relationship intimacy without any expectations of sex. If you’re someone who isn’t  looking for a single romantic partner. There are lots of people to love in a monastery. 

 

I did live in one… But they ended up kicking me out because I couldn’t keep up with the physical work they expected.

On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

 

- What is your ideal living community?

Same.  😁

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On 2/12/2019 at 6:25 PM, Muledeer said:

@dancingeologist I have similar dog rules, but the dog IS allowed to sleep in the bedroom, in her own bed, on the floor.  Sometimes she snores.  Dogs are never allowed on any of the furniture in my house, at any time, for any reason.  Some visiting dogs have a problem with this rule.   

Oh yeah. That’s my dog’s sleeping arrangement too. I find it comforting to hear her snoring. I wish we could share a bed, but 1) there’s no room as I sleep in a hospital bed, 2) my insomnia/touch sensitivity never allowed when she was a puppy and asked to come into my bed, 3) she now prefers to sleep in her own bed.  

 

Only, my dog was allowed on “her” couch – which is now the couch (since my uncle died and I moved my stuff up to the ground floor/wheelchair accessible level. 😁

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On 2/13/2019 at 11:18 PM, Geek Girl said:

Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

I rely on my houseplants to clean the air and quietly listen to me vent.

👍🏻😁

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Apathetic Echidna

Housing Questions: I live in an apartment with a flatmate (I turn into a twitchy paranoid crazy angry person when I live alone). We get along well so I trust her with most stuff, but if it come to my chronic illness rearing it's ugly head I do have to rely on her quite a bit.

 

Neighbour Questions: My area of the apartment complex is a fair little village. I know everyone by name. I have 2 of my neighbour's house keys. Two other neighbours and I baby/dog/house sit (😄 the young family on the top floor must be saving hundreds!). We share gardening duties and I haven't had to take my bin to the kerb in 3 years because it is done for me. We wave when we see each other's cars in the neighbourhood and we chat when we bump into each other at the shops. Though I think I am a bad neighbour for here, because I still haven't invited them over to dinner (which was a regular thing at the last apartment complex I lived at). That said, in the other part of the complex no one is friendly except one old lady. 

 

Ideal Questions: I always want to live with someone, flatmate or friend or family.....but I do want a dog....which means I need a backyard. I guess the perfect community is the retirement village down the street. It is super fancy with so many amenities. It is also super expensive....but I guess they have to have some money to pay for the heated pool, the in house doctor and physio and masseur and the dance hall nights and restaurant/room service and laundry service and chauffeured car....let me just drool in the corner......

Also, and almost most importantly: as it is a cat free zone many pairs of ducks breed successfully on the grounds every year. Last year's count was 54 duckling :) 

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TheTeenyTiny

I live with my partner
We rent an apartment
I trust him with my life (we've been through a lot in 9 years)
I would NOT trust my neighbourhood for anything
Yes, I have a relationship with my partner 

No, I don't have a relationship with my neighbours 

My ideal living situation would be a relationship without sex (but my partner is sexual and I love him, so there are compromises to be made)
My ideal living community would be in a penthouse with large floor to ceiling windows. Mostly, I want a modern home with lots of natural light and high enough/shielded enough from public view so that I can continue to prance around in my underwear lol.

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  • 2 weeks later...
katinthehat

I'm in my late twenties living with my parents due to having health issues, but I'm getting ready to get my own apartment. I've tried to find a house so I can pay mortgage instead, but even bungalows cost more than I can afford here. I'm doing just ok financially, but this city is incredibly expensive and I'm worried that apartments would not accept my application due to not making exactly 3x the cost of rent in one month. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the touring of units I have to do, and the financial burden I will have in the next coming months. I do not like to live with people so roommates are not an option for me, I'd rather take on the financial burden then live with others. I don't have a relationship with my current neighbors. My ideal living situation would be to live on my own in a starter home in a nice area. My city unfortunately has high areas of crime that would be unsafe for a single woman to deal with as we are considered easy targets.

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 Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they

I live in alone in an apartment with my cat.     

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

An apartment house with other people around my age.  It has a community room, a theater, an exercise room, etc., so it's almost like living in a huge house where share common areas but have our own complete apartments also.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

Yes, some other residents.

 

Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything?

Just in my apartment house.  

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

with my cat, yes.

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbors?

Many of them in the apartment house, yes.

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

I like my current living situation -- it has both privacy and any companionship I might want.

 

- What is your ideal living community?

the one that I'm in.  

 

 

 

 

\

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Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they? I live with one of my moms and my younger brother (and our three cats).

 

Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort? We have a moderately sized, three-bedroom house. My bedroom is about the size of a tiny apartment or hotel room, so I have room for my bed, kind of library/sitting area, and art studio in that one room. It helps, of course, that I prefer to create small spaces to be in. There's also generally plenty of room in the house.

 

Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything? Yes. At this point, being that I'll be turning thirty towards the end of this year, I've accepted that I'm probably always going to have the issues that I have, and I don't think living alone would work out well for me. 

 

Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything? Somewhat. Some of the neighbours have been living in this neighborhood about as long as we have, and I have at least some idea who most of them are. They seem trustworthy. I wouldn't prefer to on them, however.

 

Do you have a relationship with the people you live with? They are my family.

 

Do you have a relationship with your neighbors? I know who they are. One of them used to be a co-worker of my mom's (the one who doesn't live with us), and my brother and I knew their children fairly well when we were growing up. I would say those are probably the only ones left that I actually know.

 

What is your ideal living situation? About how it is, honestly; living with one or two people who I really like and trust (I.E. family by preference) and cats. I'd rather be living a bit farther north and in a smaller city, but that's just being picky. It's still not horribly hot here, and it's not a big city or anything.

 

What is your ideal living community? Somewhere fairly cool with a lot of trees and not very many people. Where I live used to be more like that, but it's still not bad.

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  • 2 weeks later...

- Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

Living with my partner and our 17 year old son.

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

Renting a house

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

As a Type 2 diabetic I do rely on my fam for a fair bit and am ok with it.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighbourhood for anything?

We are not overly active socially.

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

Yes, but things are getting a little strained with my partner.

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbours?

We wave and I do know a couple of their names.

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

I frankly don't know right now, but I do know that my partner wants to travel and I want to be on property with enough room to do my own thing.

 

- What is your ideal living community?

Somewhat remote but with things less than an hour away so we are less reliant on delivery services.  Neighbors that check in with us on a monthly basis to ensure everything is ok would be fine.

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On 1/25/2019 at 9:29 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

 

 I live by myself with my two kitties.

 

I rent a condo.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything?

No. Wish I did, though.

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

NA

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbors?

No. My loner life means I am nearly a hermit despite living in a condo.

- What is your ideal living situation?

Truly, I am living it now. Alone, independent.

- What is your ideal living community?

Not sure, actually. I can be social but prefer not to be. Just wish there were more opportunities to meet neighbors outside of happenstance.

Edit: not savvy enough yet to figure out how to inline quote—my responses are inline.

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa
On 2/8/2019 at 4:49 PM, Muledeer said:

Its a good thing you don't have a pet right now.  Will you be going back to help the same person with each two week stint, or will you have different clients each time?

It might be different time, depending on the circumstances. 

Some will entail collecting them from holiday destinations because they've been taken ill on holiday and others will be because they need to be looked after for a couple of weeks post op...some will be in Scotland so I get to go home ...😊👍

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- Do you live alone or with other people? If you live with other people, who are they?

 

I live in a professional house share with another couple, so 3 of us total. They're just other tenants who I didn't know beforehand.

 

- Do you live in a house? An apartment? A boarding house or dorm of some sort?

 

It's a house refurbished into separate private rooms with a communal kitchen.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone you live with for anything?

 

Not at all, I'm very self-sufficient and my housemates aren't obligated in any way to look out for me, especially as we're basically strangers outside of living here.

 

- Would you feel comfortable relying on anyone in your immediate neighborhood for anything?

 

No, I live in a separate town to almost all my family and closest friends and only ever reach out to loved ones for help.

 

- Do you have a relationship with the people you live with?

 

Not really, we're just like friendly neighbours who occasionally chat.

 

- Do you have a relationship with your neighbors?

 

Not at all, I move fairly frequently so never know who my neighbours are.

 

- What is your ideal living situation?

 

Living alone comfortably with a few cats, maybe a small dog.

 

- What is your ideal living community?

 

The city, somewhere accessible and convenient where I can easily sustain my own needs, and go about my business not being bothered if I don't want to.

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